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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
IggyAce · 03/07/2017 15:53

She has a massive brass neck, op you need to confirm that you can only have them the Monday and no other days, because from her message she is assuming you will have them the rest of the holidays. That's what I read between the lines.

BitOutOfPractice · 03/07/2017 15:53

It's so tempting to text back something cutting about friends not dumping their kids on their mates but I think the best answer now is no answer.

Having said that, does her comment about the first week imply that you will cover subsequent weeks Shock

LazyDailyMailJournos · 03/07/2017 15:54

Ooh I'd text the cheeky mare back:

Please don't swear at me. I find it very odd that you expect me to do you a favour and think that being rude to me is the way to get it! I have NEVER agreed to anything other than Monday 17th - and neither you nor your DH have asked me, so why you are being stroppy about it is beyond me. What on earth possesses you to think that I would keep my entire summer free on the off-chance that you'd want me to do you a "favour" and provide you with free childcare for the whole of the school holidays? As I'm not Mystic Meg and I have plans of my own, it should come as no surprise that I won't be able to "help" you out. Your childcare = your responsibility. In view of the fact that you have been so unpleasant it's clearly not a good idea for me to look after your DC on Monday after all, so you will need to make alternative arrangements. I won't be discussing this any further.

Mia1415 · 03/07/2017 15:54

I can't believe her reply! I'd be raging.

I love Hidingtoonothing reply. Please send this!

rollonthesummer · 03/07/2017 15:54

Reply: 'No, you won't as there is nothing to sort. I am not your unpaid childcare and will not be looking after your children at all.'

If she does turn up-get your DH to tell her to get stuffed.

jlbjudy · 03/07/2017 15:54

Oh my word. I don't think any sane parent would expect their children to be looked after for nothing the whole summer holidays. She sounds very assuming and just down right rude how she has gone about the whole situation. A phone call in June when planning childcare should have happened not you finding out from gossip !! Shock

evilharpy · 03/07/2017 15:54

Jesus. I've read some entitled things on mumsnet but this is just batshit.

Emeraude · 03/07/2017 15:54

Oh Jesus. I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I would not let her come round at all, or get your husband to talk to her if he is as straight-talking as you say.

Yvetteballs · 03/07/2017 15:54

Please don't let her in your house. That will be harassment. Can your DH be there when she bangs on the door?

DancesWithOtters · 03/07/2017 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

headinthecloud · 03/07/2017 15:54

I am open mouthed stunned that she actually thinks you're in the wrong!
Please stick to your guns because they will take the piss out of you forever more if you let them

GingerHanna · 03/07/2017 15:54

I'd be wary now of the 'I'll come round later and sort it out'... sounds like she's planning to have it out with you in person in the hope you'll back down...

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 03/07/2017 15:55

Monday's out now too. Fuck that noise.

Don't back down!!

PollytheDolly · 03/07/2017 15:55

Whaaaattttt???!????

AyeAmarok · 03/07/2017 15:55

OP she thinks you're agreeing to look after them the following 5 weeks.

Writerwannabe83 · 03/07/2017 15:55

She's going to come round later to sort it out? Hahahaha. The woman is CRAZY!!

WTF?!

I have never heard anything so ridiculous. Do people like this really exist?

Im Gobsmacked too OP!

Tell her there's nothing to 'sort' and nothing about your time is 'free' so she can save herself the visit!

RubyRoseRing · 03/07/2017 15:55

OP, you need to put it very clearly to her that neither of them discussed this with you. It is possible the father told her he had had a conversation with you about specifics. Both a pair of chancers nonetheless.

Yvetteballs · 03/07/2017 15:55

Tell her not to come round and not to contact you again.

CatSittingMonkey · 03/07/2017 15:55

Ok fine if you have to go away the first week then il have to sort something out won't we!

Sounds like there's more than just the first week expected...

macnab · 03/07/2017 15:57

Oh my god OP. I've followed the thread all day and although I've been dying to voice my opinion, I actually just don't have any words at this stage! I'm completely Shock and Angry at her rudeness and reaction to you!

This is a good thing, really, it's best all round if you never have anything to do with them again and this has made sure of that.

Enjoy the summer holiday with your family and don't give them another thought but please update when she's been round after work!

eddielizzard · 03/07/2017 15:57

'when did you actually ask me about any of this?'

LazyDailyMailJournos · 03/07/2017 15:57

Cross post. Text her back:

Don't come round - there is nothing to "sort out". You have never asked me for childcare apart from the 17th - and because you have been so rude, I won't be doing that for you either so please make alternative arrangements. Finally I am not doing anything to you - you are responsible for making childcare arrangements for YOUR children. It's not my fault that you have decided that you are entitled to MY time for FREE without even having the courtesy to ask first! Don't contact me again - I have nothing to say to you.

And if the cheeky cow comes round, get your DH to deal with her.

CalmItKermitt · 03/07/2017 15:57

Pmsl no. Sorry. Nobody behaves like this 😁

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 03/07/2017 15:57

"Do not come round as there is nothing to sort out. I'm also not doing the Monday now due to your attitude, and anyway, I'll need that time to pack for our HOLIDAY. Have a nice life, and don't bother me again"

AlmostAJillSandwich · 03/07/2017 15:57

"i have a toddler and an autistic 8 year old that i care for 24/7, hands on. That is equally as hard, if not harder, than any 9-5 job, and i think it is very rude and not friendly at all that you're clearly looking down on me as a stay at home parent.
My days are not "free time" consider yourself lucky you had 2 physically and mentally healthy children"

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