To tell my neighbours their bonkers?

[Sparklyshoes16]

We've bought a house and absolutely love it and spending a lot of time and effort doing it up on the inside...as the weather is good we've decided to turn our attention to the garden and start clearing the jungle of overgrown bushes etc...as soon as we bought it we spoke to the neighbours and made it clear that we would be putting new fences up (matching the existing ones as our neighbour had taken out some panels) and getting the tree chopped back...the tree root is near the boundary but on their side...we had some people come round to give us a quote on how much to get the tree chopped back and to clear the garden etc our neighbour decided to come out and give them what for telling them it's a friendship tree and no one will be touching it as she hangs xmas tree lights up on it (there was non this Xmas just gone). I didn't actually know what to say so just smiled and said erm well no we discussed this and you agreed to have it chopped back and cut down a little and then ushered the garden people away from the mad woman...we know we have no legal standing on her cutting some of it down but according to her we can't make her cut it back either? We've checked the deeds over incased we'd missed something (we had already done that before we purchased) AIBU to tell her she's bonkers and to mind her own business? We've had no problems so far and always gone round to apologise for any builders noise but she has completely flipped on this...any advice?

Why is the OP bonkers for wanting a straight fence along her boundary?

YANBU, OP - I am assuming on the deeds of the property, the boundary is a straight line and not curving in around some ancient tree with a Tree Protection Order? If the boundary is straight, the neighbour should not have planted the tree there and put twee wire fence curving in.

If she doesn't want the tree moved, your tree surgeon can lawfully cut the overhanging bits encroaching into your garden, so you can remove the wire fence and put fence panels in per the boundary on the deeds

I get on wonderfully with my neighbours and we have regular coffee and chats but we also have fence panels between our houses on the correct boundaries. YANBU at all.

I really wonder about people on here. 'I'd cut it down and hand the branches back', 'I'd use weedkiller', 'I'd get my children to kick balls in the garden.' Really? Because I also hear time and again how people don't like confrontation.

I find both approaches - provocation, which is usually all mouth and no trousers - and weedy rolling over to bullies, completely ineffective.

Most of us in this country do not have privacy when we are outside our own homes - that includes being in the garden; people can see you. We are entitled to expect people not to walk in or our children or pets not to get out. It that means chopping back a tree and putting up a fence, then that's what's going to have to be done.

If my neighbour needed that to be explained, then I would do it. I don't think it's wise to delegate that to the tree surgeon. If I was the contractor I'd prefer you to sort it out before I came to do my work. I wouldn't want to be getting involved with neighbour disputes. In fact that would definitely put me off

And it''s not a tree. It's a 10ft bush. I could tackle that over a weekend with a machete and a stepladder

She actually said she was going to have her say in who bought the house?! I think PP got it right, SHE is the reason the house went on the market, 'friendship' tree my arse! She sounds like the kind of person who will fall out with you if you don't do ecerything she wants anyway, OP, just be polite but firm. You want a dog and a securely fenced garden, not the tree (or her bugging the shit out of you every time you set foot in your own garden).

I suspect that the people who previously owned our house may have had neighbour issues over a tree. We'd only been here a few days when neighbour pointed out how a flowering cherry in our garden, but right by the fence was undermining the foundations of his garage and would we mind awfully if he got someone to remove it. We told him to knock himself out as it was obviously unhealthy - middle of August and every leaf curled and sticky with blackfly. I think he was a little flummoxed that we didn't give him an argument!

I really do not get the people saying to leave the tree alone. It is a common bush, nothing spectacular, that the neighbor planted smack dab in the middle of the boundary line. It is OP's right to have a fence and privacy on her own property. The neighbor can plant a lovely Christmas tree on her own property and Op can plant a lovely Christmas tree if she likes on her property. I love Christmas trees with lights in the garden. However, a person has no right to encroach on another's property! The neighbor is the arrogant one with the less than Christian demand that Op give up her own property, privacy, a decent consistent straight fence, fenced in for dog and children, etc. ON HER OWN PROPERTY. It is a common bush, for goodness sake. Come on!

I agree with pp who said not to leave it to the tree surgeon to tell/explain to the neighbor. Tell her beforehand, tell her nicely but firmly. It is your property, you want privacy, you want a fence for your dog and your children and your own privacy, and you have the right to do that on your own property. That's it!!!!!

Thanks all for the replies husband went to have a chat with one of our neighbours (one of the longest on the close) whilst putting the bins out last night and discovered there was a bit of an issue with the people we bought the house from and our neighbour...from what we understand slight falling out with the women then escalated to the husband's. NDN and her husband are not quite as popular as we thought.

Unfortunately husband and I are not green fingered...we've also checked the deeds for a third time and found nothing about the tree and the boundary is in a straight line. Tree surgeon will hopefully be able to explain to neighbour and us at same time so the neighbour is not just hearing it from us.

We do...do odd jobs for her like cut the grass on the front verge...give her a lift from the top if we see her with heavy shopping from the bus etc but all this comes down to is wanting the fence panels back in that we're removed by then...4 in total...there are overhanging bush things further down the garden and not worrying about children/dog escaping in the future and some privacy for when we're having guests over etc.

OP, I'm with you 100% on this. It's an ugly tree but even if it was pretty I'd still want a fence. I think you sound as though you are being very reasonable. I'm not sure I'd bother getting into discussions with her. I'd politely let her know that I'd be as careful as possible but that I'd be cutting the tree back to boundary and that I would be reinstating the fence.

It's kind of you to offer to move the tree but you really don't need to. I might have offered to do the same but it would depend on the neighbour and whether I think it would help.

Make sure you take lots of photos before you do any work. Also, i it's at all possible I'd get her to confirm she is happy with the position of the new fence panels - it shouldn't be a problem as there are exsisting fences panels.

I don't understand everyone saying the tree will look ugly cut in half as your half will be obscured by the new fence.

An earlier poster suggested that it was a 'slow growing' evergreen but I don't know how they can tell from the photos.

It's such a gorgeous tree I really do think you'll ruin the aesthetic of both gardens by "trimming it" (virtually chopping it in half) and putting a fence in it.

The tree will die.

But, hey ho. Who the fuck cares as long as you're happy

I seriously do not understand some people's logic on this thread

The OP wants privacy and her garden securely fenced FGS! There is NOTHING wrong with that and she is perfectly within her rights to reinstate the fence panels.

Just one question though OP - is it your boundary fence? If not, I think you may have to put up a new fence line inside the boundary...

This in itself wouldn't be a bad thing, imo. Don't, whatever you do fence 'round' the tree, creating a curved boundary; this would look really shabby!

Thanks Lions
*
Krustykittens* yes when we went to view the house she said to us she would be vetting with the estate agents who moves in...the previous owners children live abroad so left everything up to the estate agent...we just thought aww she doesn't want anyone party mad, loud music etc the estate agent looked abit when she was asking us all these questions but we just took it as her being concerned...we love our house so much and it's the area we wanted as the houses in this area go fast...good schools, park, great access to everywhere in less than 15 mins couldn't ask for more.

I admit I am a little surprised with some of the answers on here but hey ho we did want advice/opinions and expected it from both sides of the coin.

Again thanks all for the replies.

OP, YANBU. It's a fairly scabby and over-large conifer.

Just a suggestion here:

Perhaps you only need to hack back the conifer to the height of the fence. That way it will look fine on your side. The existing fence on the boundary means the trunk must be totally on your neighbour's side.

I reckon the posters that have given you a hard time are conifer enthusiasts. I think they're hideous in a garden. I also think people get to decide what the hell they want to have in their garden, irrespective of what I or others think.

Tell her you're getting a bad tempered Rottweiler and need to make your garden secure so it doesn't eat her.

It's a lego tree. In a stupid place. It could be shaped into something. Peacock?

YANBU at all. It's a hideous tree. I think we can see why the previous owners sold up.

Hopefully the tree surgeon will be able to reason with them however, you can't reason with batshit, which they sound like they are.

Good luck

Whose fence is it?

if its in her garden but overhangs in to yours you have the right to cut it but you must give them the bits you have cut. i only know this due to my neighbours having a tree over hanging in to mine. and i had to speak to the council, citizens advice etc about the problems i have been having with my neighbour so double checked with them and the confirmed it

Yanbu.

Cut it in half and put your fence back up.

Really don't understan the people having a go, it's a ugly crappy conifer not a beautiful ancient tree. Conifers look shit in small gardens.

YANBU OP. It looks stupid, she should never have planned to grow that tree there, it was clearly across your boundary line. Those fuckers grow fast anyway, it's not like it's been there for decades.

I bet your neighbour would be the first to complain when your dog gets into her garden because you've not been able to put a fence in.

Offer to buy her a new tree?

I'm with you OP, I'd want my garden secure. Whoever put that conifer there was on glue.

Also, she won't see a difference from her side anyway. She will see the front of the tree and a fence panel behind. And if you're getting a proper tree surgeon to do it then I'm assuming they will take care not to kill it off while they do it.

Our neighbour had some of our overhanging trees cut; we inherited from previous owners and couldn't afford a tree surgeon straight away, trees were overhanging his garage causing a damp problem so he said he wanted them cut and would it be ok if he did it. We agreed (can't say no anyway as overhanging his land and he was paying for it so why would we disagree?) so their tree surgeon just cut the trees in a straight line vertically along the boundary.

Hold firm on replacing the boundary line. Boundary issues are frequent and expensive. I cannot believe that people are suggesting fencing around it, this will muddy the boundary for years to come.

This advice in no way comes from someone who thinks it is a manky old conifer tree and the world would be a better place without it😉

YANBU. I understand you'd want proper fencing (so would I) and as a keen gardener I also understand how attached many of us can get to certain plants in our gardens. My first impressions were that it looks lovely and what a nice idea to "share" a tree. Then I thought that I'd definitely want my boundary fenced and the tree's in the way. Also that I'm not much of a fan of non-native conifers. I suppose there's a number of things you could do...

1. cut it back vertically to your fence line. When you put your fence panel in you won't see how awful it looks being cut in half. If done carefully it could still look nice from her side and not kill the tree.

1. you offer to have it professionally moved and replanted somewhere else in her garden. I'm just thinking good neighbourly relations here.

1. it's removed entirely and you buy her another tree or shrub as a peace offering.

I'm with you RE trying to keep on her good side even if what you propose is entirely sensible and legal. You've only got to read some of the threads on here to know how awful it is to fall out with NDS.

I would remove that mini fence of hers and write to her outlining my plans to erect a fence in 20 working days, if she wishes to relocate the tree to within her boundary during that time you will grant her reasonable access, otherwise it will be cut back to the boundary on this date, yours sincerely etc

Just one question though OP - is it your boundary fence? If not, I think you may have to put up a new fence line inside the boundary

This in itself wouldn't be a bad thing, imo.

I disagree. I think it's a bad idea. If you put up another fence then what's to stop her removing the other fence and claiming the 'extra' few investors. It's much simpler to keep existing boundru markers such as fences or ditches where they are. You may not care to lose a few inches of land but if you sell the house in the future potential owners could notice an oddly placed fence.