Was my DH BU for making the neighbour wash his dog's piss off our car?

[Worriedaboutsmear]

We have a neighbour about 4 doors away who has several dogs and is often seen walking past our house taking his dogs out. He's never spoken to us since we moved here 3 years ago, never smiled back, and if we are outside when he is walking past, he looks at the pavement. He does seem to talk to some of the other neighbours

A few weeks ago both DH and I were at home during the day, when said neighbour walked one of his dogs past. We just happened to be looking out the front window (as you do when you notice someone walking past), when we saw the dog lifting his leg and pissing against one of our rear car wheels and the bottom part of the bumper . The neighbour didn't seem to make any attempt to tug at his collar, he just carried on looking at the pavement, and so the dog carried on until he was finished. The neighbour then proceeded to carry on with his walk.

DH's instant reaction was to knock on the window to stop the neighbour from walking on, and gestured to him (like a "what are you doing" kind of gesture), he then went outside while I stayed inside.

I saw them have a few words, which was DH pointing at the car and not looking very happy, the neighbour appeared to be shrugging but apologising, and then went back to the direction of his house.

DH came back in and said that he politely asked him to make sure his dog doesn't do his business on our car again and that he wants it washing off. I'm not as assertive as DH so I told him that it wasn't necesssary to get him to wash it off, as long as he tries to not let his dog do it again, but DH's view was that if he was someone that actually acknowledged us from time to time rather than ignoring our existence then he would've taken that view, but why should we when he clearly doesn't like us etc etc

The neighbour appeared about 2 mins later just with his wife now and a bucket and brush.
Whilst washing it off they didn't look up.

Ever since then, the neighbour has gone from not much acknowledging us, to now grimacing at us, staring across at our house when he walks past, and furthermore, making a point of crossing the road just before he gets to our house and then crossing back to this side once past our house.

Could I kindly just ask for the general consensus of who WBU here, should my DH not have said anything and/or not asked him to wash it off? I said to my DH that maybe he felt humiliated but DH said that it's arrogant of him to think his dog can piss where ever he likes and not accept the consequences if it's against someone else's personal property.

To my dc. Obviously.

I don't understand why people are saying it wasn't OK for the neighbour to let the dog do it, but it also wasn't OK for the dh to ask him to clean it off.

It really isn't. Neighbour should have pulled his dog back when he peed.
Arrogant DH shouldn't have gone out and lorded it over him whilst he brushed it off with his wife watching. Nothing contradictory about it.

You'd get twatted for a lot less where I live.

As a pp said. Cars drive through much worse everyday. I used to work in the city and walk home very late at night. The wights you'd see you'd be getting more than dog wee on your tyres! Then again, I suppose you cant pinpoint the suspect out of a crowd and make them wash it off without being lamped one

*sights

I wouldn't have demanded he cleaned it off the first time but if it kept happening I would have to have a word. I have been really annoyed that someone let their dog do that.
It's not cute and it's extremely rude. Nobody wants dog piss or poo on their stuff (unless they're one of these dog lovers that probably thinks it's adorable )

Washing it off is a bit ott! I would have asked him to not let him do it and that's that. You do realise your car wheels probably touch all kinds of horrible stuff when you are driving around??

Does your DH police every animal related urination on your car?
Parked on drive, yes there's a problem re trespass. Parked on the road? Nah. It ain't nice but ..,meh.
What if you or your husband drives over horse poo or roadkill.
Is there a problem with odour? Are you sure this is the only animal that weed on your car? Make cat out on a spree (and spray?).

It was absolutely not OK for the neighbour to let his dog pee there.
But I do think your dh's reaction was OTT and possibly a bit nasty.

There's something about your description of the neighbour that makes me feel deeply uncomfortable about the situation. I might be wrong, but the general behaviour of the neighbour doesn't sound like someone who is unfriendly or didn't like you- it sounds like someone who is incredibly shy and awkward. Maybe severe social anxiety. If the neighbour was such a twat, I don't think he would have done as your dh ordered within 2 minutes of being asked.

So now I am picturing a very easily intimidated, shy person being forced to wash his dog's piss off in front of your "assertive" dh and yourself. And you admitted that your dh wouldn't have insisted on it if the guy smiled back more - so he is singling him out for a punishment he wouldn't dish out to others simply because the neighbour looks down at the ground a lot. Which does sound like something a bully would do, tbh.

I originally posted saying I could see both sides. However I do think that it was OTT.

Could it be worth knocking or popping a note through their door (he sounds like he may suffer from anxiety so may not answer if home) just to say it was an OTT reaction in the heat if the moment that you apologise for and thank you for not allowing your dog to do it since. Have a lovely week".

YANBU
It would have needed to be washed off anyway, so why should you have to do it? I'd also be cross that the neighbour did nothing about the dog peeing on it in the first place - shows total disregard for others. Good for your OH.

It is not so long since dog owners got away with their dogs poo ing all over the streets and now they have to lift poo or they get a fine.
I did not understand why it then became wrong for a dog to poo but ok for it to pee everywhere. As well as carrying the poo bags could dog owners not carry a disinfectant spray to spray where their dogs pee.
Dog owners seem to think it is OK for the whole world to be forced to tolerate their dogs' messes and no-one must criticise that.
I am a cat owner who uses litter boxes so I do clean up after my animals and don't see why dog owners cant do similar.
Safety of children in parks and streets outweighs any dog's right to mess indescriminately

If someone squirted disinfectant on my car paintwork I would be VERY pissed off. Cat owner here too. And I remember dog poo at every corner.

Anyone would think that all these adorable little humans didn't ever create mess or litter. The sanctimony of being higher up the pecking order I suppose.

Totally unnecessary to get him to wash it off

I did not mean that bleach or anything so strong should be sprayed on any car. Maybe a diluted solution of something.

Stopnamechanging - I use the proper facilities for the disposal of my own poo and pee. I had children who were in nappies until they learned to use the facilities too. My cats use their own facilities. Dogs you seem to suggest should be allowed to do whatever they like aided to foul other peoples' properties and public spaces.

Good for your husband - no way would I want the smell of dog pee on my driveway (or my car)

Shewhomustgowithoutname

Where did I suggest that?

The damage that your wonderful little darlings will do to the environment over their lifetime is far worse than a bit of dog wee.

As I say, the sanctimony of humans.

Maybe you built the sewerage system that you use but I am pretty sure that you came along and it was all done for you.

That's the thing about animals, they don't have the same facilities.

Don't hate on dogs when it's an issue with the owner.

The crux of the matter still is that the alpha male apparently would have said nothing if the neighbour had smiled at him previously.

So it's really about that, not even dog wee against a tyre.

Rude of your neighbour op, my dogs attempt this but I drag them away.

It would be worse, courtyard neighbours used to bring their dog across the courtyard - which they did not even own - put their dog on my dry stone wall, groom and clip it and throw the clippings into my garden. When I knocked and shouted at them they looked astonished at my rudeness in depriving them of their "rights". Nightmare entitled tossers.

I now do the no eye contact thing when I see them because I like to pretend it is a horrible apparition.

I wish i was brave enough to ask the guy who lets his dog sh*t at the bottom of my path at least once a week that same thing. He started letting the dog do it in front of someone else's path up the road- they drew a chalk circle round it with the words clean it up.... I don't think your DH was being unreasonable to ask him to wash it off btw, especially if your car was that far up your drive as you've said.

Just because your husband makes an effort to talk to everyone on your street and your neighbour doesn't doesn't make him a bad guy.Some people just don't like interacting with others and it doesn't mean he doesn't like you or have any opinion in particular about you or your dh.
I do think your neighbour was in the wrong for letting his dog pee on your car and good on your dh for confronting him but to ask him to wash it off is pathetic imo.Theyre both adults and I think it's a bit patronising and some things are just better left unsaid to keep peace .Hes now created an issue with your family and his and really what over ? Dog piss on your car when he did apologise

Sounds a bit ott if you ask me. Totally fine to ask him not to do it again but washing it off....seriously??? It was a car wheel not a sandwich! Your husband seems a bit much to me but maybe he was having a bad day

Sorry but on first reading the OP your DH comes off as a bully and an utter dick. Birds poo on cars, cats spray on them, bugs die on them and dogs wee on them. Luckily dog wee is the only one that comes off in the next rain!

Reading on, you say that the car was on your drive, which does make a difference - dogs pee on anything on the street / pavement and it does no harm but allowing them to cross onto private property is not on and fair enough giving him a telling off over it.

But telling the neighbour to wash it off? Hardly necessary since it rains virtually nonstop in this country and only serves to humiliate the guy. Not surprised he's avoiding you both like the plague!

I think you DH was right. My neighbours have cats which shit all over our drive, piss by my front door and poo in my flower boarder by my front door and it totally pisses my right off. If my neighbour was to stand by my car with his dog and let it piss over my car I was be furious, especially as they don't have the common decency to tug the dog away and let it piss against a tree! I've got in my car when neighbours cat have pissed over the tyres and the car has smelt disgusting. How would your neighbour feel, don't think for one moment that they would have been happy to stand at their window and watch your dog piss over their car with you standing watching it. What's wrong with people they have no respect for other people's property. My neighbour doesn't even like anyone walking near his car!! Now that's a complete TWAT!

I'd not let my dog wee on a car in the first place

How do you know what some random is spraying on your car as disinfectant?

You can tell who the dog owners are. Your husband had every right to ask for his car to be cleaned. It's in no way bu to ask someone to wash off their dog's p*ss/poo off your property.