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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
skyyequake · 03/07/2017 15:30

Well done famtastic! Now brace yourself for more backlash and stay strong!

sweetbitter · 03/07/2017 15:31

It's ridiculous, you didn't even know about the Monday properly, let alone anything else - they obviously hadn't confirmed times or anything. 7am is way too early for them to be relying on you without having specifically confirmed that that early in the morning is OK for you.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 03/07/2017 15:31

Ever so slightly amending the suggestion by buncakes
Text this:
"I haven't known about it for weeks, I have known about the Monday and kept it free accordingly. Kids to be dropped by 7am and collected by 10:30am. I suggest you find a child minder for any childcare you need over the holiday after that. I'm glad I checked with you as it now gives you plenty of time to source a reliable child minder for any additional requirements you may have in the meantime".

Don't offer any further information on what your plans are with your own kids as it's none of their business.

Nikephorus · 03/07/2017 15:31

They've been rude and you're still helping them out?! Confused

cafetea · 03/07/2017 15:31

good reply.

kali110 · 03/07/2017 15:32

Also your dh only said 630-1030, not 230 so i am only available till then.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 03/07/2017 15:32

That last text Shock

Cheeky bitch. Say sorry Monday only and it's the only one I can do in summer.

I do wish MN wouldnt share these kind of posts, I shit myself the other day as one of mine about a friend was shared on FB with loads of comments! Luckily the friend doesn't like the MN page but still!

Writerwannabe83 · 03/07/2017 15:33

I'm Shock Shock Shock at how rude and entitled she is!!!

These are my favourite types of threads!!!

Great reply OP and don't back down!!

Pantah630 · 03/07/2017 15:33

Cross posted.
Well done OP, great reply.

The80sweregreat · 03/07/2017 15:34

your going to have to say no i 'm afraid.
its so hard, but your going to have to just face up to it if they ask you. Or
ask her now and explain before they rock up at 6.30am expecting you to be laying on breakfast in a few weeks time
Or , if you are happy to do it for a few days, tell her the days and your hourly rate - might be a money spinner for you if that your that way inclined. if you dont want to do it, they are going to have to pay someone!

justilou · 03/07/2017 15:34

What....A.... Nerve!!!
I can't believe her style!!! These people are amazing, aren't they? I am stunned!!!

cafetea · 03/07/2017 15:35

could you send a her another message to say - you've just checked and you can't do the monday now. It's a good thing that she has time to find a solution for that day.

livefornaps · 03/07/2017 15:35

Good reply OP!!!

I am sooooooooooo over invested.

The entire country is rooting for you!

You saw the bud: you nipped it.

How dare she imply her time is more valuable than yours???

You are a kinder person than most by still doing the Monday.

DancesWithOtters · 03/07/2017 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

famtastic · 03/07/2017 15:38

Oh god I'm feeling cross now! Ok her reply is...

I'm not paying for them to go to the fucking sports centre do you think we are rich? This is why I have to work!!!! We just assumed you wouldn't mind helping us out that's what friends do! It's not like our kids are little Daniel is almost 14 they won't be any trouble! Will be nice for your kids too. Ok fine if you have to go away the first week then il have to sort something out won't we! I feel very hurt and let down too.

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 03/07/2017 15:38

Cheeky. Very cheeky. Stand your ground.

livefornaps · 03/07/2017 15:39

Oh, just say "Monday is now a no-go." And then don't reply again.

Beyond belief.

Do not have this woman's children in your house.

Northernpowerhouse · 03/07/2017 15:40

Cheeky Cah!!!

honeysucklejasmine · 03/07/2017 15:40

Ffs! "Do you think I am a SAHM because we're millionaires and i secretly want to be a childminder? Fuck off, won't see you or your kids Monday."

Anatidae · 03/07/2017 15:40

They assumed??? Assumed you'd have her kids from 6:30 daily??? That's some serious brass neck.

Don't back down op!

skyyequake · 03/07/2017 15:40

Wtf??? You don't just assume people will drop everything to look after your kids!

rainbowpie · 03/07/2017 15:40

Ok fine if you have to go away the first week then il have to sort something out

So is she expecting you to do other weeks??

Yvetteballs · 03/07/2017 15:40

Hurt by what? You hadn't agreed to anything.

MummyVicky1988 · 03/07/2017 15:40

I can't believe the reply - cheeky mare! Friends my arse! Good on you Famtastic for standing your ground! Can't wait to hear further replies...!

DAMNgina · 03/07/2017 15:40

"The first week" Uh -oh...

TB - Monday is the ONLY day in the holidays we will do and we are not friends.