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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving a baby for 10 days

147 replies

Trianglesandcircles1 · 01/07/2017 19:52

AIBU to think that parents should not be leaving an 11 month old baby with a grandparent for 10 days? The baby has not stayed with the GP before and doesn't know them, but is used to weekends with some other relatives. Would you do this? have you ever done something like this?

OP posts:
DonaldStott · 01/07/2017 19:53

Come on, who are you judging then?

mumeeee · 01/07/2017 19:54

I'm sure he will be fine. He is staying with his Grandparents not some random strangers

MrsHathaway · 01/07/2017 19:56

Seems like a slightly odd decision unless logistics are relevant - eg parents live in London, grandparents in Inverness, and the ten days are on Orkney?

I'd assume they'll spend a day or two with grandparents before they head off on holiday?

GreenHillsOfHome · 01/07/2017 19:56

Unless in an emergency I think it's shitty parental behaviour tbh.

However most of the comments on this subject seem to be along the 'they'll be fine', 'you're a person too and not just a parent' and 'I've done it, i'm an amazingly cool parent who still goes away twice a year and my kids love the grandparents' type line.

AyeAmarok · 01/07/2017 19:56

Each to their own.

Claireshh · 01/07/2017 19:56

I didn't do this but friends did and the children were well cared for plus the parents had a break. If my parents or inlaws had offered I'd have been totally up for it. X

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/07/2017 19:56

Look the baby is being left with presumably capable and loving adults.

I can think of a good few reasons why a person or couple may choose to or feel they have to or even want to do this.

If you can't fathom the idea don't do it however don't judge those who do

NicolasFlamel · 01/07/2017 19:56

How does an 11 month old not know their grandparents?
Anyway, I personally wouldn't do it but it's up to them.

VladmirsPoutine · 01/07/2017 19:58

Is this some sort of dodgy reverse in which you paint yourself as the unreasonable outside viewer of a scenario but you're actually the subject, hoping that you'll be told it's not unreasonable and to stop being so judgy?

Either way, I think it's fine to leave an 11 mo with their grandparent.

corythatwas · 01/07/2017 20:01

I'd want further particulars. What are the grandparents like: are they the kind who are amazingly good at connecting with babies and instinctively understand what they want (like my mother) or are they pretty clueless. What will the preparation look like- a day or two getting to know each other or a 2 second handover at the door? Too many unknowns here.

PinkHeart5911 · 01/07/2017 20:01

What gives you or anyone else the right to judge?

At 11 months a child wants someone to play with it, feed it, keep it safe and offer love. If the grandparents can provide that what is the issue?

toffeeboffin · 01/07/2017 20:04

11 months?

I thought you were going to say 11 days.

Not a problem at all.

PurpleDaisies · 01/07/2017 20:05

What's this got to do with you?

If the parents anc grandparents are fine with it, that's all that matters. The baby (presumably) will be well cared for.

CeCeBloomer · 01/07/2017 20:05

I am slightly in awe of parents who are comfortable doing this, I am a neurotic mess who didn't have a night away from dd for 2 yrs am due have ot had 2 night in 3 years

Suntrapped · 01/07/2017 20:05

Depends on the baby. A confident, easy going baby whose used to being away from parents would probably be fine. One who is anxious and clingy might get very distressed. I'd worry baby might feel abandoned or think parents weren't coming back, at 11 months you can't explain to them it's only temporary. And 10 days might feel like 10 weeks to such a small child!

BTPlonker · 01/07/2017 20:07

I think its fine, assuming the grandparents are capable and willing. Why do you think it is a problem?

ghostyslovesheets · 01/07/2017 20:07

meh - who am I to judge

or you for that matter

EasterRobin · 01/07/2017 20:08

In theory I would have loved to do that (for a few days), but I wasn't comfortable about leaving DD overnight at that stage. It just felt weird. No reason not to though... Just my irrational not wanting to be apart. I'm sure DD would have been safe and happy.

witsender · 01/07/2017 20:08

I wouldn't and don't know anyone who would, but we all do things differently.

Yolannnda · 01/07/2017 20:08

A work collegue of mine went away for a week when her DD was 4 months old, they left the baby with GP too. I was quite shocked that she would actually want to as I wouldn't even want an overnight away from the baby yet.

If it was a honeymoon, or occasion abroad I would understand but I do think its quite neglectful and odd to leave the baby that long. Yanbu!

PurpleDaisies · 01/07/2017 20:10

Neglectful to leave a baby in the care of someone fully capable of looking after them? Really?

picklemepopcorn · 01/07/2017 20:13

I don't think it's good for the baby if he doesn't know them well. It's not great for attachment to have big changes like that. Better if they keep the baby in a familiar environment rather than a complete change. This is why they let parents stay in hospital now, to avoid unsettling their attachment.

toffeeboffin · 01/07/2017 20:15

Neglectful?

Seriously?

You don't know what neglect is then.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 01/07/2017 20:16

Butt the fuck out judgey mcjudgerson.

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 01/07/2017 20:16

Left DS (7 months) with my DM for 10 days recently- she is our nanny so DS already gets his daily care from her as I have worked FT since he was just under 4 months. They adore each other and DS was just fine.

The holiday was a "once in a lifetime" gift from DH and I would do it again in a heartbeat, judge who may.