To be scared she is going to kill me and steal my family?

[mrsMmrsIMrsSSI]

My first ever post on here (many NC's ago) was about my really obnoxious neighbour who harassed me by knocking, texting, Facebook messaging at least 5 times a day.
I plucked up the courage one day to tell her to fuck off and she stopped for just under a month.
I feel like I'm going crazy she keeps copying little things and I know she's doing it and she knows she's doing it and it's creeping me out - here is a list of examples of her fucking weird behaviour.

• when she sees DS has new clothes she buys her DS them too. For example the same little pair of trainers, parka, hats, etc.
• she bought the same pram. Even in the same colour.
• she dyed her hair to the same (fairly unusual) colour, a week after I did mine. --Cost me a bomb and I put a box dye over it a few weeks later

--- I lied through my teeth about DS's primary school applications as I knew she'd copy. And she did. In the same exact order.

• she bought my winter coat.
• her husband bought my partner's motorbike DESPITE not even having a license, claiming he was going to get one, it sits redundant outside their house but meant she could come over to ours with mundane questions about it for weeks.
• she started shopping where I shop.
• signed up to the same GP, despite being with her practice since she was a child.
• signed her DS up for same hobby class as my DS.
• she knowingly exposed my children to chicken pox and then was very dismissive of it.

And then today to top it all off she announced she's calling her new baby the same name as my baby with one letter difference.
So it would be equivalent of Harley and Harvey. It's not those names but that kind of idea.
DP thinks it's creepy but also really funny but seriously wtf else are you going to do? We are moving next March purely because of her. I can't bare it any longer she's hysterical but so so suffocating!!

OP-how did you get from telling this woman to F off, to being close enough to share school lists and know she's driven 70 miles to collect a buggy? What happened in between?

I expect that the NDN told her about the buggy and asked her about the schools.

I am still not seeing where people are making the leap to MH issues and violent, dangerous stalkers. Several of the things the OP mentions are normal for neighbours same GP, same school applications, same child's hobby club, same shop for groceries. Some of them are imitative, annoying but harmless hair colour, coat, pushchair. Some of them are annoying/intrusive, like frequent knocking on the door, texting and messaging, but it's possible that from the neighbour's POV, they were good friends until they fell out, and some people do just continually contact their friends and neighbours.

I don't think the OP said the messages were threatening, did she? It seems a big leap to people comparing it to stalkers with shotguns.

I agree some hysterical over reaction on here. Any moment now mnhq will need to start handing out grips.

A lot of this stuff is normal for neighbours. Shopping in the same place? Kids the same age who are friends going to the same school?

However I do think as said this woman is lonely as a sahm, doesn't understand why the op no longer wishes to be her friend and.maybe lacks boundaries. Possibly she has self esteem issues and is not confident in her choices so sometimes copies the op. I'd assume she would be horrified if she knew fully how the op was feeling.

Some of the things mentioned I have done. For example my neighbour and I both use ocado. I'd be gobsmacked if she said I was copying her. However I did copy her, moved in, saw the van, though fuck me that's a good idea, and have used them ever since.

Occassionally someone will have something and I think God, that's gorgeous, I'd love one of them, but I don't because, well I wouldn't want that person to think I'm copying them, but I can see how if you're not confident in your choices you might do it.

I also have friends or acquaintances who have copied me. Something I've bought or done, but I see it as no more that liking the item or idea and fancying it themselves.

I get the ops is cumulative, but as said there is a lot in there that is normal, the issue really is lack of boundaries, lonely sahm, and her not understanding why the op doesn't want to be her friend anymore. I really don't think there is anything sinister, or worth going to the police over.

Right, to clarify.
NDN will do anything for our attention.
So on Saturday night, DP got home from work at 11.45 pm. I opened the door for him as I needed to take stuff to the recycling bin at the end of the road and I only leave the house to go to the bins if he is also at home in case one of the children wake up. She as always opens up her door and looks up and down the street as if she is waiting for someone.
As my DP is about to walk in our house she shouts, 'X your car woke up DD1 as you drove up the street'.
I highly doubt it did, but it was a reason to speak to us. We both ignored.
Yesterday I was taking the DC to the local park and she opened the door as we were leaving again. I didn't say anything nor did she. DS1 waves at her DS. She then says '(my sons name) your mummy needs to pump her pram tyre' I ignored her and carried on.
When I arrived home an hour later she was sitting on her doorstep just watching us as we got in the house. (We are directly opposite - there's about 20ft between our houses)
She volunteers information, I don't ask for it. For example she continually knocked on our door during the applying for schools period asking for 'help' with the application. She also pestered me for my list. So therefore I lied about what order I had put them in. As a result our DC are going to different schools.
She knocked on my door to tell me they were going 70 miles to collect the pram because she wanted me to watch her 2DC whilst she went. She badgers me constantly to watch her children and always asks if I will leave DS2 with her for snuggles (usually when I am about to do the nursery run)
Obviously the OP name is lighthearted. I don't think she is going to kill me but actually the more I think about it I shouldn't be taking this all as a joke. Home is meant to be your safe haven and stress free, yet I feel completely fucking trapped.

Bluntness yes I agree they are normal things to be the same. If it was 1/2/3 things I wouldn't bat an eyelid but it's insane now, it's everything.
Not only copying but then just paired with odd behaviour generally.
I have friends or family stay with us a fair bit and during their stay she will never speak to me but will do the repetitive opening of her door when I open mine and pretend to look up and down the street. She goes in when I do too. As soon as that was person leaves she starts the whole knocking on door shit again. So she knows it's not normal to do it in the presence of others!
If other people are here and they say hi to her as well she completely ignores. Gives them a dirty look in fact. Everybody has commented on it. So I know I am definitely not paranoid.
I have also received a PM from someone describing her experience of this and that it did end up being something very sinister. So yeah, I might be oversensitive to it all, I might be panicking over nothing but I could also be in potential danger. Not to mention it's just really, really irritating

Ok OP. I have a doorbell ring.com/ which records activity.

Get one. It will record all her activity and she won't know it.

Then go to the police for a harassment order.

Hmmm that does sound rather worrying (and really bloody annoying, as you say). I think contact those Paladin people like a pp suggested. See what they suggest. Thank fuck you're moving (March is it?). Don't tell her where to!! Hopefully you will be able to shake her off then. Can you go and visit friends/family a lot over the summer hols to give some respite?

Op, that's awful. You really need to be taking everything down on paper. Times & dates. And get professional help with it. The stalking organisation that has been named, or the police. Immediately.
Can you not bring your move forward at all?

When are you moving OP? Does she know about it?

We can't bring the move forward unfortunately as we have a contract here ending in March, so we would have to find all that rent for those months and still be able to afford to move out!
I am going to phone the helpline when DP takes the children out in the afternoon.
Can't wait for this all to be over!

Whether or not her behaviour is intentional and borne of malice, or she is is just a rather annoying person who has a tendency to copy others, or even if she does have some mental health issues (I'm not implying she does, just that it has been mentioned by other posters), the important thing here is how it is all making you feel. It is clearly having a significant impact on your life and wellbeing. Please contact the organisation that was linked earlier on, and seek advice. They will be able to talk things through with you, and offer advice. Even if it is not considered stalking as such, hopefully they will be able to offer some guidance.

You are determined to argue and sneer Belmontian.

No where did I suggest the GP should rely on that information.

I'm out OP. I think your NDN is aware you are on MN. And is posting as Belmontian.

Did you phone the paladin people OP? What did they say?

I did! They gave me advice (basically a lot of the things people have said on here) they did also say I shouldn't pass it off as low level and not a threat, as it could potentially become very serious.
They've advised speaking to non-emergency police department. Which I think I will do just need to sit down and fully write out a timeline properly.

Glad you got some good advice. And I'm glad about going to the police. i hope they can offer you more support and advice X

Good to hear OP. Also please invest in the door bell a pp had suggested.