To be scared she is going to kill me and steal my family?

[mrsMmrsIMrsSSI]

My first ever post on here (many NC's ago) was about my really obnoxious neighbour who harassed me by knocking, texting, Facebook messaging at least 5 times a day.
I plucked up the courage one day to tell her to fuck off and she stopped for just under a month.
I feel like I'm going crazy she keeps copying little things and I know she's doing it and she knows she's doing it and it's creeping me out - here is a list of examples of her fucking weird behaviour.

• when she sees DS has new clothes she buys her DS them too. For example the same little pair of trainers, parka, hats, etc.
• she bought the same pram. Even in the same colour.
• she dyed her hair to the same (fairly unusual) colour, a week after I did mine. --Cost me a bomb and I put a box dye over it a few weeks later

--- I lied through my teeth about DS's primary school applications as I knew she'd copy. And she did. In the same exact order.

• she bought my winter coat.
• her husband bought my partner's motorbike DESPITE not even having a license, claiming he was going to get one, it sits redundant outside their house but meant she could come over to ours with mundane questions about it for weeks.
• she started shopping where I shop.
• signed up to the same GP, despite being with her practice since she was a child.
• signed her DS up for same hobby class as my DS.
• she knowingly exposed my children to chicken pox and then was very dismissive of it.

And then today to top it all off she announced she's calling her new baby the same name as my baby with one letter difference.
So it would be equivalent of Harley and Harvey. It's not those names but that kind of idea.
DP thinks it's creepy but also really funny but seriously wtf else are you going to do? We are moving next March purely because of her. I can't bare it any longer she's hysterical but so so suffocating!!

I would have a chat with your community police. They will at the very least make a note of your concerns. I would be worried. She sounds obsessive. And you have a right to live in peace.

I think other pp have good ideas as I have no experience. But minimise contact as much as possible. Take care X

Sounds scary.

I'd definetly be documenting things.

The gp thing makes no sense. I mean it makes sense for you to stay there, but for her to move to a practice out of the way...? Unless obviously your gp practice has a specialist in something she needs....

Odd.

You could save yourself some grief by unfriendliness her on Facebook...

OP this sounds familiar - are you the lady whose neighbour / friend intentionally met you and your pregnant friend after having taken her kids to a cpox party and only told you after the meet up?

She sounds scary. And her DP too - who the hell climbs up the side of someone's house?! What if he had fallen?! That's not normal behaviour.

i think i would look into moving if you can - this is seriously screwed up behaviour. her poor children though, they cant move away from their mum yet.

I also think you're as over invested in her as she is you. Much if what you mention isn't bad,,,your kids are really good friends, wanting them to go to the same school is helpful to the kids,

She might just have liked the buggy and possibly was worried about a burglary risk. Maybe she had issues at her old gp surgery so saw yours as a good recommendation,

Sounds like she is trying to be your friend as hard as you are trying for her not to be, possibly as you are neighbours and your kids good friends, maybe she's lonely, who knows. She's obviously not aware you dislike her so intently, but hopefully she will realise and stay away from you and yours.

purplemeggie OP has already posted that she's blocked the woman on social media.

I'm with you OP, she sounds scary! No advice other than to move as quickly as possible.

grey rock. ????

the chicken pox thing is really awful. i would be very unhappy about all of this and keep contact to an absolute minimum. are they going to the same school in september?

I don't think the OP is over investing in this, we have a society that minimises stalking, seeing it as a joke.

The OP is unhappy, and probably has many more examples of the copying.

As for this woman not causing harm? It sounds like pure luck that she hasn't so far. I mean, not telling OP her kids have CP until afterwards? For a child with an immune issue, that could have been very serious.

Whether she's copying you, stalkng you, it doesn't matter because you are unnerved by her, it's severely impacting your health and it has to stop.

She doesn't want it to stop, but you clearly do, so you must take control of this and make big changes. You can't just hope she will change, so you have to.

Cut off her supply of information. Upthread you mentioned that she'd traveled over 70 miles to buy a similar buggy, so obviously you discussed this with her. This is you engaging with her, and it has to end.

Block her, change numbers, blank her, ignore her, tell her nothing. Don't talk about anything you don't want to get back to her in front of your kids. You are feeding her, so cut off from her.

She may ask you what's wrong, tell her you're fine, and repeat.

It takes two to be in the situation, so step back, disengage and ignore the curtain twitching. She'll get the message.

This isn't funny.
I was in a similar position but with an ex boyfriend. I even rang the non emergency police in the end, who were unhelpful.
My friends were very worried and so too were my work colleagues.
It only stopped, although I have no idea if he still drives past my house/work etc., After he tracked down my new partner and sent him some pictures he had off me.
My dp told him never to contact either of us again and if he did, he would come to his house and sort the looser out permanently.
Don't let the neighbours know where you are moving, don't say anything. If they ask lie. Tell them you are having a clear out and if they persist, tell them you are moving on x date when in fact you will already have moved by then.

Is your baby name choice definite? Whose baby is due first?

Stop discussing anything with this women. Get off Facebook too.
Just say hello and walk past.
Move house.
She is in a bad way and her children and DH are probably suffering too.

Bluntness I disagree that she's lonely and just wants to be friends, the neighbour is showing obsessive behaviour. This is unhealthy not just for the OP but actually for the neighbour, she has no boundaries and that is worrying. The neighbour may have line that she would never cross but the OP doesn't know that and she doesn't know what the line is.

The neighbour started the relationship by being super clingy, when the OP told her to stop it the woman did for a short while but then came back and escalated it. The neighbour has shown that she is capable of ramping up her behaviour instead of getting the hint and leaving the OP alone. Even if the escalation is small - it's still escalation.

We were in a similar position with some friends several years ago and I found it quite unnerving.

They copied our car, she copied my clothes, our furniture, called their daughter the same name as my eldest daughter. Copied our holidays - I remember rocking up to the airport and seeing them in the queue

It all came to a head when they tried to copy our wedding date - they weren't even engaged when we booked it.

We never discussed where we bought stuff from but she'd track it down, they saw our car and 2 weeks later had bought the same. My daughter is a year older than theirs

We distanced ourselves and then moved away from the area and don't see them anymore but I know from mutual friends they've done it to others since.

I never found it flattering or funny. Just down right weird. We stopped discussing stuff with them, and talking about where we bought stuff from, but she'd still track it down. At first we came up with all sorts of reasons and explanations, that we were paranoid, but the longer it went on and the more they did it the more unnerving it became.

I'd block her on FB/phones as much as possible and just not engage with her at all - just a quick hello if you see her in the street.

Cary has it right.

Grey rock ie how you treat those with NPD. You absolutely do not engage with them, give them any information, at ALL.

Because you've probably (until it started being overtly obsessive and mental) shared stuff with her or inadvertently via your kids, she has been able to pick up on a huge number of things and then go off and copy them. This needs to be totally cut off now and only you can do that.

If she starts with any "What have I done, you don't talk to me like you used to [sad face]" you say - I find your copying everything I do and your involvement in my life completely excessive and a form of harrassment and I want it to stop".

It all sounds like a nightmare! This is why I keep myself to myself apart from the odd hello to neighbours. If anyone asks anything about what I am doing/going/buying etc I just tell them a load of lies but that's probably with being brought up in a village and still live in a village so you come to learn to keep things to yourself unless you want the rest of the village knowing or this happening

@fullofhope03 Sun 02-Jul-17 07:30:38

What on earth is a 'chicken pox party'???

I understand it to mean that if your kid has chicken pox and you have friends who think it's a good idea for their kids to get it sooner rather than later then you arrange for them all to come round and play with your child in the hope that they will be infected.

My friend met me on the doorstep at her house when we popped over one day to say that her DD had it and it was entirely up to me whether I brought my DDs in to play.
Great, I thought, get it over and done with both DDs off school at the same time - couldn't be better. Unfortunately only DD2 was infected that day - DD1 picked it up from her sister so I had them sick one after the other rather than simultaneously.

However, I seem to remember the OP posted previously about this woman knowingly exposing the OPs kids to her own after she'd taken them to a "pox playdate" without telling the OP despite knowing that her child had health problems which would mean it was not a good thing for him / her to be catching chicken pox.

OP I'm with all the PP who suggest telling lies, getting a fake tattoo / short wig, planning fictional expensive purchases and exotic holidays.... and warning your removal company that your destination must stay strictly confidential (do it by email or letter beforehand to the company and then remind the employees who turn up on the day).

This is creepy written in those words. So God only knows how creepy it is in RL bet you can't wait to move OP!!

I mean I have taken 'inspiration from friend's decorating before but I always tell them. And they are very close friends. But this is on another level!

I had someone do this to me, but it wasn't quite this extreme.

Moving is the best thing, does she know you might be moving?

I can see that it's weird and creepy, but I would really have some sport with her.

I'd be borrowing a friend's horsebox and park it on my drive now and again, so I could pretend I'd taken up eventing or showjumping or something, or borrow a boat on a trailer. My mate's kids do motocross, so I'd have their trailer with bikes on parked up every now and again.

I'd also have some completely fictitious but very expensive weekends away: Orient Express to Venice, Monaco for the Grand Prix, that sort of thing, and some top-end home improvement plans, like buying one of those lovely but hideously expensive French ranges for the kitchen, and when she's ordered hers, tell her I'd decided they were rather vulgar and I'd cancelled it. Start telling her how fabulous colonic irrigation makes you feel and that you go every week.

I'd bankrupt the daft mare inside a year.

I really think she's a bit cracked. There must be a name for this sort of thing, it's probably a recognised disorder in MH circles.

WHEN YOU MOVE, MAKE SURE TO REDIRECT YOUR POST. DON'T GIVE YOUR NEW ADDRESS TO ANYONE.

-oops, caps lock-

This sounds unnerving! The odd thing would just be coincidence and maybe a bit flattering but it sounds extreme to me.

Loving the fake tattoo and holidays