To be scared she is going to kill me and steal my family?

[mrsMmrsIMrsSSI]

My first ever post on here (many NC's ago) was about my really obnoxious neighbour who harassed me by knocking, texting, Facebook messaging at least 5 times a day.
I plucked up the courage one day to tell her to fuck off and she stopped for just under a month.
I feel like I'm going crazy she keeps copying little things and I know she's doing it and she knows she's doing it and it's creeping me out - here is a list of examples of her fucking weird behaviour.

• when she sees DS has new clothes she buys her DS them too. For example the same little pair of trainers, parka, hats, etc.
• she bought the same pram. Even in the same colour.
• she dyed her hair to the same (fairly unusual) colour, a week after I did mine. --Cost me a bomb and I put a box dye over it a few weeks later

--- I lied through my teeth about DS's primary school applications as I knew she'd copy. And she did. In the same exact order.

• she bought my winter coat.
• her husband bought my partner's motorbike DESPITE not even having a license, claiming he was going to get one, it sits redundant outside their house but meant she could come over to ours with mundane questions about it for weeks.
• she started shopping where I shop.
• signed up to the same GP, despite being with her practice since she was a child.
• signed her DS up for same hobby class as my DS.
• she knowingly exposed my children to chicken pox and then was very dismissive of it.

And then today to top it all off she announced she's calling her new baby the same name as my baby with one letter difference.
So it would be equivalent of Harley and Harvey. It's not those names but that kind of idea.
DP thinks it's creepy but also really funny but seriously wtf else are you going to do? We are moving next March purely because of her. I can't bare it any longer she's hysterical but so so suffocating!!

Get the ugliest fake tattoo you can find and a wig to match. Tell her they are real.

Adore the tatoo idea

I believe you OP, I would be highly disturbed too actually and I'm fairly mellow about stuff like names/clothes etc, but it does sound like an unhealthy interest to say the least. I would call the helpline and see what they say, so you have some tools to manage the situation until you move. They will have some great ways to minimize interactions before and after the move. Btw, I would make sure that it is absolutely top secret that you have decided to move. I hope you haven't told her you're on here, otherwise I'd also have this thread deleted sharpish.

The window thing is very identifying!

I befriended her when we moved in as we are very new to the area (London escapees) and she's lived her all of her life. It was very helpful at first she knew where everything local was and it was nice to have a chat with someone.
This is all over the space of nearly 2 years. After DS1 was hospitalised for sepsis at a few weeks old I lost it with her as she was constantly knocking on our door. That was when she backed off for a bit.
The chicken pox thing was intentional. She took her children to a chicken pox party and then allowed them to come and play with my children in the play park - knowing DS2 who is 7 months has serious issues with his immune system. She didn't tell me they had been to the chicken pox party until after both my children fell ill.
Our eldest sons are really good friends so DS1 often says things in front of her about our lives (I'm not going to tell my 4 year old to not speak ) I have tried to make it minimal contact though.

DS2 hospitalised, sorry. Not DS1.

Oh and I gave her the fake order of schools, she kept asking when I saw her. She then told me that she had done the same order as she wanted the children to go the same school as ours and we could help each other with the school run.
Also, our GP is nearly 2 miles from our house. We stayed with them because I was pregnant and wanted to maintain the same midwives when we moved. She moved from the GP down the road to ours.

OP this all sounds really weird and odd. I believe you.

I would talk to the community police officer and just make them aware.

"The chicken pox thing was intentional. She took her children to a chicken pox party and then allowed them to come and play with my children in the play park - knowing DS2 who is 7 months has serious issues with his immune system. She didn't tell me they had been to the chicken pox party until after both my children fell ill."

If you are sure of this then I would certainly not want the children to have any contact with her.

I would move earlier. She sounds very unhinged.

Sorry it sounds shit. I can't believe some people on here are minisimising it.

You really don't need to keep justifying why she makes you uneasy OP, she sounds very, very invested in you and your family's life. Call the helpline, learn ways to minimize her involvement in your life, and hopefully it'll be a matter of keeping her at bay until you move

This does sound really odd. I wouldn't engage with her at all, I would move as soon as possible

Ignore her. Copying someone isn't illegal and people are allowed to be weird. The police will struggle to understand what your concern is. Nothing you say she has done has threatened or harmed you in any way. And the idea of her using her DC as some form of biological weapons delivery system is bordering on paranoia. Just ignore her.

I believe you OP, I have been in a similar situation and it certainly increases anxiety levels and leaves you unable to relax at home which is really unhealthy.

In the case of the CP and your DS, I am angered on your behalf. That right there would be enough for me to never utter a single word to her ever again.
The only way my creepy neighbour got the message was for me to outright blank her, even when her fabricated causes to contact me became more and more dramatic (and bullshitty) I didn't meet her eye once for an entire 18 month period until we sold our house after she finally pissed me off enough.

People like this don't get the message unless you utterly blank them.
If she engages your children as you enter your property, you need a simple "come on boys, in we go, lots of toys to play with/cakes to make/hamsters to pet/hobbies to practice" usher them in, even if they are speaking to her and close the door firmly.

I should add, if you do really think she is dangerous I would contact some of the help lines mentioned above before employing my tactic.

I'd do what a previous poster suggested with caravan etc.

Do you think her dp notices this?

Wow. I don't think you're paranoid, I think she's nuts. Move as soon as you can and don't look back

On moving day - make sure that the removal men do not give any indication where you are moving to, or indeed where they came from. I'm also concerned that she may call the company (as the name will be on the van?) and try to find out where you are going.
And as others have said, keep a record of EVERYTHING from now on. Contact the police on their non-emergency number too.
All the very best to you OP, xxx

What on earth is a 'chicken pox party'???

God yes don't let her find out where you are going or she will be moving as close to you as possible before you've even had time to unpack.

The chicken pox scenario is awful.

Come on folks. Lets not minimise this and the impact its having on the OP.

OP has quite clearly states rhat she is scared. That this behaviour has been harrassing her and that she has ked this other lady to stop, but it continues.

OP isn't going to be able to put everything in one post,. And so we can't just assume it's all nothing, or that its not scary, or that we wouldn't find it hard to deal with.

OP - the constant contactin you isn't on. You can ask her to stop, and when she doesn't do so, have a chat with the police. You can block her on all aocial media and your phone too.

Like others have advised, call the stalking helpline to get some advice. If you are scared, you can also go and have a chat with the police - call 101 to ask for an appointment to go talk to a PC. They should take the harassmenr part seriously, especially if yoi have proof of the level od communication and how its making you feel.

I love the way people just tell you to move as if eveeryone has a magic wand and can easily just up sticks!!!

Moving is a fucking time consuming and costly business. Not everyone has the money to move.

Also, not everyone has the freedom to move!! Some people have caring responsibilities that would make moving any distance nigh on impossible. Also why should OPs children have to be uprooted and move school?

Also, many people, council tenants, private tenants with pets, sometimes these days even private tenants with kids, have such difficulty finding a new property that it becomes almost impossible!

Geez I really wish sometimes people would think before they type. Especially on threads where people are obviously struggling

Ignore the people who are minimising this, and telling you to ignore it and get over it, OP. She sounds unhinged.

I had a stalker, years ago, who started off just like this. I was told that I was overreacting, and making too much of it. I felt embarrassed and just put up with it, but things escalated horribly.

Don't do what I did. Take steps now. I would definitely move, if possible. If not, take advice from an expert in the field and find out how best to help yourself.

While you are waiting to move, try 'grey rock'. It's a way of making yourself so boring it limits people's opportunity to mess with you.

The fact is the OP is worried. Sounds like your ds is quite young so I'd knock the friendship on the head. I'd also withdraw from her. She may well be a bit of a sheep but she's making op uncomfortable. You might to make sure she's getting as little information about your life as possible.

I'd be fuming about the chicken pox. My youngest has a weakened immune system and cp affected her incredibly badly.

And grey rock is safer than some of the entertaining, but ultimately inflammatory ideas about tattoos etc.

Yes, to recording everything. At least then you can feel you are doing something about it and less of a powerless victim.
You could get a night vision camera so you would know if she is calling round eg when you are out. A small brown box which you could put under a bush out of sight.
And I would speak to the police in case it escalates.