Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

[famtastic]

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

Oh I'd also be very clear if you do plan on still doing the Monday that they are to be collected as planned by 10.30 as you have plans for the afternoon.

Oh and she's to send them with snacks because you're not running a free crèche. If her kids want feeding, it's her responsibility. (And her husbands)

Reply "No, only Monday was mentioned to me, I was never able to do the whole week and would have said so if I had been asked (which I wasn't). Still, at least you have a couple of weeks to get some proper, reliable childcare sorted out for the summer. Good thing for you that I double-checked."

I had no idea you expected me to have them all week. It was never discussed. I won't be at home for the rest of that week so I really can't help. I also have other plans in place during the holidays, so it would be better all round if I don't commit to any further days.

Oh dear this isn't going to end well.

How fucking rude is she suggesting that you change your own holiday so she can go to work

Just say I haven't known about it for weeks, I have known about the Monday and kept it free accordingly. I suggest you find a childminder for any childcare you need over the holidays as I will be out and about with the kids and not available to do it for you.

Favours are what you do for friends or nice people. Not piss-takers!

Haha, @questioningeverything - you & me both!!!

Although to be fair - even if they saw the thread - so what?? They'll just see that about seven million people think they're bang out of order and it's hardly the type of thing you'd admit to, is it? Hi, I'm Entitled Childcare wanker of mumsnet fame extends hand for handshake

"No" , just "no"... this is a key point in how they will treat you for the next eight years OP, you know this

Withdraw completely - get your husband to ring them if you must.

And/or send her a link to this thread.

Your next reply needs to be "since you've taken that attitude I now find myself unable to do Monday either'
And no further replies.

I wouldnt do monday either. Back away from this user

I didn't know of anything, I was asked for the odd favour. Then asked for possible help the Monday the 17th. That is as far as it goes. I can't commit to anything else and no I can not change my plans. I feel quite hurt you have reacted this way. I think The sports centre still has holiday club places.

My reply

If all they do sit on a sofa for a few hours, can't the parents just take them into work? I'd be very tempted to tell them that.

Send Wine message but substitute "I don't remember any discussion with you" with "I haven't discussed this with you...", that way you don't invite a discussion on you having forgotten

DancesWithOtters said it better than I did.

Cheeky isn't the fucking word!
Please tell her to FTFOTFOSM

Good grief! 😲 at the sheer audacity.

Need update.....

Well done OP

Your husbands exact words to me were "we might need a few favours over the holidays can you look after the children 6.30-10.30 on the first Monday?"

This is what I agreed to.
And you will need to collect them at 11 because I'm going out then.

I would ask her precisely when she thinks you were asked about this, put her on the spot because, obviously, she will have no answer because you were never asked! Then point out how rude it is to make such huge assumptions and that it's doubly rude to then attempt to make you feel guilty about it. I would finish by saying you think it might be best if she makes other arrangements for Monday as well as the rest of the week to avoid any further 'misunderstandings' (said with heavy sarcasm).

Well done Famtastic

Well done!

Good text, OP. She will of course not leave it there and play the victim, but her childcare is 100% NOT your problem. You are already doing her a favour by covering Monday. If she tries to guilt-trip you, read back through the responses on here!

Overinvested. Sitting here hitting refresh ignoring my kids pleas for snacks because I need to see what the cow replies.

SAy "who did you confirm with?
Your dh said you may need a favour and mentioned monday. I have kept monday free. I don't why you would think i would look after your kid for the whole week. I am not home the rest of the week as i am visiting family, i very nicely kept mon free for you. If you stoill want me to let me know, if not thats fine."

Cross post, good reply!