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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be horrified by people in changing rooms?

318 replies

Smarshian · 03/07/2017 19:27

I went on a lovely spa day today with a friend as my first day away from my 6 month old dd.
While getting changed for lunch a woman came out of the showers and stood around for about 5 minutes having a chat/getting in my way - right next to me completely starkers! I was getting changed under a towel and my locker was there and the bench the other side of me so I couldn't move without being really awkward as I was obviously using that space.
I wouldn't mind her just getting changed but she didn't, she had a towel round her head and her full bush and boobs out, she wasn't even facing the lockers, it was like she was just parading in my face.
I've no issue with nakedness in changing rooms while getting changed but don't just stand around naked making me feel awkward!
Aibu?

OP posts:

Fresh8008 · 03/07/2017 20:34

If us Mums cant be comfortable with our own bodies, how can we expect men to be?

I have several friends that like a good natter before we get dressed, whats the biggy?

Spa, gossip in changing rooms, then get dressed and back to reality. Is that not what spa are for?

nina2b · 03/07/2017 20:38

Today 19:29 lemonsandlimes123

YABU - you are the unreasonable one for getting changed under a towel! It's a changing room, she was changing, get over it!

Erm...the point is, surely, that she was not changing, merely standing around in full view of others, who might have been feeling nauseous, and invading the OP's personal space. Weird person.

CheesesOfNazereth · 03/07/2017 20:39

It's YOUR problem OP, your issue. You're a prude and you were uncomfortable.
But since the rest of us don't exist to make you comfortable, that's just tough shit.

NotInMyBackYard1 · 03/07/2017 20:40

why would others be feeling nauseous in the changing room Nina? Does entering changing rooms bring on some weird sickness for you? something akin to travel sickness?

nina2b · 03/07/2017 20:43

Well, others might have felt a bit nauseous at the sight of the woman who was in full display mode. Somebody up-thread asked if she was older and I wonder that too.

LucieLucie · 03/07/2017 20:44

It's YOUR problem OP, your issue. You're a prude and you were uncomfortable.
But since the rest of us don't exist to make you comfortable, that's just tough shit.

My god proof indeed that MN is full of people who can't read and absorb the whole story.

For information, it's rude to invade other people's space...especially needlessly when naked.

It's odd behaviour and to be perfectly frank, if the naked space invader was a male he'd be suspected of inappropriate sexual behaviour.

VestalVirgin · 03/07/2017 20:44

YABU, you can't ban someone from being naked in a changing room, and you also can't make rules on how long one is allowed to be naked.

Some people are obviously much more comfortable being naked in front of others than you. Yes, that can be a bit unsettling, but it is a changing room. One can expect that being naked will be okay there.

Just look away. I suppose that's doable even with limited space.

(But that's exactly why I am very much against males in women's changing rooms. The people who claim you could ask the male to leave if he behaves inappropriately forget that opinions differ on what is appropriate and what isn't.)

nina2b · 03/07/2017 20:45

GandolfBold

We have people in our gym that dry their pubic hair with the hairdryers!

Ugh. Double the offence.

Original poster

Smarshian · 03/07/2017 20:45

Ok so maybe I could have asked her not to stand in my personal space but a lot of the time I think I don't want to confront a stranger in public as I don't know how they would react. It would have been v awkward for me to move as I would have had to gather all my belongings, ask her to let me past, walk away half dressed and wrapped in a towel and finish getting dressed on the other side of the changing room. Instead I think others should perhaps consider other people and not stand naked over them as a standard.
Sorry if that means I need to seek professional help for my unnatural reaction to the female body

OP posts:

EmGee · 03/07/2017 20:46

Oh FGS. OP hasn't got a problem with people standing in the changing room, or wandering about in the nude. This particular woman was right in the OP's personal space and preventing her from getting changed/moving to her locker.

OP - I'm with you on this one. I don't give a hoot if people change in a cubicle, under a towel or in sight of everyone else. Who cares? Each to their own. But leave me be in my own personal space!

BuzzKillington · 03/07/2017 20:46

All a bit silly. I am happy to rub in lotion, wait for it to sink in etc whilst, shockers, naked.

I think it's pretty sad to be uncomfortable around nakedness.

brasty · 03/07/2017 20:46

Honestly, the British are weird about nudity

EmGee · 03/07/2017 20:46

Sorry x-posted with a few posters saying the same thing!

nina2b · 03/07/2017 20:47

Today 20:44 LucieLucie

It's YOUR problem OP, your issue. You're a prude and you were uncomfortable.
But since the rest of us don't exist to make you comfortable, that's just tough shit.

My god proof indeed that MN is full of people who can't read and absorb the whole story.

For information, it's rude to invade other people's space...especially needlessly when naked.

It's odd behaviour and to be perfectly frank, if the naked space invader was a male he'd be suspected of inappropriate sexual behaviour.

Yep.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 03/07/2017 20:48

But since the rest of us don't exist to make you comfortable, that's just tough shit.

Do men get to say that to women? Or is it just women who get to ride roughshod over other women's personal space/boundaries?

VestalVirgin · 03/07/2017 20:51

It's odd behaviour and to be perfectly frank, if the naked space invader was a male he'd be suspected of inappropriate sexual behaviour.

Yes, sadly.
In times gone by, when males weren't allowed in women's spaces simply because they "felt like women", people would not have suspected a naked male space invader in the women's changing rooms of inappropriate sexual behaviour, they would have accused him of it and thrown him out.

We weren't there, therefore it is hard to know whether OP is being unreasonable or whether that other woman actually stood closer to her than she needed to.

OP, did she chat to you, or someone else? I cannot exactly imagine how she'd invade your space while chatting to someone else.

You know, perhaps next time when you complain about naked people, don't explain that you usually change under a towel. That makes people suspect you are, in fact, prudish.

nina2b · 03/07/2017 20:52

Today 20:48 VeryButchyRestingFace

But since the rest of us don't exist to make you comfortable, that's just tough shit.

Do men get to say that to women? Or is it just women who get to ride roughshod over other women's personal space/boundaries? confused

Do MEN get to say that!? No way!!

Double standards abound...

Crumbs1 · 03/07/2017 20:53

This has made me laugh. Luckily I'm too old and there's too much belly for me to know whether anything is 'hanging down'. How can anyone remain so prudish and uncomfortable with their bodies when they've given birth?

The issue isn't standing too close - if it were, there'd be no need to mention nakedness and her NOT CHANGING. If she wasn't changing, had she arrived naked? Was she going home naked.
Sad that so many are so uncomfortable with normal bodies. It's not only us oldies that have lost our inhibitions- plenty of body confident young women and young men. Their confidence usually comes from parents who role model acceptance of the human form in all it's guises.

Notonthestairs · 03/07/2017 20:53

Op would you have asked to move over if she had been dressed? I'm sorry I'm not getting the problem (and I dress at lightening speed in changing rooms) if some one is in my way I just ask them to move.

nina2b · 03/07/2017 20:54

Why shouldn't the OP get changed under a towel? It is her CHOICE.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 03/07/2017 20:55

Do MEN get to say that!? No way!!

Should have typed "should men get to say that?"

We all know they do say it.

nina2b · 03/07/2017 20:57

Look, only the person who feels their space has been invaded can tell you how she felt. You cannot judge on her behalf.

Everyone is different and you lot cannot dictate to anyone about why they should not have felt uncomfortable.

Jeez

nina2b · 03/07/2017 20:57

...to anyone why...

user1471545174 · 03/07/2017 20:59

YANBU, it's so look at me.

PurplePeppers · 03/07/2017 21:05

Confront?
No one asked you to confront her, which suppose a quite aggressive way of doing things.
Just to talk to her in a polite way. And she would have moved because most people are polite and would do so, naked or not.

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