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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
WhyDoIKnow · 03/07/2017 16:19

Or the Wright Stuff

ApocalypseNowt · 03/07/2017 16:19

Gah! Missed a few pages!

Let your DH deal with these loons! They're unbelievable..!

MistressDeeCee · 03/07/2017 16:19

erm it's a no-brainer, surely?! Wait for them to ask. Then say sorry, no can do. If you want to offer to do 1 morning per week then do that. If they say they've no alternatives do the broken record technique 'I'm sorry I really cannot offer the number of days you require'. Repeating it a few times without deviation into whys & wherefores will get the message across.

If you end up doing/offering more than you want to even after this due to being concerned about childcare arrangements they didn't bother to makeHmm (have they even talked money with you?) then look into assertiveness training for yourself. As their assumption screams "we know she's a soft touch"

BewareOfDragons · 03/07/2017 16:19

Wow. I am astounded at her brazenness.

I would text back along the lines of: "Wow. You are unbelievable. You have either clearly lost your mind or are a piss taker of the highest order.

YOUR children are not MY responsibility. They are YOUR responsibility. And if you can't watch them yourself, then YOU have to find and pay someone who will for the summer holidays.

That person will not be me. Ever. And you can find someone else to look after them on Monday the 17th as well, because I am not doing it now.

Please do not come to my home. I have nothing left to say to you on this matter. What you want isn't a 'favour', it is a piss-take.

rollonthesummer · 03/07/2017 16:19

-*Today 16:14 kalinkafoxtrot45

Tell her that due to her abusive language towards you, you won't be having the kids Monday or ever, and if she turns up and makes a scene at your house, you'll be calling the cops.*

What did she do at half term/Easter/Christmas and the last 9+ years of school holidays? Surely this isn't the first time someone's said no to her?

ElleMcElle · 03/07/2017 16:20

Do send her the link to this thread! Might help her to see her behaviour through the eyes of others!

IsabelleSE19 · 03/07/2017 16:21

Before she comes round, get your diary out and write 'NOT A FUCKING CHANCE' on each page of the summer holiday period.

Then see if it matches hers.

RainbowPastel · 03/07/2017 16:22

You don't live in a city beginning with C do you op?

The name and age and the messages remind me of someone who tried this on me.

If not there are a lot of cheeky people around. I am a SAHM and get asked loads. It's unbelievable the cheek of some people.

rainbowpie · 03/07/2017 16:22

rollon she only went back to work last year and has had another mug to use since then. The mug has now declined to help and so a new mug is being sought out.

Blush been following for 28 pages.

TwoLeftSocks · 03/07/2017 16:22

"YOUR children are not MY responsibility" I'd print that out and tape it to the front door, for the whole summer if needed.

famtastic · 03/07/2017 16:22

She wasn't working last summer they have only lived here 2 years so I have no idea what they did before. I feel quiet empowered now but slightly guilty, which I know is ridiculous. Thank god for all you lot

I have replied saying I am not prepared to sort out dates with her later as I have told her I can only do the Monday. But she is choosing not to listen to me. Also that I am not a childminder

Awaiting the next replyConfused

OP posts:
squeaver · 03/07/2017 16:22

To answer, what happened last Summer? I think the OP said their mutual friend (who introduced them this year) did it in summers past. And warned the OP about their piss-taking.

NoSquirrels · 03/07/2017 16:23

What dates you are free and what we need. Will be easier in person to get it sorted. And we asked you ages ago for favours in the holidays everyone knows what that means.

She's just .... there are no words!

You can cite me as someone who doesn't know what "favours in the holidays means". Who would guess from that they meant a 6.30 a.m. wake up call every day for a teen and his younger brother. They're not even in your DC's class or their mate! "Favours in the holidays" to me means e.g. would you be able to cover an hour between holiday club ending and my work finishing - I'll give you ice cream money for them all if you could just amuse them in the park for an hour.

Staggering.

headinthecloud · 03/07/2017 16:23

Bewareofdragons** good response!

squeaver · 03/07/2017 16:23

Ah sorry, cross-post

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 03/07/2017 16:23

I'm not sure whether i believe anyone is that brass necky !

cakecakecheese · 03/07/2017 16:23

She needs to look up the word 'favour' in the dictionary. She also needs to look up the word 'confirmed' Confused

Lancelottie · 03/07/2017 16:24

Well, this thread's been fun, but I shan't hold on for the updates about her coming round and making off with Famtastic's wine/teaset/DH.

I have to WORK, dontcha know.

Belindabelle · 03/07/2017 16:24

Yes what did she do last year!

BigApple11 · 03/07/2017 16:24

Wow....this thread....I mean it's unbelievable!

greendale17 · 03/07/2017 16:24

OP why are you still going to do the Monday for her?

NoSquirrels · 03/07/2017 16:24

Before she comes round, get your diary out and write 'NOT A FUCKING CHANCE' on each page of the summer holiday period.

Then see if it matches hers.

Grin Grin Grin

RoboticSealpup · 03/07/2017 16:25

Look at her like "wtf are you on about you crazy person?" Then say no and close the door. Don't explain, don't justify. Any favour you might have wanted to grant her are of the table done she's behaved so appallingly towards you. I would never speak to her again after this absolutely unhinged display.

AdalindSchade · 03/07/2017 16:25

It's not illegal to look after kids for free only if you are getting paid for it

PoppyFleur · 03/07/2017 16:25

Wow. It is rare that I am speechless but there really are no words for that level of entitlement.

She is clearly deranged. I would not demand such a favour from family let alone friends.

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