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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was my DH BU for making the neighbour wash his dog's piss off our car?

385 replies

Worriedaboutsmear · 02/07/2017 13:03

We have a neighbour about 4 doors away who has several dogs and is often seen walking past our house taking his dogs out. He's never spoken to us since we moved here 3 years ago, never smiled back, and if we are outside when he is walking past, he looks at the pavement. He does seem to talk to some of the other neighbours

A few weeks ago both DH and I were at home during the day, when said neighbour walked one of his dogs past. We just happened to be looking out the front window (as you do when you notice someone walking past), when we saw the dog lifting his leg and pissing against one of our rear car wheels and the bottom part of the bumper . The neighbour didn't seem to make any attempt to tug at his collar, he just carried on looking at the pavement, and so the dog carried on until he was finished. The neighbour then proceeded to carry on with his walk.

DH's instant reaction was to knock on the window to stop the neighbour from walking on, and gestured to him (like a "what are you doing" kind of gesture), he then went outside while I stayed inside.

I saw them have a few words, which was DH pointing at the car and not looking very happy, the neighbour appeared to be shrugging but apologising, and then went back to the direction of his house.

DH came back in and said that he politely asked him to make sure his dog doesn't do his business on our car again and that he wants it washing off. I'm not as assertive as DH so I told him that it wasn't necesssary to get him to wash it off, as long as he tries to not let his dog do it again, but DH's view was that if he was someone that actually acknowledged us from time to time rather than ignoring our existence then he would've taken that view, but why should we when he clearly doesn't like us etc etc

The neighbour appeared about 2 mins later just with his wife now and a bucket and brush.
Whilst washing it off they didn't look up.

Ever since then, the neighbour has gone from not much acknowledging us, to now grimacing at us, staring across at our house when he walks past, and furthermore, making a point of crossing the road just before he gets to our house and then crossing back to this side once past our house.

Could I kindly just ask for the general consensus of who WBU here, should my DH not have said anything and/or not asked him to wash it off? I said to my DH that maybe he felt humiliated but DH said that it's arrogant of him to think his dog can piss where ever he likes and not accept the consequences if it's against someone else's personal property.

OP posts:
SumThucker · 02/07/2017 20:24

I'd have asked him to ensure his dog didn't pissed on my car and accepted an apology.

Making him clean it is pathetic.

SumThucker · 02/07/2017 20:25

*piss, obviously.

InfiniteCurve · 02/07/2017 21:53

Asking someone to wash dog pee off a tyre/ alloy wheel / bumper?
That's just silly!
It's a car,fgs,they go outside through mud and whatever grot is on the road.

StickThatInYourPipe · 02/07/2017 23:17

infinate agreed

StickThatInYourPipe · 02/07/2017 23:18

Infinite ahhhhh sorry!

rwalker · 02/07/2017 23:54

stick the neighbour is a dick for letting his dog go on someone else drive and piss on there car .Not sure if he would of aplogised gone and got his wife if he,d hadn't been challenged .The fact it,s a wheel does not make any difference the man was in charge of his dog had no respect for other peoples property by letting it go onto there drive and let it piss on his car . Would be equally annoyed if someone walking there dog let it piss in my garden it's all about manners and respecting other peoples property

Dahlietta · 03/07/2017 01:01

Why not try and make friends with him now?
I think that horse may have bolted...

BeaderBird · 03/07/2017 03:44

The washing off was unreasonable. What a joke! Get a grip OP and Husband!

sofato5miles · 03/07/2017 03:59

OP if your husband had demanded that I wash off the dog pee, there would have been a bucket if water thrown very insolently in It's vague direction.

His reaction was far too aggressive and I would respond to the aggression rather than the message.

What car has he got?

MyheartbelongstoG · 03/07/2017 04:10

Your husband sounds like a twat and you probably run behind him agreeing with everything he does.

LittleBooInABox · 03/07/2017 06:28

Really?

It's probably a bad time to tell you this OP but dogs pee up things all the time. It's probably happened loads when your not looking by various dogs. No damage has happened yet.

Also the height in which a dog can lift his leg would get a tiny piece of the car, mainly the wheel.

Your DH was being a twat. I'd have apologised but I wouldn't be washing it off.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 03/07/2017 06:47

Why on earth do people have to accept having the urine of an animal that is within a human's control on their property because said human CBA to keep it under control?

I don't want dog piss on my stuff. I hate, hate, hate that I can't let my dc brush against walls, trees, etc. in some areas, just enjoy their space because I know that if they do they will come into contact with dog piss. And this 'suck it up' attitude baffles me.

So, going against the grain, OP, your dh was NBU.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 03/07/2017 06:51

I don't understand why people are saying it wasn't OK for the neighbour to let the dog do it, but it also wasn't OK for the dh to ask him to clean it off. That's a contradiction in terms. Either it's fine for the man to let his dog piss wherever it chooses (urgh) or it's not fine and he needs to accept the consequences. We teach our dc that if they recklessly make a mess somewhere, esp on someone else's property, they should clean it up, surely? Why then should an adult be let off the hook? Confused

ElfEars · 03/07/2017 07:12

Your neighbour was wrong to let his dog go on your drive. But it sounds like your husband's main issue is that he wants everyone to be his friend. Your neighbour may now spread the word that your husband is barking and you may find many more of your neighbours ignoring you.

We just happened to be looking out the front window (as you do when you notice someone walking past)
My grandparents used to do this, dive up out of their chairs everything someone walked past their house. Everyone thought they were crazy.

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 03/07/2017 07:33

Haybales OP said herself that her DH would have let it go had the neighbour been friendlier to them and it was because he wasn't that DH decided to humiliate him!! I would be ashamed of my DH if he had ordered someone to wash the wheels of his car. It reeks of superiority and bullying - no doubt the big man got a kick out of it. Asking to not let it happen again is sufficient.

Stopnamechanging · 03/07/2017 08:38

I don't want dog piss on my stuff. I hate, hate, hate that I can't let my dc brush against walls, trees, etc. in some areas, just enjoy their space because I know that if they do they will come into contact with dog piss. And this 'suck it up' attitude baffles me

You sound absolutely paranoid and bizarre. You do know that humans produce far more things toxic to your sterile environment don't you?

You don't let your dc brush against trees because of your hysteria?

It's not your dc space by the way, unfortunately for you, this world is to be shared with all sorts of animals and creatures.

Stopnamechanging · 03/07/2017 08:40

HeteronormativeHaybales are you the dh or did you join/change names just to post on a dog wee thread? Confused

Bluntness100 · 03/07/2017 08:48

I don't want dog piss on my stuff. I hate, hate, hate that I can't let my dc brush against walls, trees, etc. in some areas, just enjoy their space because I know that if they do they will come into contact with dog piss

That's quite extreme and unusual. Are you like this with other things i.e. Do you insist on sterility elsewhere?

deffoncforthis · 03/07/2017 09:00

Is precious car a BMW? DH was massively BU a car wheel is dirtier than an actual toilet. I think there are only 2 reasons anyone would comply with such an unreasonable request - either they're intimidated, or they're humouring you/him for neighbourly relations.

Also one other thing struck me as weird... I have never, ever met a man who would be upset by neighbours "not acknowledging" them. [hrm]

deffoncforthis · 03/07/2017 09:02
Hmm
SemiNormal · 03/07/2017 09:10

I don't want dog piss on my stuff. I hate, hate, hate that I can't let my dc brush against walls, trees - That you Natalie Appleton?

brexitstolemyfuture · 03/07/2017 09:12

I wouldn't be surprised if you found a brick through the car window one morning .

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 03/07/2017 09:18

I don't want dog piss on my stuff. I hate, hate, hate that I can't let my dc brush against walls, trees, etc. in some areas, just enjoy their space because I know that if they do they will come into contact with dog piss. And this 'suck it up' attitude baffles me

Yes, because no human ever had a "free range" wee or poo. Plenty of toddlers doing it in the park, and even the occasional mum or two.

NoBetterName · 03/07/2017 09:27

I think I've sussed it....

The op is Kate Middleton and the "neighbour" is in fact, a member of staff who refuses to doff his cap to his boss (Wills), so when said member of staff let his common dog piddle against the wheel of the Rolls, Wills has ordered that the staff member cleans it Grin

In that case, it puts an entirely different spin on things, OP. Of course the staff should greet you and follow your orders.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 03/07/2017 13:30

'HeteronormativeHaybales are you the dh or did you join/change names just to post on a dog wee thread? confused '

Grin I've been around for a while under this name and well over a decade under others!
But I'm clearly the dh. Also paranoid, bizarre and insistent on sterility. Will have to mention that to me dc next time they come in covered in mud from the garden. Where no dogs wee.

Gotta love MN! Grin