To tell my neighbours their bonkers?

[Sparklyshoes16]

We've bought a house and absolutely love it and spending a lot of time and effort doing it up on the inside...as the weather is good we've decided to turn our attention to the garden and start clearing the jungle of overgrown bushes etc...as soon as we bought it we spoke to the neighbours and made it clear that we would be putting new fences up (matching the existing ones as our neighbour had taken out some panels) and getting the tree chopped back...the tree root is near the boundary but on their side...we had some people come round to give us a quote on how much to get the tree chopped back and to clear the garden etc our neighbour decided to come out and give them what for telling them it's a friendship tree and no one will be touching it as she hangs xmas tree lights up on it (there was non this Xmas just gone). I didn't actually know what to say so just smiled and said erm well no we discussed this and you agreed to have it chopped back and cut down a little and then ushered the garden people away from the mad woman...we know we have no legal standing on her cutting some of it down but according to her we can't make her cut it back either? We've checked the deeds over incased we'd missed something (we had already done that before we purchased) AIBU to tell her she's bonkers and to mind her own business? We've had no problems so far and always gone round to apologise for any builders noise but she has completely flipped on this...any advice?

Conifers are boring, and that is a particularly ugly specimen. I'd do something about it now. It won't always be little and once she learns that getting shrill stops you doing things, she'll get shrill every five minutes.

Theyre**

Give her the opportunity to move it. . Or chop back and put a panel on the boundary line.

Before she wants access to your garden to put the chocolate decorations /lights /stockings on at Xmas. .
Then bunting /chocolate eggs /chocs at Easter.

You are entitled to own and contain your own garden.

Why do you want to clear such a beautiful garden and tree?

What a boring looking glorified shrub. Cut back what you need to in terms of the fence and let the top of it wander over the top of your fence if you can tolerate such a thing.

But your garden is yours. Dont let someone else dictate how you set it out and use it.

Theyre* *

If you're going to be the type who pulls an OP up on their grammar/spelling, at least have the courtesy to get the correction right.

Don't cut it in half, it will look rubbish

She can't stop you doing it but I think you should reconsider. Plants are nice things and you are making this one a bone of contention

Friendship tree? What a load of crap!! She's either bonkers or that's her way of saying touch my tree and we're not friends

Her tree crosses onto your property and it looks like there's no fence panel because of that? I'd be doing the same as you - sorry NDN, it's a pretty tree but I want a securely fenced garden so bits over the boundary would be cut off and a fence panel put up

I'd cut it up to fence height back to the boundary to allow the fence to be built. I never understand why people plant things so close their boundaries. Most plants from the garden centre state the expected spread, so half it, add a bit and plant it that far away from your fence. It's not difficult.

Maybe the OP needs to have her garden fully fenced. If she cuts the tree to her boundary and puts a fence panel in, then you wont see any bare branches on her side.

I'm sure the gardeners if they are carefull can out some panels in and not hack to much of the tree

I would just leave it as well. What you're proposing will look shit!

Don't tell hers she's bonkers. That would be undiplomatic

Just cut the bit you need to and put your fence in. The top should still look like a 'tree'

I am not sure what is wrong with the tree - it doesn't look too tall, and it is an attractive enough shape.

Also, as others have said, as the tree is planted in her garden, it is her tree, and you only have the right to cut back what overhangs your garden - and doing that would make the tree look utterly ridiculous, IMO.

I agree with pp. The tree is neat, well shaped and not overly large, it doesn't have much impact on your garden. You can't force your neighbour to cut her tree down and if you cut it back to the boundary line you will leave her with half a tree and all the ugly dead bit will face into your garden. Long term your best bet will be to embrace the tree, keep your side well trimmed, enjoy decorating it at Christmas and remaking on good terms with your neighbour.

It looks ridiculous on the boundary like that! You have two choices; remove the fence and plant similar trees for a hedge or remove/ cut back tree and put a fence in. It does look silly atm yanbu.

Bonkers neighbour, friendship tree.

Surely someone else sees the irony?

I'm assuming it's a tree to symbolise the friendship between the neighbours and that's why it's planted the way it is?

YANBU - I can, kind of, understand why she'd be a bit sad if she likes the tree that much but you don't have to tolerate it just to make her happy.

Why can't you just leave it?

Yeah what others have said. It'll look well shit if you do what you're proposing.

You can fence around trees without damaging them.
uk.pinterest.com/pin/504121752011651391/

Why would you ruin her tree?
I'd be pissed if I heard someone in next doors garden discussing cutting my tree down

I don't think it will be easy to cut that tree back enough to put your fence in. It looks like the trunk itself comes in to your garden. I think it needs to be all or nothing really.

She might want it contained because of pets or potential pets. Even if you aren't planning to get a pet it might be a good reason to give to the neighbour because it is hard to argue with. I would see though if they can (at your expense) move it further into their garden.

Apple

I agree. So the best solution is to fence round it, as it effectively straddles the boundary