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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was my DH BU for making the neighbour wash his dog's piss off our car?

385 replies

Worriedaboutsmear · 02/07/2017 13:03

We have a neighbour about 4 doors away who has several dogs and is often seen walking past our house taking his dogs out. He's never spoken to us since we moved here 3 years ago, never smiled back, and if we are outside when he is walking past, he looks at the pavement. He does seem to talk to some of the other neighbours

A few weeks ago both DH and I were at home during the day, when said neighbour walked one of his dogs past. We just happened to be looking out the front window (as you do when you notice someone walking past), when we saw the dog lifting his leg and pissing against one of our rear car wheels and the bottom part of the bumper . The neighbour didn't seem to make any attempt to tug at his collar, he just carried on looking at the pavement, and so the dog carried on until he was finished. The neighbour then proceeded to carry on with his walk.

DH's instant reaction was to knock on the window to stop the neighbour from walking on, and gestured to him (like a "what are you doing" kind of gesture), he then went outside while I stayed inside.

I saw them have a few words, which was DH pointing at the car and not looking very happy, the neighbour appeared to be shrugging but apologising, and then went back to the direction of his house.

DH came back in and said that he politely asked him to make sure his dog doesn't do his business on our car again and that he wants it washing off. I'm not as assertive as DH so I told him that it wasn't necesssary to get him to wash it off, as long as he tries to not let his dog do it again, but DH's view was that if he was someone that actually acknowledged us from time to time rather than ignoring our existence then he would've taken that view, but why should we when he clearly doesn't like us etc etc

The neighbour appeared about 2 mins later just with his wife now and a bucket and brush.
Whilst washing it off they didn't look up.

Ever since then, the neighbour has gone from not much acknowledging us, to now grimacing at us, staring across at our house when he walks past, and furthermore, making a point of crossing the road just before he gets to our house and then crossing back to this side once past our house.

Could I kindly just ask for the general consensus of who WBU here, should my DH not have said anything and/or not asked him to wash it off? I said to my DH that maybe he felt humiliated but DH said that it's arrogant of him to think his dog can piss where ever he likes and not accept the consequences if it's against someone else's personal property.

OP posts:
SemiNormal · 02/07/2017 17:58

More to the point, he is your DH- support him - is that you Tammy Wynette? Biscuit

NoBetterName · 02/07/2017 18:01

How ingrained was the piss into the car anyway that it required buckets and brushes to get it off, rather than just a bucket of clean water thrown over the area where the dog piddled?

Did your husband check that they didn't scratch his car whilst cleaning it? Or perhaps insisting your neighbour pay for a full professional valet would have been the way to go? Much less risky.

You don't drive Audi's by any chance do you?

Megbert · 02/07/2017 18:12

Semi :o

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman...
Rinsin' off the dog piss with your man...

ArchieStar · 02/07/2017 18:13

As a dog owner I would have refused to wash your car. But then again I would not have let my dog on your drive in the first place so that point is moot. Dog owner shouldn't have let dog on drive, your DH shouldn't have insisted he wash it, a warning would've been enough.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 02/07/2017 18:20

More to the point, he is your DH- support him

Good God, have I transported back to the 1950s?

AwaywiththePixies27 · 02/07/2017 18:22

How ingrained was the piss into the car anyway that it required buckets and brushes to get it off, rather than just a bucket of clean water thrown over the area where the dog piddled?

Well it happened two minutes before the DH flew out to obviously scold him like a child to have a polite word with him. So not very I imagine. But you know what blokes are like with their cars and their alpha maleing.

KoalaDownUnder · 02/07/2017 18:28

It's a tyre: the thing that goes round and round on a filthy road. It's not as if the dog laid a turd on your car seat. Confused

Let's be honest, nobody cares that much about wee on a tyre. Your DH saw the opportunity to be petty and self-righteous, and jumped at it.

Medeci · 02/07/2017 18:32

Fair enough to ask neighbours not to let dog piss over his car again, but ridiculous asking them to wash it off. He sounds like a bullying weirdo.
It'd only take two minutes for your DH to chuck some water over it if he's that bothered.

ImaLannister · 02/07/2017 18:32

When I walk my dog he cocks his leg and pees on car wheels, cars parked on the kerb. It's what dogs do. I don't even think to wash it off, I just walk and carry on after. No one has ever come out to me to tell me off about it.

BarbarianMum · 02/07/2017 19:20

In what world is it OK to let you dog piss in other people's cars? If my dog did that I'd be offering to wash it off.

Good on your dh for standing up to him. Some people on here need to look up the definition of "bullying" if they think this is it.

Stopnamechanging · 02/07/2017 19:28

I looked it up

Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force them to do something.
‘a local man was bullied into helping them’

BarbarianMum · 02/07/2017 19:34

So that no way describes what the OPs dh did then. He asked - neighbour could have gone home and read the paper.

tropicalfish · 02/07/2017 19:34

I once saw a dog cocking it's leg and pissing on restaurant lunch offer sign on the pavement which the dog owner ignored.

Woody67 · 02/07/2017 19:37

The neighbour shouldn't have let the dog piss on your car and your husband wnu asking him to stop his dog doing it again. I think asking the neighbour to wash it off makes him look like a dick though. If I were the neighbour I would have thrown a bucket of dirty water over the car!

PratStick · 02/07/2017 19:41

Your dh was being a bully.

Stopnamechanging · 02/07/2017 19:42

Today 19:34 BarbarianMum

So that no way describes what the OPs dh did then. He asked - neighbour could have gone home and read the paper

Well in that case bullying mustn't exist anywhere as everyone could go home and read the paper rather than feeling intimidated to do something.

The disablist post by the op when she was sneering about people with autism made it quite clear to me what sort of people they are.

StickThatInYourPipe · 02/07/2017 19:51

Today 19:34 BarbarianMum

So that no way describes what the OPs dh did then. He asked - neighbour could have gone home and read the paper

Well in that case bullying mustn't exist anywhere as everyone could go home and read the paper rather than feeling intimidated to do something

The disablist post by the op when she was sneering about people with autism made it quite clear to me what sort of people they are

The OP has also suggested there would be consequences if the neighbour had refused!

IrianOfW · 02/07/2017 19:53

I am afraid your DH, who I am sure is normally a lovely man, acted like an intolerant self-righteous prick. I wouldn't have let my dog go onto your property but regardless,ba bit of piss is NOT the same thing as a turd and would have been rinsed off soon enough.

What do you dislike more, your unassuming neighbour, or dogs in general?

ForalltheSaints · 02/07/2017 19:55

I think your DH made the right decision, given the neighbour made no effort to stop the dog. More because it sends a message and may stop the dog's being allowed to do worse things elsewhere, I hope.

rwalker · 02/07/2017 19:55

i'm shocked at responses the neighbour basically stood there and LET his dog piss over someone else property .Why should,t he clean it up . I work very hard to pay for my car and don't want dog pissing on it surely that is not so unreasonable .Why was he a dick for making him wash it off ?. why should he have to do it himself . Any responsible dog owner wouldn't let his dog on to other people drives and gardens anyway

StickThatInYourPipe · 02/07/2017 20:04

rewalker but can you explain why the neighbour is a dick for apologising, cleaning it up and now avoiding a repeat of the dog weeing anywhere near their property by crossing the street to avoid the house?

Also it's a wheel! It goes all over shit and piss all the time! I rest could not get pissed off about this and the only animals I have are house cats! So not a dog owner!

oblada · 02/07/2017 20:11

Those who do not want dog piss on their car: put it in your garage and never drive or park on public roads... Seriously! I wouldn't let my dog walk up a drive and I would tug at him if he cocked his leg on a car but realistically I can't stop it all the time. Dogs are going to piss on cars and boundary walls, tough shit! Cats are much worse tho as they go and shit in people's garden! That really pisses me off! :)
As for the OP's DH - that was shifty behaviour just because the neighbour isn't chatty to them! It would have been an overaction in the first place but it's even more twatty since he only did it because he thinks the neighbour doesn't like him, without any evidence of that or most importantly without the neighbours having done anything wrong in the first bloody place! How bloody intolerant!

oblada · 02/07/2017 20:12

I meant shitty, not shifty! Bloody autocorrect!

Binkybix · 02/07/2017 20:14

Over the top and self righteous to ask him to clean it off. Not over the top to tell him it wasn't in and to make sure he didn't do it again.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 02/07/2017 20:23

It's all so precious, to have all this worries about dog wee on a tyre. Cars drive through much worse every day.

Just bizarre, the horrible bullying apart.