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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
Emeraude · 03/07/2017 15:40

There is no way I would be doing the Monday after that, cheeky bitch. As Daniel is almost 14, I'm sure he can do the childcare.

FrogFairy · 03/07/2017 15:40

Umm, it sounds like she will sort something for the first week and still expect you to do the rest if the holidays....

Questioningeverything · 03/07/2017 15:41

😲😲😲 she's actually unbelievable. I'd tell her her to find care for Monday too, because speaking to you like you are a piece of shit or her staff is not something I'd put up with. Bitch.
Some 'friend' she is!

honeysucklejasmine · 03/07/2017 15:41

She's referred to "first week". She does realise you can't do any week, right?

Libitina · 03/07/2017 15:41

Ok fine if you have to go away the first week then il have to sort something out

Clarify be blunt that you have a life plans for the rest of the holidays and will not be available ever.

Yvetteballs · 03/07/2017 15:41

Cancel Monday.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 03/07/2017 15:41

"Do you think I'm a doormat??? I'm not a child minder. I agreed to help a neighbour (and a friend, or so I thought) out of a bind for one day and only one day. I'm very hurt by your tone in your text. If they wont be any trouble for me, they wont be any trouble for you either!"

Cheeky wench!!! I'm getting mad for you OP! Smile

Writerwannabe83 · 03/07/2017 15:41

Oh God - how awkward!!!

Just keep repeating you had only ever been asked to do one day and that the fact she's assumed you will have them every day is very shocking.

I can't believe she swore like that in her message!!!

That would be enough for me to just tell her to fuck off!

DancesWithOtters · 03/07/2017 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

livefornaps · 03/07/2017 15:41

Er , when she says "if you have to go away the FIRST week" is she still expecting you to step in for the rest of the holidays...????

stayathomegardener · 03/07/2017 15:42

Is that implying she expects you to have them from week two onwards when you are back?

MagentaRocks · 03/07/2017 15:42

You need to reply saying you are not being her childminder for the holidays and that you are no longer doing the Monday. Cheeky fecker.

VWVAN · 03/07/2017 15:42

I would not be having these children AT ALL after a response like that!

RuggerHug · 03/07/2017 15:42

Good, you're cross now. Stay that way and don't back down! And make it VERY clear that it's every week you're not free.

Anatidae · 03/07/2017 15:42

They are also assuming you'll do the rest of the holiday by saying they will sort something for the first week.

Refuse Monday too. This is ridiculous

FuzzyCustard · 03/07/2017 15:42

Yours was a great reply, fam. She is extremely rude and manipulative. Don't feel bad, don't back down. I'd say you are well rid of such a user in your life. You really don't need this kind of behaviour, ever, and are doing well at standing strong to rebuff it.
Don't give up now.
If I was you, I would just ignore, ignore, ignore.

DAMNgina · 03/07/2017 15:42

Actually scratch that - call it off completely, no Monday, no nothing.

Cut these toxic losers out of your lief completely.

ItsNachoCheese · 03/07/2017 15:42

Tell her she can ram her monday's free childcare up her arse for that reply!

kate20091985 · 03/07/2017 15:42

Well she shouldn't have bloody assumed should she!! Cheeky cow. I'd be tempted to say 'Well with that attitude I've now realised I'm busy the 17th, you never discussed this with me so did you just assume I was free childcare on tap??'

mikeyssister · 03/07/2017 15:42

SHE SAYS YOU'RE AWAY THE FIRST WEEK. SHE PLANS ON COMING BACK AFTER THAT.

ElleMcElle · 03/07/2017 15:43

"Friends do help out - that's why I've gone out of my way to keep Monday free to look after your kids! But expecting a week at a time is too much - you cannot just assume that people will do that. This is your mistake for making the assumption and it's pretty terrible that you are now guilt-tripping me and swearing at me when all I did was try to be helpful on the Monday! I will still do Monday if you want me to, as I committed to that - but please don't ask me again."

squeaver · 03/07/2017 15:43

Like everyone else, I am staggered that an almost 14 year old needs childcare at a time of day when they'll be be sound asleep anyway.

But anyway... I don't like the reference to "the first week".

becotide · 03/07/2017 15:43

Famtastic she is using your manners as a gateway to her own way.

You need to send her something along the lines of "You have just ASSUMED I will look after your children. YOu haven't asked me, and nothing has been confirmed. You are not deciding my time for me. You can sort out your own childcare, including Monday, and every other day.

"Just to CONFIRM, no. No I will not look after your children at any point, because you are rude."

PollytheDolly · 03/07/2017 15:43

That would be a fuck off from me I'm afraid. You can't reason with the unreasonable.

THirdEeye · 03/07/2017 15:44

She won't pay for childcare provision for her children, but then expects you to.

Just rinse and repeat, what you said before. She's now trying to make you feel guilty...it's not your problem.