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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
DAMNgina · 03/07/2017 16:26

I can't believe that you are still open to doing the Monday tbh -

please don't do the Monday, please OP?

Pleeeeeeease?

RuggerHug · 03/07/2017 16:26

While this is horrible to be happening to you OP I am seriously considering having popcorn at the ready for updates.

Disclaimer:40+ weeks , miserable and immobile. I need this entertainment..

SocksRock · 03/07/2017 16:26

Favours in the holiday to me means maybe 2 or 3 days tops over the 6 weeks to cover gaps in already-paid-for-but-couldn't-get-exactly-the-right-days holiday clubs.

FWIW, I was going to have to spend £120 a day on childcare this summer, as I did last summer, but instead handed my notice in this morning so I can spend the time with my kids. I most certainly will not be spending it looking after other people's children as DH and I will be making sacrifices to do this and I may not have a job in September (although work are discussing 8 weeks unpaid leave as an alternative as I think they want to keep me)

CookieLady · 03/07/2017 16:26

Oh my. The sheer cheek of it all. Shock

skyyequake · 03/07/2017 16:26

I'd remind her that a "favour" actually involves someone offering or accepting (aka after being ASKED) to do something and the other person being GRATEFUL for it.

Yvetteballs · 03/07/2017 16:26

She swore at you,abused you, belittled you. You can't do Monday now!!!!!

AvoidingCallenetics · 03/07/2017 16:26

In the end, whether she listens or not, she cannot make you look after her children. So stay strong and just don't do it. I'm astonished that you are still doing the monday after her behaviour.

rookiemere · 03/07/2017 16:27

What's odd as well is that most 10 & definitely 13 year olds would surely want to hang out with DCs their own age.

I'd actually be happy enough to entertain one of DSs pals on the days I'm not working as they would be company for him.

So clearly all the other parents of older dcs are wise to their mickey taking ways.

I'd not have them over for an hour now.

RortyCrankle · 03/07/2017 16:27

X-posted. Her arrogance and sense of entitlement are simply breathtaking. I honestly think the only thing your DH needs to say is: We are NOT looking after your children and you can fuck off. Do not contact us again.

IamnotaStepfordHousewife · 03/07/2017 16:27

Wow what a bitch is all I can say. Under no circumstances look after her children!

livefornaps · 03/07/2017 16:28

WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING THE MONDAY??!!!

this woman has zero respect for you - she has insulted and belittled you!!

Why do you owe her anything at all????

IloveBanff · 03/07/2017 16:28

Don't do it. Unless you OWE them a huge favour which you haven't mentioned I don't know how they've got such a bloody cheek.

Namechangetempissue · 03/07/2017 16:28

Just block her now. She clearly is going to bang on about it and try and convince you to change your mind. Final text cancelling Monday and then block on everything. What a nut job.

PollytheDolly · 03/07/2017 16:28

Don't do the Monday!! You do, they will be at your door 6.30am on the Tuesday, guarantee it. Give her an inch, she will take the whole nine yards.

kali110 · 03/07/2017 16:29

Just say "no you will not come round, i am now not prepared to help you out monday or anyday due to your response.
Just because i am a sahm does not mean you can assume i am a free babysitter. I have not let you down, you have let yourself down.
How dare you assume i would watch your kids for 6 weeks!
If you can't or won't pay for childcare, that's your problem.
Friends HELP each other, friends don't DUMP their kids on each other just because they don't want to pay for a babysitter.

FATEdestiny · 03/07/2017 16:30

Oh please. I was with the OP until about 3pm when the whole thing got sensationalized Biscuit

famtastic · 03/07/2017 16:30

No I'm not doing the Monday, I ment that that was what I had said to her I was free, but she wouldn't take that only. My dh will inform her of that later. But I am going to say that I won't be doing it now if she messages me back.

OP posts:
Tinseleverywhere · 03/07/2017 16:30

I liked your last reply about not being a CM. And I agree with the ppl who said any 13 year old who can't stay by themself ever is going to be hard work.
Please come back and let us know how it turns out.

Glamorousglitter · 03/07/2017 16:30

Gobsmacked at the audacity of their assumptions.

Don't do the Monday. Guarnteee you will be guilted or bad mouthed.

And absolutely no to 'everyone knows what a favour means ' ..... unbelievable. Am outraged and indignant on your behalf.
Don't cave though!!

WhatwouldOliviaPopedo · 03/07/2017 16:30

Can I just say well done for pulling on your big girl pants! You're handling this situation really well especially as it's clear from your first post that you don't like confrontation and this must be a really big deal for you. I cannot believe the brass neck of the woman!

May50 · 03/07/2017 16:30

I agree - don't do the Monday either - not after how rude she was.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/07/2017 16:30

She spoke to you like were something she'd trodden on, and Youre still having them on the Mondays.
FFS, op. No disrespect, but. Where's your back bone. It doesn't make you the devil incarnate to say "No".

rinabean · 03/07/2017 16:31

Why the fuck are you still doing the monday

If my own sister spoke to me like that I'd not do her that favour after this. My god. You could write the first text off as shock and frustration - you could imagine that maybe, maybe she did ask, or perhaps she genuinely believes she'd asked, or whatever. But you wouldn't have had to. But the rest? Oh my god. If you do anything else for her you deserve the way she's treating you. These people only get away with it because someone caves! I hope you realise that you're getting this because of the weakness of the other friend who used to do this for her? Don't reward her any more for her rudeness. She deserves the consequences, absolutely and fully. She deserves nothing good from you. For heaven's sake, don't do the monday

rinabean · 03/07/2017 16:31

cross posted. Good!! I am glad you aren't doing it. But maybe you should text her now before you lose your nerve? You know she'll try and whittle you down again if she thinks she's got her foot in the door

livefornaps · 03/07/2017 16:32

Just tell her now you're not doing the Monday! Don't put it off. Follow up text : "and as for Monday: forget it. I'm not having your children at all this summer".

Then you're done! Why wait for your husband to spell it out?

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