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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be horrified by people in changing rooms?

318 replies

Smarshian · 03/07/2017 19:27

I went on a lovely spa day today with a friend as my first day away from my 6 month old dd.
While getting changed for lunch a woman came out of the showers and stood around for about 5 minutes having a chat/getting in my way - right next to me completely starkers! I was getting changed under a towel and my locker was there and the bench the other side of me so I couldn't move without being really awkward as I was obviously using that space.
I wouldn't mind her just getting changed but she didn't, she had a towel round her head and her full bush and boobs out, she wasn't even facing the lockers, it was like she was just parading in my face.
I've no issue with nakedness in changing rooms while getting changed but don't just stand around naked making me feel awkward!
Aibu?

OP posts:

CheeseOfHearts · 04/07/2017 10:08

Easilyflattered Loved your post. Maybe if more young girls saw grown women naked in all their wobbly, imperfect glory rather than the shiny, airbrushed versions thrown at them everywhere they'd have less hangups about their own bodies.

It's a changing room. People get naked in there, that's what its for. Clearly that's what you had an issue with. If someone is in your way, clothed or otherwise, say excuse me. It's not difficult.

ElsieMc · 04/07/2017 10:09

I am with the op on this and admit to being somewhat anal and prudish. But Flimflam has it right, whilst she might feel free and uninhibited in her own skin, she is inconsiderate of other people's feelings and is oversharing (being polite here) because of the amount of time she is parading round naked.

She has an absolute right to use the changing rooms and be naked as she changes, but hanging around for a significant time is crossing the line.

Baalam · 04/07/2017 10:12

I have been naked in front of my dds plenty of times, I am old, fat, pale and hairy

They all have a very healthy confident attitude to their own bodies which I love

CheeseOfHearts · 04/07/2017 10:16

'Parading'? As in, just walking around being a human in her own skin? Isn't that rather like the way the Daily Fail always captions pictures of women 'showing off' their figure or 'flaunting' their baby bump (when they're just walking around, getting on with their day)

woodhill · 04/07/2017 10:36

Yanbu I find the whole nakedness thing embarrassing and I totally understand. I'm not bothered about boobs and I will change with my back to others but towel over my lower half.

Dcs would not see me naked unless they were babies. Ds once came in my room as a toddler.

MrsNuckyThompson · 04/07/2017 10:38

I love it when a poster asks if they WIBU and then when everyone tells them they are, won't accept it!!

PARunnerGirl · 04/07/2017 10:49

I do this (although not boxing people into a corner, as I am a bit more socially aware than that!). Usually it's a practical thing, like I'm really hot after the gym and want to cool down before putting clothes on. Or I've just moisturised and again want to wait a bit before putting clothes on. So I'll brush my hair or pack some stuff away or whatever in the buff!

I actually never think anyone is looking at me or is that bothered about it, but this thread has made me feel like they probably are!

The only time I ever think about other women in the changing room is when they are struggling to get dressed under a towel, pinning it to their sides with their elbows and they try to wrestle on a pair of knickers. I always think that they resemble some sort of demented T-tex and think to myself, I wish you knew I don't care what you look like at ALL so you could just drop the towel and get dressed in peace!

DarylDixonsJockstrap · 04/07/2017 11:10

YABVU...i genuinely don't see how someone standing next to you naked, having a conversation could ever be offensive??!! Even if you were 'boxed in', you could have asked her to move along a bit as you didn't have much space. I don't see the relevance of her nakedness tbh.

nina2b · 04/07/2017 11:46

Ah so this is REALLY about whether women wax, no? If I had to be hemmed in by a naked changer, I would prefer her to be the nicely waxed type. As for underarm hair - surely all women get rid of it as they do leg hair. Otherwise, ugh.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 04/07/2017 11:49

I love it when a poster asks if they WIBU and then when everyone tells them they are, won't accept it!!

Except that didn't happen here.

nina2b · 04/07/2017 11:49

Today 10:12 Baalam

I have been naked in front of my dds plenty of times, I am old, fat, pale and hairy

They all have a very healthy confident attitude to their own bodies which I love

Are they teenagers?

SeaEagleFeather · 04/07/2017 12:32

^I couldn't care less about naked bodies in a changing room! I didn't know anyone else did either. Maybe it's my Dutch blood

Do they have unisex changing rooms in Holland?^

Bit late to the party but yes, our local swimming pool does. You start off uncomfortable, you get used to it eventually, then the UK shy need to cover up starts to seem rather neurotic. Mind you people don't parade, they just get on with whatever they're doing and they move if you ask them to, too. Course, you might need to actually put it into words that you'd like them to move.

Well, others might have felt a bit nauseous at the sight of the woman who was in full display mode

This is one of the most fucked up comment I've ever read on Mumsnet and there's been some pretty bad ones. Anyone who feels nauseous at the sight of other women's bodies in a changing room has some serious issues. It's the casualness of the comment that's so jawdropping

TheStoic · 04/07/2017 12:33

She has an absolute right to use the changing rooms and be naked as she changes, but hanging around for a significant time is crossing the line.

What's the cut off?

toomuchtooold · 04/07/2017 12:41

I don't know what the cutoff is stoic but I think there is a socially acceptable window of how much time you can spend hanging about naked in that context, even in countries where it's more normal. We live in Germany and go to the pool a lot and it's very much go in - get changed - get back out smartly.

Flyinggeese · 04/07/2017 12:57

This thread has made me realise I am a prude around nakedness like this. Not fleeting nakedness as people get changed. It's the moisturising with a leg up, wandering around waiting for moisturiser to sink in, holding a lengthy conversation naked that really makes me uncomfortable. It suggest to me a POINT is being made. I wish I didn't feel like this but I really do!

SteppingOnToes · 04/07/2017 13:00

OP - could you not have just used a cubical - you were changing in the communal areas, you are shock horror going to see naked bodies...

JaneJeffer · 04/07/2017 13:04

YANBU. I wouldn't want anyone hanging around naked near me. Yuk. Prude and proud!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 04/07/2017 13:08

could you not have just used a cubical

Maybe there weren't any? My gym only has communal changing, no cubicles (unless you want to change in a toilet cubicle)

TheStoic · 04/07/2017 13:10

But honestly...what is the problem with nudity in a change room?

Do you feel personally threatened? Unsafe?

I don't get it.

woodhill · 04/07/2017 13:14

So in Holland men and women change together with no cubicles. What about other cultures who live there?

lemonzest123 · 04/07/2017 13:18

Oh for god's sake

VeryButchyRestingFace · 04/07/2017 13:19

So in Holland men and women change together with no cubicles

Sounds grim. But I don't live there so...

Clandestino · 04/07/2017 13:20

Why is a naked woman in a female changing room such a problem for you?

leedy · 04/07/2017 14:25

I am now reminded of a book I read ages ago where one of the characters was part of a Prude Pride movement and wore a t-shirt saying I'M PROUD TO SAY I'M ASHAMED OF MY BODY.

I'm probably guilty of insufficiently brief nudity myself in the gym/pool changing room, in that I don't always rush as quickly as possible into my clothes or swimsuit, especially if I'm hot after the gym. I'm not "parading around" (which always sounds to me like it ought to involve a marching band or something and/or nipple tassles) or "displaying" or "flaunting" or "being an exhibitionist", I'm just being naked in a place where it's socially acceptable to be naked, ie a changing room. I assume nobody's looking at me, I don't really notice anyone else (there are lots of other naked women and girls of all ages and sizes), it would never have occurred to me that anyone would find it offensive or inconsiderate.

nina2b · 04/07/2017 14:39

Some people should read the whole thread.

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