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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
AvoidingCallenetics · 03/07/2017 15:11

Just seen the update. Text her back now and put a stop to it.

DancesWithOtters · 03/07/2017 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wherearemymarbles · 03/07/2017 15:12

Confirmed, not by you!!
If you cant, suggest your husband replies on your phone!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 03/07/2017 15:12

Reply "As confirmed with who? I only agreed to do Monday as it was a favour. I'm busy for the rest of the school holidays and you need to sort out alternative child care for your children".

ElleMcElle · 03/07/2017 15:12

ALL THAT WEEK?! Erm. No.

"We only discussed the Monday - which is the only day I can do over the holidays, I'm afraid. You will need to make other arrangements for the rest of the week."

Lancelottie · 03/07/2017 15:13

Oops, missed a bit:

'7 a.m.! I'm not getting up at that time on the first day of the holidays. I can have them from 8:30, Monday only. Can't believe you thought I'd do all week.'

Alice786 · 03/07/2017 15:13

I don't know why you feel so obliged to have them. Such obnoxious people how dare they assume and tell others without checking with you first. I would not feel bad at all about turning them flat down. Speak to them yourself and put them straight. You need to stand up for yourself. People like them you give them and inch they will take over. Don't stand for it!

Mulledwine1 · 03/07/2017 15:13

Yes, text right back and say - "I am afraid I am only free on Monday. I am away for the rest of that week and have plans the rest of the holidays. See you on the Monday x"

Lancelottie · 03/07/2017 15:13

Go go go, OP. Just send it. None of this is your fault.

Mulledwine1 · 03/07/2017 15:14

PS the kiss is not compulsory!

TheWildOnes · 03/07/2017 15:14

Wow! The cheek.

Just say you can only do Monday as agreed and you are going away the Tuesday anyway aren't you?

SaneAsABoxOfFrogs · 03/07/2017 15:15

Reply NOW.

Your husband only asked for me to look after the children on Monday. I have plans the rest of the week.

Do NOT say sorry. Do NOT say you'd love to but...

famtastic · 03/07/2017 15:15

I have replied no sorry I only knew about the Monday, I am away the rest of that week. Hope you get sorted.

Her reply was

you have known about this for weeks!!! How could you do this to us at such sort notice now what do we do? Can't you change your plans? I have to go to work, but you are in surely it's no big deal they sit on your sofa a few hours!!!!

OP posts:
DancesWithOtters · 03/07/2017 15:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOutOfPractice · 03/07/2017 15:17

Bloody hellfire!

Text straight back and say "Not confirmed with me. Can only do Monday."

She will not take that lying down of course

ohtheholidays · 03/07/2017 15:17

Bloody Hell OP WOMEN UP AND NOW!!

How come it's now gone from 3 1/2 hours upto 5 hours?
You said the Dad gets home at 10.30 is the Mum now saying 2 so the Dad can go home and have some sleep?

alicemalice · 03/07/2017 15:17

No way.

Is this a wind up?

No one can be that cheeky!

Mulledwine1 · 03/07/2017 15:17

Most parents meticulously plan and pay for childcare

Yes when ds was smaller and needed care (and I was working in an office rather than at home, as I do now) I used to make a grid for every day of the school holidays and fill in every day with an activity, holiday, me having time off, DH having time off, my mum helping, whatever. So I knew that the entire holidays were accounted for and I wasn't going to have any last minute crises.

NO WAY would I have asked anyone to look after ds for more than a couple of hours.

thepatchworkcat · 03/07/2017 15:17

Shock don't do it, don't do it! Be very clear. Your husband asked me for Monday and that is all I can do.

BitOutOfPractice · 03/07/2017 15:17

Reply: "I suggest you pay for childcare like everyone else."

cafetea · 03/07/2017 15:17

just reply that 'I had not agreed to this so I wont be looking after your children. Please do not contact me again on this matter. Have a nice summer'

rollonthesummer · 03/07/2017 15:18

I thought your OP said it was until 10.30? What have you replied?

Questioningeverything · 03/07/2017 15:19

Wow she expects you to be her free child care and have added expense of not going away for the week (and swallow the costs of that) and she's acting like it's your problem?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA would be my response

Jackabilly13 · 03/07/2017 15:19

You have only heard this second hand. But have a "Plan B" ready. You have other commitments. You are already going to see your relatives in the Isle of Man. You have got to go into work for a few days to catch up on mandatory training. My instinct is to scupper their plans, by using their casual unprepardness. After all, if you'd been told, well in advance, you could have accommodated them. Maybe? But now, it's a bit late, and hey ho, who's fault is that? ;-) Hope it goes in your favour.

RuggerHug · 03/07/2017 15:20

I never agreed and never confirmed. Good thing I did you a favour by messaging you to check, now you have time to sort it out properly. You're welcome!