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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
Hersetta427 · 03/07/2017 17:01

See how she them them apples. Can't wait for her reply

RortyCrankle · 03/07/2017 17:01
Shock

Honestly - it's beyond anything I've ever read on MN or anywhere.

Tidydancer had two or three threads about an entitled bridezillla but it doesn't even come close to the outrageous messages she has sent you. I hope your DH is ready when she comes knocking on your door. What time is he due home?

CeeCeeEnnEss · 03/07/2017 17:02

Can't believe the cheek of some people!

Including me for the place marking...

Billben · 03/07/2017 17:02

Oh, I'm sure she will come over. You just need to make sure your husband is at home. If she is like this on the phone, she will be even more horrid if it's just the two of you.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 03/07/2017 17:02

I'd absolutely love if your mutual friend used this moment to follow suit and say she agrees with you and won't be doing her morning child care post holidays.

juneau · 03/07/2017 17:02

This is what I don't get - why on earth would she dump a 10-year-old and a 13-year-old on a woman who has an 8-year-old and a 3-year-old???? If her kids were the same age as yours then it would at least make a tiny bit of sense, but when your DC are such different ages it's extraordinary that she's latched on to you in this way and has such high expectations of your desire to look after her much older DC. She's clearly bonkers and that's why no one in her DC's classes has been asked/put upon - they're all wise to her games by now!

mikeyssister · 03/07/2017 17:03

Don't forget to update the girl who's currently minding them. I think you're both well rid.

juneau · 03/07/2017 17:03

And I feel sorry for her poor kids. Imagine just being dumped on someone you don't even know who doesn't even have kids your age Sad

Stickaforkinimdone · 03/07/2017 17:04

I'm with the PP who suggested replying only with memes from now on 😂
If it were me I couldn't help but play around with her a bit

RubyRoseRing · 03/07/2017 17:04

She can't moan at you for '2 weeks', fam, as you will block her number and you'll be away for a few days next week. I think you really do need to block her - and him too.

MoveOnTheCards · 03/07/2017 17:04

This woman is fucking loopy. Good on you for standing up to her. Stay strong!

Jux · 03/07/2017 17:04

Oh well done op!

So she thnks she can come round and bully you into it, does she? I suspect that you don't need your dh to deal with her, being quite able to say no now yourself!

Some people are their own worst enemies, aren't they?

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 03/07/2017 17:05

Plus the whole 'it's only two more kids' thing - I bet she's not planning to chip in for good, days out, entertainment. She'd just expect it to include them for free and gratis. Good for you telling her where to go!

UserShmuser · 03/07/2017 17:05

Can't believe how cheeky this woman is! Well done for sticking to your guns Fam!

Pouncival · 03/07/2017 17:05

I don't know how I got to 50 and continue to be shocked by people - I've met some twats in my time

I've been dealing with a work situation today, have compromised and mostly given the person what they want and they still aren't happy - it's the bull-headed refusal to see the other person's point of view that I find unbelievable - glad you've almost got it sorted OP.

If they moan in the next 2 weeks just keep saying "i've already said no, leave me alone please"

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 03/07/2017 17:05

Utterly unbelievable some people really think the world revolves around them , i would just say my children are my responsibility , yours are your responsibility , bye !

CookieSue222 · 03/07/2017 17:07

I am by nature a hermit lurker - very little brings me out to comment.
Now I have heard it all - this woman is unreal - why/how are you responsible for her children?
Well done OP for standing your ground - I am livid on your behalf, and if she does turn up at yours DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR!!!
Good Luck.

Ceefax101 · 03/07/2017 17:07

This woman will be no loss as a "friend". She can go swivel. DON'T apologise or give reasons, it doesn't work for you. If you make excuses she will pick holes in them. Remember you are setting an example to your own children here too, they don't want you to be a pushover.

Christinayangstwistedsista · 03/07/2017 17:07

She can't take the hint!!!!?

youarenotkiddingme · 03/07/2017 17:07

Congratulations - you managed to meet some of the entitled in society!

Those who pretend they do everything for everyone and would always help people out but in fact have just perfected the piss take and how to word things so people saying no makes them feel unreasonable.

BluePencils · 03/07/2017 17:07

She really has no self awareness does she. Send her the link to this thread. She might get some.

famtastic · 03/07/2017 17:07

He will be home anytime now Smile
He will be furious when I show him all the messages! He didn't believe that they were that stupid to expect child care that was not double and triple checked lol

OP posts:
wherearemymarbles · 03/07/2017 17:08

How about
'I never, ever agreed to look after your children 5 days a week for 6 weeks. It is beyond comprehension that you would even think it was reasonable. No is no and you are acting like a bully. My husband is now involved.

Allthebestnamesareused · 03/07/2017 17:08

You reply:

"And I am shocked that anyone in their right mind would assume they are entitled to free childcare for 2 kids for the whole summer holidays on the basis of your husband saying "I may need a favour". As you seem to think this is normal perhaps one of your other friends will be willing to step into the breech? Or perhaps not!"

PrimalLass · 03/07/2017 17:08

OP, is there anything else on this account that is private? If not I would be so tempted to put a link on your Facebook as someone else has suggested.