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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be horrified by people in changing rooms?

318 replies

Smarshian · 03/07/2017 19:27

I went on a lovely spa day today with a friend as my first day away from my 6 month old dd.
While getting changed for lunch a woman came out of the showers and stood around for about 5 minutes having a chat/getting in my way - right next to me completely starkers! I was getting changed under a towel and my locker was there and the bench the other side of me so I couldn't move without being really awkward as I was obviously using that space.
I wouldn't mind her just getting changed but she didn't, she had a towel round her head and her full bush and boobs out, she wasn't even facing the lockers, it was like she was just parading in my face.
I've no issue with nakedness in changing rooms while getting changed but don't just stand around naked making me feel awkward!
Aibu?

OP posts:
nina2b · 04/07/2017 14:41

it would never have occurred to me that anyone would find it offensive or inconsiderate.

Well now you know.

SeaEagleFeather · 04/07/2017 14:49

Well regarding the Netherlands I suspect that there are places with joint changing rooms and with single.

In our swimming baths some people turn away or use a towel but there isn't the sense of awkwardness that there is / was in the UK .. as this thread shows.

I do wonder what Muslim people do, if they just don't go swimming.

leedy · 04/07/2017 15:08

"Well now you know"

So am I supposed to change the habit of a lifetime and start cowering under a towel, despite the fact that the changing room is full of equally terrible paraders, flaunters, shameless exhibitionists etc. because God forbid another woman should be upset by the existence of my tits and I should be conscious of my need to protect her from them?

leedy · 04/07/2017 15:13

"I do wonder what Muslim people do, if they just don't go swimming."

I'm not Muslim and my experience is only of one particular Muslim culture, but from visiting Morocco (where I have relatives), the women's hammam is often quite nudie, or at least topless. Certainly there there's no prohibition against being uncovered in all-women environments.

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 04/07/2017 16:30

" I do not know if she left naked but she certainly entered that way from the showers "

Aah, now I understand the problem.

Personally I always wear an evening gown and tiara when transitioning from shower to changing room. It's just so much more classy dahlink.

When I was younger (fitter, more toned, no stretch marks, tight bum, perkier boobs) I'd also do the cotton straightjacket routine trying to change under a towel.

Then I got into a sport that meant I had to use not only communal changing rooms but communal showers. After a few sessions waiting for everyone to leave before revealing my nakedness I realised I was missing out on valuable bonding time in the bar next door. After that I whipped off everything the moment I was in the changing rooms and was happy to share the showers with whoever jumped in first.

Life's too short to worry about other people's full bushes and boobs.

nooka · 04/07/2017 17:03

The OP wasn't at a gym full of people exercising, showering and getting back to whatever they were doing ASAP. She was at a spa, somewhere people go with friends to relax. The woman who came out of the shower and chatted with her friend was obviously not in a hurry. As the complaint was that she was standing too close to the OP she obviously wasn't 'parading' and if you are going to flaunt or exhibit your body a woman's changing room at a spa is a fairly odd place to do that as it's one of the few places where nakedness is normal.

As the OP didn't say that there was any sort of confrontation when she did leave, getting past the naked woman was obviously not that big a deal so it seems a little unlikely that she was truly boxed in. She apparently just doesn't like naked women especially if they are close to her and has an issue with someone not having the same attitude. Perhaps this spa is not for her?

BritInUS1 · 04/07/2017 17:10

YABU ! It's a changing room, there will be naked people x

allegretto · 04/07/2017 17:11

These women, standing there, with their varicose veins and cellulite, were a revelation.

True! I find as far as changing rooms are concerned, the more I get naked and see others naked, the fewer hang ups I have.

KimmySchmidt1 · 04/07/2017 17:12

YANBU - personal space is personal space, and its even more important when people are changing/naked.

Was she very thin? Very thin women who are super proud of their bodies often linger nude in changing rooms to try to make everyone else feel depressed, because they are starving and its the only thing that makes it all worth it.

Makes me want to flash around my bank balance and Oxford degree certificate - but no, that would be weird, wouldnt it!

toffeeboffin · 04/07/2017 17:52

Full bush Grin

God I need to grow up.

lemonzest123 · 04/07/2017 19:14

Was she very thin? Very thin women who are super proud of their bodies often linger nude in changing rooms to try to make everyone else feel depressed, because they are starving and its the only thing that makes it all worth it

Very mean women often make sweeping generalisations about other women's body image.

Also getting changed as a teen when you're stick thin and the only person with no boobs is excruciating.

Original poster
Smarshian · 04/07/2017 19:25

She was just an average looking woman. Not overly thin/toned/fat/old/young/attractive. I have no issue with her body particularly, it would have made me feel no more or less uncomfortable if she was more or less attractive, I just wanted it not to be in close proximity to me for a long period of time unclothed

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 04/07/2017 19:26

Was she very thin? Very thin women who are super proud of their bodies often linger nude in changing rooms to try to make everyone else feel depressed, because they are starving and its the only thing that makes it all worth it.

And if she's very fat,would she be flaunting that fatness,all "ohh look at me i have money to buy all this food" and make poorer people feel depressed?

MaisyPops · 04/07/2017 20:10

Was she very thin? Very thin women who are super proud of their bodies often linger nude in changing rooms to try to make everyone else feel depressed, because they are starving and its the only thing that makes it all worth it
Wow. Chip on shoulder much?

Also love the (ridiculous) assumption that slim women are starving and don't eat. Grin If that makes you feel better about yourself, great. But all my slimmer friends who I exercise with eat shit loads of food, me included.

diodati · 04/07/2017 20:42

OP, did you find her proximity sexually disturbing? Maybe that's the difficulty you're experiencing.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 04/07/2017 21:00

Pet hate of mine is when someone naked apart from head towel and flip flops puts a leg up on bench and bends over to moisturise
That's disgraceful...no way should people be putting their shoes on seating!

And Fwiw I've had three vaginal births and my beaver is amazing.
I like mine too. Sometimes I want to shout, "Look at this! Look at it! It's chuffin' amazing isn't it!" Grin

The only problem I have with nakedness is I don't know where to look, but I really want to have a good old stare; other people's bodies are so fascinating because we don't get to see most shapes and sizes naked. We're just so funny about it all in this country unfortunately and I wish we weren't. I'd love to be so relaxed around naked strangers that catching a glimpse of tits and bush isn't something I'm trying to avoid doing.

She was about a foot away
YANBU. The nakedness is a bit of a red herring I feel, she was just a space invader and it would've been irritating had she been fully clothed. I would've "accidentally" swished my towel so it touched her, or taken a step backward and bumped her (like when someone's too close at a checkout). Then appologise and say "oh, I didn't realise you were so close!" [hint, hint].

nina2b · 04/07/2017 21:03

Today 20:42 diodati

OP, did you find her proximity sexually disturbing? Maybe that's the difficulty you're experiencing.

Oh dear!
rolls eyes

Lonelymummyof1 · 04/07/2017 21:05

Haha I am one of these people that has no issue with wandering around naked 😂
I recently went from living in tower block to a house on a main road with massive full wall windows.
My boyfriend is often having to remind to put a shirt on and to remember to do it before putting the washing out in the garden which is surrounded by neighbours windows 🙈

RebelRogue · 04/07/2017 21:08

@Lonelymummyof1 but are you really skinny? That's the important but 😬

RebelRogue · 04/07/2017 21:09

Bit not but Grin

Lonelymummyof1 · 04/07/2017 21:10

Tbf my body is good 😂😂😂
Face not so much haha
Probably why I like being naked, show of my good parts 😂😂😂

Voice0fReason · 04/07/2017 22:06

I wouldn't want anyone hanging around naked near me. Yuk.
So a naked body is yuk?

Well now you know
The more I read on this thread, the more I feel the need to continue with my brazen nakedness. Women need to see and get used to real women's bodies. If more women were more open, then there would be less hang ups.

I can't even work out what the optimum time is that we are supposed to be allowed to be naked! Grin I cool off naked before getting dressed. I hate fighting with clothes that I am sticking to. If someone else deems that I have been longer than entirely necessary - tough, that's entirely their problem. You carry on being uncomfortable.

Lonelymummyof1 · 04/07/2017 22:09

Voice of reason ! Me to !!
I always stand around nude for a while so I do not stick to my clothes.
Boobs do not bite and we all have vaginas maybe not bushes - but each to their own unless there is bats waiting to attack I am not fussed !

Human body is natural why are womens boobs a no but men can flaunt there nipples around ?

My nipples should be appreciated as much as his 😂😂

JaneJeffer · 04/07/2017 22:28

You carry on Voice and I will carry on never using any communal changing room. I don't like people invading my personal space even when they're fully clothed.

Notknownatthisaddress · 04/07/2017 22:32

Please tell me people are joking about the changing rooms they go to having a hair dryer for fannies?

I mean, what the actual fuck? 😂😂😂😂😂

I am firmly in the 'I don't wanna see your minge, arse, and tits hanging in front of me, and you're not gonna see mine' brigade, and fuck what anyone thinks about it. I agree with the posters who said that people who do it seem to be wanting to prove a point. 'Oooooh look how right-on I am, I am so comfortable with my body; what a shame you're not.' They remind me of the obsessive breastfeeding brigade who breastfeed in the middle of the shopping centre, in rows of 20, just to prove a point. 🙄🙄🙄

As for the comment someone came out with about someone saying 'your bits must be special if you're hiding them' so they dropped their towel and got on with it. I'd have said 'I actually have a cock and don't want you getting jealous.' Hell would freeze over before some bolshy cow would me feel bad for not wanting to show my fanny and tits off in front of a crowd of women.

I am also royally fucked off with reading on this thread about how they do it in Scandinavia and Iceland. WHO.. FUCKING.. CARES?! Angry We are not living there are we? So who gives a wank what they fucking do there?!

Why do people have such a problem with people being shy around nudity? Why does it offend you so? Or do just not like it when people don't agree with you?! Hmm