AIBU or is ex re. motorway drive?

[Mellaa]

Ex h recently moved to a town 4 hours away tonne with his girlfriend.

He used to have the dc for 3 nights a week and has now cut it to one night a fortnight.

He collects them first thing on a Saturday morning and brings them home on a Sunday evening.

He's now telling me from now on he will be collecting them on a Friday night at 9pm to drive them to his house, arriving at 1am...

I am not happy with this as he will have been working all day then doing an 8 hour round trip with my dc in the car on a regular basis.

He is very tight with maintenance, (he owes me a fair bit in unpaid) and I suspect his plan is more to do with having the dc an extra night so cutting his maintenance by a fair bit...

AIBU?

For all he knew the OP and family could have had plans for Friday evening. How Dare he just demand they be available to him.

Presumably he can't collect them earlier as he has to work, and lives a four hour drive away.

Not an excuse for his behaviour, though. Not that he cares that much about his kids because he'd rather strop and prove a point than see them at the normal time.

Our opinions don't matter a jot.

Op, if you are still reading, get some time with a solicitor to ascertain the likely outcome of him taking this to court.

All the posts saying you're right to be outraged or how unjust the law is aren't actually that helpful.

The anecdotes from people who have been through similar might give you an idea, but you need legal advice.

Thank you everyone.

So we haven't heard from him since. The kids were ok with it, or perhaps putting on a brave face..?

We're going away the weekend after this for a short summer holiday So I sent him a message asking if wanted to have DC this weekend. He replied yes, and that he would be here the same time this coming Friday... FFS!!!

The 'conversation' was this evening.

In one ear....out the other?

Reply telling him "the children will be available for contact at usual time of 8am Saturday morning" and then ignore any further contact from him. Go out again on Friday evening.

Don't tell him you're going out
Don't tell him the Dc are at your parents
Don't answer the phone to him
Tell your partner not to answer the phone to him
Tell your parents not to answer the phone to him
Turn your phones off until the next morning.

Just.dont.engage!

With that logic the court should order his new partner to do the driving as it was because of her this whole situation happened.

Perhaps I'll suggest this?

Thank you for all the support btw, have been reading all the posts. You've all helped me get the situation into perspective

Op - rather than take some of the advice on here to completely ignore your ex, why don't you email him to say that turning up on Friday will be futile (assuming you still feel the same way) and the children will not be available for pick up.

I would also suggest you speak to him about mediation/family court as this is where this will ultimately end up for a decision if you both cannot agree. You need to get this sorted for the kids asap.