Children at weddings

[mintich]

Not exactly AIBU, but what do you think of children/babies at weddings? Do you get offended if they aren't invited? Do you prefer to go to adult only weddings?

I respect the decision of the bride and groom, each to their own and everyone has different budgets/priorities, etc. but as others have said, people who have child free weddings should understand that this might mean some guests are unable to attend.

I do prefer it when my DC is invited and I get to decide if they attend or not - but only because I don't like having to decline if I can't sort childcare. Love a good wedding!

Either way, please make sure you don't send save the date cards with DCs name, then invitations without, then get shirty with your guests when they contact you for clarification. At least be consistent!

I see weddings as the joining of two families, so members of those families come along irrespective of their age. And because it's a family event, friends get to bring spouses and established partners plus Dc too.

But if someone wants to do it differently, that's fine. It's their wedding.

I don't like the 'babes in arms' or any other cut offs. All or nothing for me.

(If you'd rather not bring your DC, you can accept for the adults but decline for them - I don't want to give the impression that my 'all or nothing' dictates how guests RSVP in line with what works for them)

I personally don't mind children at wedding but also am not offended if mine are not invited. We didn't invite everyone's children to our as otherwise there would have been almost as many kids as adult. We stuck to family children and children of friends that we knew well. When our kids aren't invited however, we can't always get suitable childcare so depending on circumstances, who it is ect only one will attend or we will both decline.

I invited people to bring their kids. Arranging childcare is a pain especially if the usual suspects are also invited. The aggro was on the parents not on the bride and groom.

Weddings are about family and friends. When your family and friends have kids they are now part of the package. I like to spend weekends and holidays with my family. I don't get why people have kid free weddings, a wedding is there to celebrate the creation of a family nightclubs are for parties

I love seeing kids running about and having fun at weddings BUT I can understand why people would prefer a child free wedding.

I don't think people have the right to get offended if their kids aren't invited to someone's wedding, no.

as in we know the children well... Obviously we know our friends well. I just read that back and it sounded wrong!

@snotato who's sister???

I think it is entirely up to the bride and groom and that it is their choice and their budget.

I have been to both types and both types have been perfectly lovely.

My parents live abroad and my in laws 400 miles away so I do have to rely on a friend to have the children if it is child-free. But as I am a good friend (or I'd like to think) and my kids aren't too bad either then it has never been an issue to find a willing friend to have them overnight.

Not sure what I'd have done if I'd ever been invited to a destination wedding that was child free though.

I don't have any problems at all with other peoples' children at a wedding but even if mine were invited I wouldn't bring them as I want to enjoy myself and relax. Obviously if it was a close family wedding and the kids had a role in it I would.

For us a wedding is a family occasion. We invited all the kids to ours. Was a fab day - there were some little strops, a squeal at the "does anyone object" bit (made everyone laugh!) and a bit of overly enthusiastic dancing.

But we had all our family at the wedding - would probably have turned into a dull booze-fest without. Weddings don't have to be perfect - the most memorable ones usually aren't.

It's the bride and grooms decision. Their day, their way!
Personally i like children at weddings, weddings are an important part of society and children are very much part of society.

However if you do take a child to a wedding please, please, please take them out of the church if they start making any form of noise during the service - as other people can't hear and it is very annoying. My friend has her wedding video with a child screeching all the way through the vows.

Please be considerate.

I wouldn't have any children at all at my wedding

I never mind kids at the church (as long as parents intervene if they are making too much noise) and at the afternoon reception. It's a family occasion, and a celebration after all. But I will admit, I don't enjoy children at an evening reception......running and screaming around the dancefloor, and with lots of drunken adults around, not a good mix.

I'm a bitter childless woman whose womb doesn't work, and I'll admit I was really, really relieved to see that the invite for a wedding we went to a couple of weeks ago specified 'no children' on the invite. This is mostly selfish, as I find being around babies a bit tough at the moment, but to be honest I just do think weddings are a lot better without small children. They're relatively formal, adult events and it's surprising how few children it takes to make the place feel like a day care centre!

I think children make a wedding.

I love their cute outfits, the adorable dancing they do, their sense of wonder of being in a special place on a special day.

My sister's getting married on Saturday, it's child free, and I have a 7yr old and just turned 3yr old twins. When she told me it was child free, I was upset for about a second as my 7yr old loves a dance , but then i realised if they came, I wouldn't be able to catch up with everyone, as I'd probably be spending the whole time stopping the twins from fighting! Plus, it's not a big, formal wedding, but a civil service followed by a reception in the local pub, so not overly kid friendly anyway.

BasketOfDeplorables in my experience, brides (and it does tend to be the bride) who won't include babes in arms AND THEN kick off about guests who are unable to attend tend to be bridezillas who have spent their entire engagement creating drama after drama. Don't want someone else (eg 6 week old baby) taking the attention away from ME ME ME...

I've been a guest at weddings that have been ruined due to babies screaming through the vows and speeches, and the parents haven't taken them outside. So for that reason, I'd say no to babies at my wedding. I would want to be able to hear myself and my DH2B making our vows.

I have to agree that I think the invitations that try and spin no children as a favour to you are awful. They have the same vibe as those signs that say 'smile, you're on cctv'

We had no children, except one babe-in-arms. The venue was entirely unsuitable for small people on purpose

I think there's a lot to be said for basic good manners, and I think couples who put their idea of a 'perfect day' ahead of politeness and inconveniencing their friends and family are probably not the sort of people whose wedding I would particularly want to go to anyway. I think the most tactful thing to do is to leave it up to the parents as to whether they want to bring their children - some will and some won't, problem solved.

At our wedding, it was the grown ups who were more badly behaved anyway

I really like to see children at weddings. We had plenty at ours and had two children's pews at the front of the church and a children's table for them at the meal with stuff to do whilst waiting for food and enduring the speeches. All were very well behaved and seemed to be having fun. I have a number of drawings of our wedding to go along with the photos. The drawings are much more flattering too!

I wouldn't take offence at all if DS wasn't invited to a wedding we were invited to as I can certainly understand that it wouldn't suit everyone and hope the couple wouldn't be offended that we probably wouldn't attend either or just DH/I would attend if it was someone close, so the other could look after DS.

@FuckingSausageFingers @BasketOfDeplorables

Ours was a groomzilla! He then had a long conversation with dh about how we should hire a hotel room and hire a nanny. Then I should just "stay at home with the kids so dh could have fun" and then drove over to a mutual friend's house and spent three hours ranting about how selfish we were and how we were ruining "his special day".

😜

So much fun