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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my neighbours their bonkers?

343 replies

Sparklyshoes16 · 04/07/2017 18:27

We've bought a house and absolutely love it and spending a lot of time and effort doing it up on the inside...as the weather is good we've decided to turn our attention to the garden and start clearing the jungle of overgrown bushes etc...as soon as we bought it we spoke to the neighbours and made it clear that we would be putting new fences up (matching the existing ones as our neighbour had taken out some panels) and getting the tree chopped back...the tree root is near the boundary but on their side...we had some people come round to give us a quote on how much to get the tree chopped back and to clear the garden etc our neighbour decided to come out and give them what for telling them it's a friendship tree and no one will be touching it as she hangs xmas tree lights up on it (there was non this Xmas just gone). I didn't actually know what to say so just smiled and said erm well no we discussed this and you agreed to have it chopped back and cut down a little and then ushered the garden people away from the mad woman...we know we have no legal standing on her cutting some of it down but according to her we can't make her cut it back either? We've checked the deeds over incased we'd missed something (we had already done that before we purchased) AIBU to tell her she's bonkers and to mind her own business? We've had no problems so far and always gone round to apologise for any builders noise but she has completely flipped on this...any advice?

To tell my neighbours their bonkers?
To tell my neighbours their bonkers?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
ljny · 08/07/2017 14:30

For those saying it's more important to get on with the neighbours, sounds like that ship has sailed. This battleaxe will just find something else to fall out over.
when we came to the view house she was asking all sorts of questions and she would have her say on who the house would be sold to...

BeyondDrinksAndKnowsThings · 08/07/2017 14:34

Doesn't having your garden enclosed also have an impact on house insurance? I know it's a question on mine.
Not that you need more reasons, just one you might not have thought of Grin

Cantspell2 · 08/07/2017 14:38

You need to act now before it gets any bigger and completely blocks light from what could be a lovely garden. You know she is not going to be happy no matter what you do, so just do as you wish as she should never have planted that thing there in the first place. Check on deeds and remove every bit that is on your property. The roots of these things are quite shallow so if it turns out that it is all on your property it will be easy to remove. If it does straddle the border you could remove the roots on your side as you won't want it sucking all the goodness from your soil.

Incitatis · 08/07/2017 14:44

Tell her you're getting a dog and as part of the pet insurance, you absolutely have to have an enclosed garden. If the dog escapes and happens to attack her someone, you'll be liable.

Sparklyshoes16 · 08/07/2017 16:03

Beyonddrinksandknowsthings funny you should say that we were looking at that this morning and in the tiniest microscopic writing possible it says about having a secure and enclosed garden.

OP posts:
Sparklyshoes16 · 08/07/2017 16:10

Cantspell2 spoke to our solicitor late Fri she's getting back to us in regards to boundary etc in meantime my dad and husband have resumed clearing other parts of garden. So we can get clearer pictures of exactly where the roots lie etc and the overhanging branches as advised to by our solicitor.

OP posts:
ohmywhatamisaying · 08/07/2017 20:35

Pump salted weedkiller directly into the roots and wait

/evil

HunkyDory69 · 13/07/2017 07:59

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Rossigigi · 13/07/2017 08:35

Leave the tree it looks lovely!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 13/07/2017 08:48

Rossigigi - have you read the thread? This tree is straddling the boundary line between these two properties. The OP wants to secure their back garden and can't due to this tree.
What are you suggesting that the OP does to secure their back garden if they take your advice and "leave the tree"???

lottieandmia · 13/07/2017 10:13

YANBU at all - wanting a completely enclosed garden and fencing up is your right. But what an awkward situation - this neighbour sounds really awkward. She needs to accept that if she wants the tree as it is then it needs to be completely in her garden.

Sparklyshoes16 · 13/07/2017 22:42

Had a mini response from solicitor... finally established that the previous owners went halves with ndn on the fence and then previous owner's installed it with ndn's son...decided to just have our own fence the length of the garden and leave her to hers...she has made it very clear it's her fence...so going to choose our own design and quality...Had the guy come round for the tree (ndn came out trying to tell him what to do, he made it very clear that she is not his employer and will be listening to us this was after she tried shouting myself and the tree surgeon down) was very straight forward...overhanging bits can be cut back what's on our side...yes it would be brown but it would grow back then green leaves after some time...we won't be seeing it, as a fence will be in place to hide our view and hers as she will have the side that has green leaves etc. Thanks for all the replies.

OP posts:
DesperatelySeekingSushi · 13/07/2017 23:48

Fair enough. But who owns the boundary?
Are you putting a fence behind her fence (when it is already overstepping the boundary?)
Or are you removing it, returning the panels to her, telling her to tell her son to stick them where they actually ought to be and putting your own up where the fence currently is?
Have you returned that awful green wiring to her yet?

DesperatelySeekingSushi · 13/07/2017 23:50

Sorry. Too invested, eh?! What did tree surgeon say about likelihood of the half conifer regrowing and pushing your new fence panel down, poking through or deforming it?

KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth · 14/07/2017 00:39

Very interesting update. So what about the part where you thought you might have to do the fence at an angle because of the way it had been rearranged?

Sparklyshoes16 · 14/07/2017 06:41

Desperatelyseekingsushi apparently no one actually owns a boundary it's just there to separate the properties and mark out where gardens/fences should be (nothing should be 'on' the boundary though things should be either side of it) it's very complicated and would cost the earth to sort out doing it to nearest inch...she is over... but the amount of figures it would cost is just silly to sort...we'd rather spend it on getting the garden looking how we really want it.

If we start removing the panels she can claim for damages from us etc If the tree/roots starts protruding onto our fence and starts moving it/damaging it then she is liable for damage to our fence...we'll just go round and ask her to trim it back as our solicitor is going to make it very clear how much it could amount to if the tree does damage anything on our side...roots can be a problem but again within our legal rights to remove any roots if they start to damage our side.

Again we've offered to pay to have it moved to somewhere else in her garden but she turned round and said "it's too big" Hmm then started trying to shout the tree surgeon down when he said ok well this is what can be done and explained how he was going to cut stuff in a certain way so it could grow back green after a certain time...he gave up after a few mins and looked at us Confused and then told her firmly she is not paying him and will only be listening to instructions from us.

OP posts:
Sparklyshoes16 · 14/07/2017 06:43

Keiraknightlyactswithherteeth not sure what you mean but the fence will be going straight down the line from end to end as advised to by our solicitor...no going round the tree or any angles.

OP posts:
Horsemad · 14/07/2017 07:04

At least your tree surgeon sounds like he'll take no crap from her OP!

Crack on and update when it's done Grin

DesperatelySeekingSushi · 14/07/2017 07:57

No one owns a boundary, no, but one person is usually named as responsible for fencing it.
So you're presumably putting a fence behind "her" fence?
I guess it's worth the loss of a few cm to have privacy.
A past poster hated that fence anyway. Can you go taller or is the existing fence already max height?

verystressedmum · 14/07/2017 08:09

Your neighbour is bonkers. You've been more than willing to accommodate the bloody tree but it needs to be cut back and the fence panels put back.
It doesn't matter what she says it won't make a difference to what your entitled to do.

The tree looks ok in the photos taken from what I presume is the upstairs bedroom window, i.e. far away from above, but from the ground in the garden it doesn't look good at all.
And what's that's wire fence thing doing there?? Confused

But just wondering, if you cut it back won't it grow again? And the new fence panel in front of it will be pushed back if it grows out again?

lottieandmia · 14/07/2017 09:54

The problem with conifers is that they can grow and grow to more than twice the height of a house (my parents are struggling with some in their garden which they want gone and the cost to remove them is astronomical)

How can any neighbour reasonably think that they can dictate what someone else does with their own garden?? The mind boggles.

Sparklyshoes16 · 15/07/2017 10:14

Desperatelyseekingsushi that's exactly what we're doing...it's just easier...we haven't got any more energy for her battleaxe ways. We will be putting a slightly taller fence in to stop her peeping over (she doesn't talk to us...just has a nosey)...every time we're in the garden.

Verystressedmum yes it was taken from upstairs window think I've got a pic from ground level it's just this massive thing halfway onto our garden...the fence thing which is also going back to her as she owns...it was to fence off the flowers she'd planted around the base of the tree it was put there once the house was empty for her to mark off what 'she owns' this was what she told us on moving in day!! 😳 yes the tree will grow again but our solicitor is going to make it very clear of the costs she will incur if it damages our fence or causes damage including paying my solicitors fees.

Lottieandmia it's completely boggled us too...the other neighbour has been totally fine about fencing...garden etc we've sat down with then and had a chat about the style of fence, height etc and even one of the bushes removed (his suggestion) going halves on the cost of the removal etc...just don't get how something that's benefiting everyone can be so difficult...i.e. making the garden secure, no dogs getting through and pooping on her garden etc

To tell my neighbours their bonkers?
OP posts:
TefalTester123 · 15/07/2017 10:45

In the context that it's in that really is an ugly tree!

Blahblahy · 15/07/2017 12:38

I didn't realise she'd put the fence in when the house was empty!

Imagine if we all just started planting large and quick growing shrubs in someone else's garden and then being all "oh now I'll fence this bit as it's mine." 😂😂😂

You could eek out the whole terrace as yours pretty quickly. Mad woman!!

DesperatelySeekingSushi · 15/07/2017 12:41

What the what? So will you dig up her base flowers or have you told her straight she had no right to plant them on your property
You know she is why past owners moved, right?! Wink
Good luck and enjoy your new private garden. she will get a ladder and pop her head over when you have a barbie, mark my words

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