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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be horrified by people in changing rooms?

318 replies

Smarshian · 03/07/2017 19:27

I went on a lovely spa day today with a friend as my first day away from my 6 month old dd.
While getting changed for lunch a woman came out of the showers and stood around for about 5 minutes having a chat/getting in my way - right next to me completely starkers! I was getting changed under a towel and my locker was there and the bench the other side of me so I couldn't move without being really awkward as I was obviously using that space.
I wouldn't mind her just getting changed but she didn't, she had a towel round her head and her full bush and boobs out, she wasn't even facing the lockers, it was like she was just parading in my face.
I've no issue with nakedness in changing rooms while getting changed but don't just stand around naked making me feel awkward!
Aibu?

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 03/07/2017 23:06

I have only just started to feel confident enough in my own skin to dress in the changing rooms without covering up. I find it very freeing.

I actually had a conversation with another naked woman in there. I certainly don't parade around but since I have found this new found confidence I'm not in a rush to cover up either.

Voice0fReason · 03/07/2017 23:06

she wasn't even facing the lockers
Perhaps the OP could have solved that problem by facing the other way herself.
You could have taken yourself off to the toilet if it was that difficult for you. She had every right to be naked - your discomfort - your problem.

Have people no bloody shame.
You are implying that a naked body is something a person SHOULD feel ashamed of.

it is definitely very "look at me."
Oh yes, that's why I do it. I just want other random women to admire my naked body.

I prefer privacy as well as modesty myself.
You have every right to want to be private and modest yourself. What you can't do is expect other people to conform to your unspoken ideals.

flimflaminurjams · 03/07/2017 23:07

Whilst she must be very body confident (good for her), she's inconsiderate of others.

If, as the majority of posters here say we should accept nudity, then I think we also need to accept that we should balance that with respect for others who don't wish to see it paraded about.

If you feel she crossed the line between being naked for the purpose of washing and changing and being naked in an exhibitionist way then YANBU.

diodati · 03/07/2017 23:07

I wouldn't do it but I certainly wouldn't be faffing around with a towel, either. Some people are less body-conscious than others. My DD won't let anyone see her naked, including me, but DS wanders around the house starkers.

Neolara · 03/07/2017 23:07

Op, I'm totally with you.

diodati · 03/07/2017 23:09

OP, why don't you just avert your gaze?

Flumplet · 03/07/2017 23:11

It winds me up to I'm afraid - I just want out without someone's hairy bits flapping around all in my grill. 🤢

tessieandoz · 03/07/2017 23:11

YANBU. I think it shows a complete lack of consideration for those, like me, who are outright embarrassed by this kind of flaunting behaviour.

Nothing wrong with nudity per se, it was her demeanour that was inconsiderate. Outright bad manners

Flumplet · 03/07/2017 23:11

*too

Ilovecoleslaw · 03/07/2017 23:12

I agree op.
Fair enough getting changed and being naked, and even faffing about for a bit while trying to find their clothes.
But it's the ones who are fully starkers doing their hair in the mirror for 5/10 mins.
I am by no means shy of the naked body but i just think it's a bit strange Hmm

SunnyLikeThursday · 03/07/2017 23:12

YANBU. I think it's a bit exhibitionist. Someone did something like this in my company once and I had the distinct feeling that she was trying to make a point.

BluebellsareBlue · 03/07/2017 23:13

@titsbumfannythelot
OMG! Your user name is my favourite film EVER!
"Don't touch the ravioli it's garbage!"

nina2b · 03/07/2017 23:13

Today 21:59 Flyinggeese

Music that really made me laugh!

Wow. I thought it was a horrible mental image. I will definitely have nightmares about that.

ivykaty44 · 03/07/2017 23:14

Tbh op I would have thought you were the silly one getting dressed under a towel - your not special or different and I'm not going to notice your naked body getting changed - what I do notice is the utter farce of a performance you make trying to hide under your towel getting changed.

If you have an issue with changing rooms then you need to shut your eyes

nina2b · 03/07/2017 23:15

Ha. Lots of people agree with the OP. GrinGrinGrin

VeryButchyRestingFace · 03/07/2017 23:15

i'd like to congratulate vestal virgin on their attempt to crowbar the spectre of men with cocks and balls and dresses into the conversation

She doesn't have to crowbar very hard. It's already a reality in some areas and doubtless women will be subject to the same arguments espoused here if they object: "why are you such a prude?/nudity is normal/don't look/why are you threatened by the naked body/you're the one with the problem" etc, etc.

nina2b · 03/07/2017 23:15

Because the OP has made a good point.

NotMyPenguin · 03/07/2017 23:15

YABU. I feel really sorry for you that this gives you this kind of reaction, to be honest - sorry, I don't mean that to sound horrible, I just think it's so sad that seeing a perfectly normal naked body in a non-sexual context bothers you.

Funnily enough it was going swimming as a young adult, and seeing lots of women of all shapes and sizes getting dressed/undressed in the communal changing area without any self-consciousness or awkwardness, that really made me feel ok about my own body for the first time in my life. Like -- we've all got them. We're all different. And it's all good. Ah, I just sound like a nutcase writing it down, but it was so good for my soul on a weirdly deep level.

IfNot · 03/07/2017 23:18

I like to see other women nekkid. I'm just dead nosy. I would have had a right good gawp.

AssignedMentalAtBirth · 03/07/2017 23:20

Ex

"Pardon my French?" Have you been on the cooking whisky?

And fwiw, we will soon see cocks in the ladies' changing room. I guess I am am a prude for objecting, yes? Feel free to tell the OP that she is fannyphobic

SpareASquare · 03/07/2017 23:25

You said she boxed you in but she moved when you asked her to?

Considering you were getting changed under your towel and were busy yourself, I'm not sure what she did that was soooo awful.

I did consider how I'd feel in this situation and, to be honest, I'd probably feel a little uncomfortable. I also know that would be MY issue totally. The idea that being naked in a change room is offensive and shameful is probably the bigger issue.

nina2b · 03/07/2017 23:26

In such a situation, I would definitely get dressed under a towel too. My choice. Better than standing around embarrassing herself.

nina2b · 03/07/2017 23:27

Today 23:26 nina2b

In such a situation, I would definitely get dressed under a towel too. My choice. Better than standing around being an embarrassment.

Ceefax101 · 03/07/2017 23:30

There is a woman at ours who dries her muff with the communal hairdryer, leg up on the bench.

Xmasbaby11 · 03/07/2017 23:31

Yabu. There's no shame in being naked in that environment. I wish I had the confidence to do so but I'm fat and hide my body.

In many other cultures it is normal to be naked eg sauna, spa. I got used to it abroad but now find myself hiding again.