To tell my neighbours their bonkers?

[Sparklyshoes16]

We've bought a house and absolutely love it and spending a lot of time and effort doing it up on the inside...as the weather is good we've decided to turn our attention to the garden and start clearing the jungle of overgrown bushes etc...as soon as we bought it we spoke to the neighbours and made it clear that we would be putting new fences up (matching the existing ones as our neighbour had taken out some panels) and getting the tree chopped back...the tree root is near the boundary but on their side...we had some people come round to give us a quote on how much to get the tree chopped back and to clear the garden etc our neighbour decided to come out and give them what for telling them it's a friendship tree and no one will be touching it as she hangs xmas tree lights up on it (there was non this Xmas just gone). I didn't actually know what to say so just smiled and said erm well no we discussed this and you agreed to have it chopped back and cut down a little and then ushered the garden people away from the mad woman...we know we have no legal standing on her cutting some of it down but according to her we can't make her cut it back either? We've checked the deeds over incased we'd missed something (we had already done that before we purchased) AIBU to tell her she's bonkers and to mind her own business? We've had no problems so far and always gone round to apologise for any builders noise but she has completely flipped on this...any advice?

It is not a very attractive tree.

But it will look even worse if you do what you're proposing OP.

I don't get the responses you've had. You are perfectly entitled to cut it back to the fence line. Nobody else's business.

Carry on!

What do you have against that poor lovely tree? My advice would be to wind your neck in and forget about your dislike of said tree. You have to live next to these (perfectly reasonable sounding) people and you should try and get on with people and make allowances.

Who plants a tree half way between 2 gardens anyway? She and her last neighbour must have been very good friends indeed (casts aspersions)

You can trim the branches on your side but not the height nor can you make her to

You're redoing your garden anyway. I'd say it's time to borrow a dog. An enthusiastic digger/barker/pooper who can get into her garden.

if it was me, I think I would put fence posts either side, a measured distance so that a panel could be slotted in if/when the tree dies or the neighbour annoyed me. I prefer concrete posts as they last better. And I would put at least a gravel board in at ground level, trimming away any twigs on my side of the boundary. You can, if you wish, paint concrete posts and gravel boards with Bitter Chocolate masonry paint, to help them blend in.

If I wanted to keep animals and burglars out, I would lace galvanised steel wire between the posts in a lattice, threading them between the branches.

If the neighbour annoyed me, I would also prune the tree on my side of the boundary, a bit at a time, using secateurs.

my neighbour had a lot of Leylandii along the border. I think they have all died or blown over now. Some of them uprooted bits of my fence when they went. I pruned them to the boundary from the start.

Sprinkleandicecream that's exactly the reason...no malice intended at all!! We just want to put the fence back up (we are going to go the sane place they got the fencing and get the same style so not to upset them) and enjoy our garden!!

There is also a small wire fencing thing which is theirs in our garden...looks like we'll have to get a tree surgeon in to see what can be done we're willing to pay for it to be moved and planted elsewhere if it doesn't kill it. We didn't want to cut it in half just shape it so set back enough to put the fence up.

That's one suburban ugly mother of a tree. It's soo Hyacinth B too.
Surreptitiously, spray it with some systemic weed killer once a week or according to box instructions. It'll be deadski by the winter and looking like a brown dried-out perpendicular tumbleweed. Then you will all agree that it has to come out.

It's a hideous tree. I would want it out too, they are very nutrient greedy, somruin the soil around them too

Think it would look very odd if it were shaped and assume the roots are well away from it by now so would be hard to actually move (my mum's small conifers on patio ended up breaking up the patio around 6 feet away from the actual bush itself) .... whatever you do, I don't think your neighbour will be chuffed about it, but do understand you need fencing to complete your garden. If you had a dog or little children they would be able to get out through the gap around it

I don't understand at all. The tree is replacing the fence in the line so it's not like there is a gap. Trimming it right back will look weird. It's within your flower beds so looks like it belongs there.

How would trimming it and putting a fence up help you to enjoy your garden? Genuine question, because like I say it looks like it won't make much difference view or access wise!

You will have to cut it back quite a bit tho and conifers look absolutely awful with one side all brown/dead and scrappy. Someone across the road did this and it was a bloody eyesore for 10 years until they finally accepted it looked crap and pulled it out!

That is a beautiful slow-growing conifer and is an absolutely lovely shape. Hacking back half of it to the boundary would be a rotten thing to do, would spoil it completely and could quite possibly kill it. No wonder the neighbour is upset.

It really isn't in the way of anything, and I'd much rather look at a nice tree than a blank fence any day.

You have every right to chop the tree at your side. It shouldnt be where it is. The only thing is, if you cannot agree amicably about it, you could end up having nightmare neighbours. Its a balance.It is worth falling out over? Could you work it out? It is incredibly stressfull falling out with neighbours.

You could cut it back a bit and get it shaped and just keep it there. Could you transplant it?

I think its a beautiful tree [ too big to transplant i reckon on looking at the picture]

It's a non-native species and should be cut down.

You can replace it with something native, in a better position.

I thought this was going to be a mahoosive tree casting shadow across the whole area.... this on the other hand, is a nice, small, well shaped tree. I'd leave well alone.

your garden is your property. Could you trim the tree so the fence could go right next to it and you wouldn't see the cut part of the tree?

I meant to add in that if you have a dog then you would need the garden enclosed. Another aspect was that if you keep her fencing - the wire fence in the photo on your land does it mean that it's a boundary that she has established? You could lose this land in the years set for land ownership

People saying she will have to look at the ugly inside of the tree, well she won't as there will be a fence hiding it :)

Could you plant a large shrub in front of it so that it softens it a bit? Something like a purple smoke bush would look great against it.

No way would i leave my garden missing a fence panel for a neighbours tree, especially if i told them i'd want to put the fence back up if i bought the house and they agreed we could do that before i'd even bought it!

Get your fence put in OP, if the tree ends up looking shit you won't see it because the fence is in the way, it's neighbours own fault for planting it there. Even if previous owner of your home agreed to it, they surely knew they might not live there forever, someone would disagree with the tree somewhere down the line.

This is nothing! I've seen a nice house with a HUGE (6m+) big green fern thing planted right on the border and blocking out the view of the valleys. I had a quick look at the law regarding this: (not a solicitor)

you have the right to trim whatever's on your side (branches and leaves), however you must give the cuttings back to them (they own them). Do not throw them over the fence as this could constitue fly tipping. I'd be tempted to just leave the cuttings outside their front door and knock. You can - if you wish - offer to remove the cuttings for them, but you must ask their permission.

As it's so close to the border, I think cutting what's down on your side would... encourage... them to cut the tree down - who'd want half a tree in their garden? You can't make them cut what's on their side, but likewise, they can't stop you from what's overhanging into your boundary.

I decided not to look at this house with a huge tree as it showed unreasonable neighbours IMO.

Good luck!