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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we have lost what we once had?

163 replies

Iwannabeabillionaire · 04/07/2017 23:10

Ok so background. Been with dp 20 odd years. Three Dc. Was planning a 4th (unlikely now).
Very different people. Him not talkative. Likes very basic conversation
I'm very chatty. Like a laugh. He prefers telly to talking.
However,we do have a lot in common and are from similar backgrounds and have values in common too

Had a few periods over the years where things haven't been great. And it's been mostly me picking flies to be fair. He's very complimentary to me and says nice stuff and has been tolerant of what I would describe as highly strung behaviour from me.But the vast part of our relationship has been great and we have been close

Fast forward to about 18mths ago . He has stopped being tolerant of me. And now is very intolerant.
Bites my head off at jack shit. I walk on egg shells. He seems exasperated by me.
Yes I've gone on at him for years,mostly over nothing but he's always said he takes no notice. I've always apologised if I'm wrong and I'm generally kind,affectionate,loving and made a huge effort in our realtionship.
Suddenly he finds me hugely annoying
Not a week goes by now when this doesn't escalate into a row. Either him biting my head off and I react. Or me having had enough and pulling him up. Only for him to say im going on again and hes fine!!
I can't take any more. I'm actually suffering from anxiety
And sadness for happy times we have had
Now I hate feeling that I'm an irritation to a man
Tonight he has just gone to bed at 1030 after a not particularly busy work day for him. I've had a 3 hr commute . When i mentioned this he said 'oh dear'. He could have stayed up a bit even if he was tired.
We go on a.family.hol in Aug. It's the one thing i love. Its gonna be miserable at this rate.
If I try and talk. He says he's fine and everything will be ok. So long and i don't go on or nag. He basically wants me to be normal even if I don't feel it. And he really doesn't want to address any issues as he sees them as non issues.
Please advise.

OP posts:
Cocklodger · 06/07/2017 08:54

20 years of you being
"Highly strung"
"A nightmare"
"Insecure"
You sound very controlling.
Getting annoyed at someone for going to sleep because you're also tired?
If I was your h I'd have told you to fucking go to sleep and stop moaning.
Seems you've pushed him too far. He sounds depressed tbh.
I feel for the man.

Italiangreyhound · 06/07/2017 09:28

"As for the older stepchild. That has all been resolved years ago. I made the child welcome. Came everywhere with us. Had own bedroom. Theres certainly no ad feelings around that." That is great to hear.

Do not be too hard on yourself, sounds like you have done well and you and your dh just need to talk. Thanks

Summerswallow · 06/07/2017 09:34

I don't know why you are getting such a hard time on here, or why everyone has decided your husband is some poor put upon man who has a right to be downright rude, make you feel you can't be yourself in your own home, you are creeping around at night trying to be quiet and not upset him. Weird, and I don't think typical of replies you would have received at another time point or perhaps on the relationship board.

You don't sound like a 'nightmare', that's how women who are expressive and don't just creep about often describe themselves, but nothing you write about here suggest you are exceptionally nasty, domineering, controlling-just a normal person, with normal moods, looking after several children and working hard.

Your husband has withdrawn, doesn't want to listen to you (and why is that ok even if he's listened for 20 years, if you stop listening and communicating with your partner, then your marriage will go down the tubes whatever the cause?) and isn't into you anymore.

I would stop flogging the dead horse of trying to find out why he's behaving like this, because it could be a) fed up after all these years b) someone else c) male menopause d) mid-life crisis e) thinks he has a right to be a grumpy old man.

Whatever your personality, and however bubbly/fun/highly strung you are, you used to have fun together, and now you don't and he doesn't even seem to like you. That's not nice and it's also not nice not to tell someone what's going on if you don't actually like them anymore, so even if his actions were 'justified' which I don't believe they are, he's still an emotional coward with his 'it's all fine, I still love you' stuff whilst snapping and getting angry to the point you can't be yourself in your own home.

I'd stop trying. I'd continue to have fun with the children, and look to a life outside, so step up any career plans, increase hobbies etc. I'd also wait til things are calm and have a very basic talk with him and not be fobbed off with his crap about loving you but treating you like you are very irritating. I would also think about leaving as it's very soul-destroying, however much you are to 'blame'. Don't spend time working that out though, you may never do, I'd look outside for your fun and happiness and perhaps adjust your thinking about whether a life outside this might work for you for the next twenty years.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 06/07/2017 10:04

Hear hear

Iwannabeabillionaire · 06/07/2017 17:46

saimanyou haven't read what I said. I wasn't shitty over his child from prev relationship. I found it hard as a very young woman expecting to play step parent from very early on.
I'm talking 25yrs ago here! I got through the initial difficulty of that and we had many happy years doing things as a step family. This child is now an adult.
My dp feels he expected too much early on. And fully admits that. Yes he came as a a package with a child-doeant mean I should spend all my time with them. I wouldn't expect that of a man I met with my dc.
Like I said that was decades ago and a total non issue in the situation now.
I never ever said I was 'shitty '. I said I found it hard.

OP posts:
Iwannabeabillionaire · 06/07/2017 17:53

Thank you to the supportive posters.I have not been a nightmare for 20 yrs! I have maybe worded it wrong. Nightmare at times. Havent all of us i guess?
Highly strung. Yes thats one aspect of my personality.
Just like someone may be quick tempered or moody.i do have other qualities.
I've used these examples to maybe rain the change in our relationship
It could be something else.
As for him.planning to take the kids. Highly unlikely. He would never be so cruel. We are not married anyway.
I doubt he would cope. And without sounding mean they wouldnt choose to live away from me and with him. Theu love their dad if course. They do often ask why he's always so serious and in a mood. I always say we are just different people and that's not bad.

OP posts:
Iwannabeabillionaire · 06/07/2017 17:56

summerswalllow tbanks. That's why I'm trying to do. I'm making a bit of a life away from this.and kind of doing my own thing a bit.
I'm leaving him to whatever it is that makes him so irritated with me for the meantime.
It's soul destroying. And I can't tiptoe around in my home.

OP posts:
Iwannabeabillionaire · 06/07/2017 18:00

I should have perhaps not posted in Abu. But it's great for volume of responses.
I find it annoying when people don't read properly.
And saiman in particular said I was shitty over my stepchild Nd that itt was ason. I didn't say it was!

OP posts:
Saiman · 06/07/2017 18:02

Okvyou werent 'shitty' but you chose to be with a man who had a child then created when he put the child first. You could have slowed things down or walked away.

You said you were the one that saod he chose to he with you so its just tough and you are how you are. I actually think thats fine to a point. But you know you have been a nightmare and havent tries to change that fact for 20 years.

You also chose him and how he was and his situation.

I call the vehaviour around his son shitty. But you dont. Difference of opinion. My point is, all these things build up and cause resentment. Resentment doesnt appear over night.

He has probably felt how you do noe for over 20 years. Now you are getting it back you want things to change.

Honestly me and dh were in a similar marriage. And when dh decided 'i now realise i need to change because you arent taking it anymore' it pissed me off even more. Because i felt like i had put up with his shit for years and he waited until i was ready to go to want to change. I refused counselling. But he went and it did save our marriage. But the resentment was difficult to get over.

I am sure you have loads of amazing qualities. But i cany get my head round someone knowing they were causinf problems for their dp and just carried on. If he hadnt have outwardly shown you that he has had enough, you would carry on as you are. Its likely that he hasnt been happy for a while and you just havent seen it.

As i said, i did come out of still married and i hope you do to. But it took a lot of work.

Saiman · 06/07/2017 18:04

Sorry for the typos. I hate my phone Blush

Nanna50 · 06/07/2017 19:08

Ive read it properly and you're still criticising him he must feel your disappointment.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 06/07/2017 19:37

Wow the man defending on this thread is astounding

Summerswallow · 06/07/2017 19:45

Finally the OP says that the children find him moody and rather disciplining when they go out and shouts at her in front of them at home to the point she is now avoiding him to keep the peace. Perhaps her criticism is well placed?

Whatever, he can't go on shouting and being moody and altering the mood at home forever over slights (which may or may not be what he's annoyed about) that he's not prepared to discuss honestly. Something has to give, and at the moment, it's the OP's happiness.

Summerswallow · 06/07/2017 19:47

Sorry- my remark was to Nanna, Finally I agree with you, this has been quite an unpleasant read.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 06/07/2017 20:18

Man treats woman coldly and with no affection.

It must if course be womans fault for being annoying to the almighty male.

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 06/07/2017 20:18

My DH does the same OP and it always means he is stressed or depressed.

But it sounds more part of your dH's nature. Its hard i know.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 06/07/2017 20:36

" I'm being painted very bad." Yes, I think you are and that is unfair. It may be that you are being harder on yourself than you need to be. Some women can be very honest about things and even paint themselves worse than they are because that is what some women do.

I considered that when reading OP's posts. And also the possibility that she is a "nightmare" is something OP has been told so often by her husband (or someone else) that she simply accepts it unquestionly and without any critical self analysis.

However, my sense from her posts is that she is very minimising and dismissive of her perceived character flaws, not what I would expect from someone with low self esteem or who's been emotionally brow beaten by another.

Ilovetolurk · 06/07/2017 20:54

I'm afraid that I am another one who thinks the scales have fallen from his eyes. Not fair that he won't talk about it though, maybe when you are away on holiday and it's more relaxed a frank discussion could be had.

As an aside if maxandruby is still about, any chance of enlightenment on the Unfortunate Pancake Incident....?

Italiangreyhound · 06/07/2017 21:07

op it does sound like your Dh is pretty hard to live with. Do you want to stay together? If you do maybe you both need to find a new way forward.

Good luck. Flowers

Iwannabeabillionaire · 07/07/2017 09:12

Saiman you ate still referring to a stepson. Nowhere have I said it is a son! And who said I 'created around the child? And what I have said around the situation that makes me sound shitty?
I said I found it difficult in the early days a a childless young woman expected to take on the responsibility of my dOs child. Yes I knew that he had a child and accepted that of course. But it was difficult when we saying and we didn't have much time as a couple on our own. That's difficult to build a relationship,surely you must see that?
If I was in a new relationship now whilst I would expect the man to accept my dc I wouldn't expect him to play step dad from day one. And is make sure that we had time together as a couple to get to know each other. That would be hard as my dc live with me,but dps didnt.
Anyway all this is irrelevant as it was 2t yrs ago and as much as my dp isn't a communicator.,I do know him. A d I know this is not even on the radar anymore.
My nightmare behaviour hasn't been all of the time!if I've ever said anything out of turn I've always apologised and explained myself. Just because I'm more vocal when I'm upset doesn't mean I'm not a good partner. His way of dealing with situations is to blank me
Which is t good either.
And for the record he does have lots of good points!we share similar values,have similar backgrounds. He is kind,appreciative,reliable,hard working honest. And he would give me his last penny.
And Italian greyhound yes I do want to be with him. With the way he's being towards me is making me not like him much.

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 07/07/2017 09:26

Why wouldn't he take the kids. You are not coping. You have a 3 hour commute. You both work full time but he is physically around more.

Man treats woman coldly with no affection

After experiencing 20 years of highly strung sometimes nightmare behaviour from partner

FinallyThroughTheRoof · 07/07/2017 09:30

You're starting to sound vicious now Oliversmum.

Iwannabeabillionaire · 07/07/2017 10:47

Yes oliver slightly TOT reaction!
He would never take the kids. I'd be amazed. He would have no way of looking after them alone for a start. His family wouldn't help. And without sounding spiteful they wouldn't go. They love their dad but they are very close to me. . I spend the most time with them. I may occasionally work longer days but generally I'm there on a day to day basis. And mostly all of the school holidays. I've said all this upthread though.
I don't think he's planning leaving me anyway. If course I could be wrong but financially it would be very difficult too
Anyway he tells me he's happy with me doesn't he?he probably Is, so long as I can't about day to day trivialities and i dont push him for any in depth conversation.

OP posts:
Iwannabeabillionaire · 07/07/2017 10:48

And Oliver,who said he was physically around more?!he's not. I'm around more as a whole.

OP posts:
Iwannabeabillionaire · 07/07/2017 10:48

OTT I meant

OP posts: