Children at weddings

[mintich]

Not exactly AIBU, but what do you think of children/babies at weddings? Do you get offended if they aren't invited? Do you prefer to go to adult only weddings?

I prefer to take my children as it's a hassle to get childcare etc. Also because I work full time I tend to see evenings & weekends as being family time.

I'm not offended if they are not invited though but sometimes am unable to attend if they are not.

Totally depends on the wedding and the couple.
You never please everyone - do what you want. It is up to bride and groom.

I prefer it when it's just 'babes in arms'. Having kids at weddings is ok but I think people tend to enjoy themselves more when they haven't got to look after little people.

I prefer it when it's just 'babes in arms'. Having kids at weddings is ok but I think people tend to enjoy themselves more when they haven't got to look after little people.

Same.

OP are you n's sister l?

Ultimately it is up to the bride and groom.

As child I used to love going to weddings and seeing the bride and groom. Can you imagine a whole generation of children won't have been to weddings (extreme). It always strikes me as odd as weddings are part of the circle of life and children should be part of that. Just my thoughts.

I prefer to take my children as childcare is a nightmare and expensive for us so I wouldn't be able to go to a child-free wedding. My own wedding was lovely with all the children there, they made it better. It's totally up to the couple I just could not have a child-free wedding.

When we were married no grandchildren had been born so the youngest child was six and a cousin. We invited everyone to everything. No evening do anyway but we were admama t everyone was coming.

Since then we've been invited to every cousins wedding. One we didn't go to as too far. Another because DD was too ill. One bride and groom didn't invite the dcs so we didn't go either. We aren't going to the next family wedding as the dcs aren't invited and we don't want to leave them for so long and would be far away. If the dcs are expected but just not name does on the invite then we still can't go as they are in school.

My feelings are the whole family should be invited, the wedding should be on a Saturday and not on a school day and if you are miffed the adults don't come, make it so they can go and invite the kids!

I agree with the babes in arms thing.
If children are invited (unless it is immediate family or very close friends) we try to get a sitter if possible. We don't enjoy ourselves as much and spend most of the day chasing after children.

For my part, I love kids at weddings. We're getting married in a few months and as far as I'm concerned all my cousins (4 yo up to 15 yo) are as much a part of the family as aunts and uncles. A few friends have babies too - ok they're not family but I wouldn't have family kids there and not friends', defeats the object.

That said I wouldn't be judgey about anyone who had a child free wedding - sometimes it's nice to hear the vows (disclaimer, no kids of our own yet!)

People who bring their kids but don't take them out when they scream - those are the people I reserve my vitriol for

I agree with Physically - I've been to a few weddings where the reception has been a bit like a kids play zone until around 9/10pm when they go to bed

It really does depend on my relationship with the couple.

I want to take my kids with me (easier) and have declined when not able to (couple wouldn't allow babes in arms when we're likely to have a three week old) and been vilified for it.

However I'm all for child free weddings if that's what the couple want. Just don't make people feel like crap of if can't come

I don't mind child free weddings. I do mind when people get upset if I can't conjure up childcare for 3 children all day on a Saturday and then get stroppy that I can't go to their wedding.

I'm not offended by it but it did mean that for several years (when my children were small) people were a bit put out that only one of us could attend their wedding / party etc. We had nobody to sit the children and could't afford to pay for a professional babysitter so basically didn't go anywhere together for years unless the children accompanied us!

I wouldn't be offended if children weren't invited but it may be impossible to go, and I think people often don't understand that and are offended because they don't think leaving a baby/young child should be a big deal when actually it can be impossible if you don't have family nearby.

I do think weddings in general are taken far too seriously.

I imagine most people who have child-free weddings do it because of the costs, not because they don't like children, therefore I am not offended at all if my child is not invited.

Depends on the type of do it is IMO.

It felt as if we had as many kids as adults at our wedding Only 30 guests. Wedding, buffet, champagne and cake, then tea/coffee/wine and nattering in the afternoon in a lush country house - no evening piss up. Was lovely to see the kids running about together on the lawn all dressed up.

I don't mind other people's children at weddings.

I like not taking my own - I have a much better time when I don't have small people to wrangle.

My niece is having a child free wedding except for my two kids and one other. Two year old flower girl and babe in arms (should be 10 weeks or there abouts?)

She has actively had a massive amount of pressure and falling out with other members of both sides over this.

She has also said she thinks it would be "brilliant" if my 2yo throws a strop down the aisle.

You can tell she hasn't got kids yet.

Oh - does it offend me if others stipulate child free? Well it might mean i can't go. Not offended. Just sad to miss it. Each to their own though.

(The ''leave your kids behind and let your hair down'' comment on some child free wedding invites always piss me off for some reason. As if it's my sole opportunity to have any fun and they're doing me some massive favor. When in fact they've probably made it too awkward to attend at all)

While I think it's good for them to be part of the celebrations, I actually prefer childfree so I can spend the day catching up with friends and family properly and not looking after the DCs. Especially if mine won't know anyone of the other children there (they are both shy).

I never went to a wedding till I was 17 (my parents were the last in their generation in both families to marry) and don't feel I missed out on anything. Have more than made up for it since.

I find child free weddings odd, I just don't understand why a family occasion doesn't involve all generations

I recently pissed off a woman because I couldn't sympathise that her friend was being a bitch in saying that unless her 6 week old was allowed to come she wouldn't be able to make it. This woman couldn't understand that the mother couldn't leave her breastfed newborn overnight for her wedding, and didn't want the baby to spoil the mood she was creating.

No im not offended if my children aren't invited, why would I be? I look forward to a rare day just me and DH knowing the dc are having fun with grandparents. I do think tiny babies should be invited though as not bringing them isn't really a choice and I would rather have my friends at my wedding than not come because they can't bring their baby who won't take up any room or cost anything.

I had close to 20 children at my wedding and I loved it and they loved the theme. My aim was to make everyone feel like children for the day and it worked wonderfully