Leaving a baby for 10 days

[Trianglesandcircles1]

AIBU to think that parents should not be leaving an 11 month old baby with a grandparent for 10 days? The baby has not stayed with the GP before and doesn't know them, but is used to weekends with some other relatives. Would you do this? have you ever done something like this?

This isn't leaving a baby with a familiar, loved grandparent though! It's completely different!

Reframe it to
'I want to go on holiday for two weeks. I've found a nice babysitter who has excellent references and good qualifications. I'm going to leave my 11 month old with her. AIBU?'

I can't believe people think this is ok! And the grandparents are putting their desire to see the child above the child's well being, another MN no no!

I left my eight month old with my mum for six nights. So the baby had lots of contact with my mum. But I had to be away for work. I had no choice. I missed him every second but was fully confident he was fine. And he was.

I'm shocked people would think this bad. Some of us don't have the luxury of choice.

Personally, I wouldn't, but I wouldn't judge anyone for doing so. Other people's parenting choices are none of my business

I don't mean to sound horrible but who are you to judge especially if it's not affecting you.

I would totally leave my daughter with her grandparents in saying that they have her all the time and she knows them extremely well. But still I just don't see who this person leaves their child with is any of your business

But do remember that those GPs have managed to raise a child and in fact one of those parents is the child!

Whilst one or other of the parents may have some misgivings about the length of time they presumably do not fear for the safety of thier child or they just wouldn't do it.

There is no way on earth I would do this personally. But I don't think it's neglect either.

In some ways I'd have more sympathy with leaving an 11 day old baby with people it doesn't know than an 11 month old. 11 month olds are extremely clingy in my recollection. Fine, if the baby and grandparents already had a close relationship. Not fine if they have hardly met.

I have never left any of my children for longer than a night, however I would never judge, nor should you!

I wouldn't but for reasons of my own control-freakery not because I don't think my kid will be ok.
Left my own ds at that age for about 3 nights. Leaving him for longer would seem a bit odd but not "wrong" or "neglectful".

I would have had absolutely no problem leaving my 11mo with my mum and dad. They would both have loved it. I feel surplus to requirements when the kids and my parents meet up

Come to think about it my parents left me for nearly two weeks for a work related trip at 14 months.
I was capably looked after by my grandmother, and wasn't remotely scarred by the experience

11 days old - YANBU
11 months old - YABU

I don't think its right. Some parents seem to prioritise their own needs as being equal to the baby's needs, but when the baby is young then I think their needs should come first. A baby doesn't understand that mum and dad are coming back, and will feel abandoned and bereaved. Totally different with an older child who understands the concept of time and who can have the situation explained to them. I remember when Kate Middleton and Prince William jetted off for a holiday when George was only a few months old, leaving him with the nanny. I don't understand why people think she's such a good mum when she was heartless enough to do this - how on earth is a baby supposed to understand that they haven't been abandoned??

"The GP insisted on having baby and the parents caved in" I'm sorry but that is being unreasonable. It shouldn't matter what the GP think, if the parents think baby should then they should stand up for baby and not cave in!
However if parents are happy to leave with GP that's up to them, I have friends who have and didn't mind. Personally not for me, I've only left my 5 year old for one night but I love having them with me.

Eh? The baby is 11 months, not a newborn.

Why are you judging? Jealous?

I also find posters comparing this to neglect really hurtful and disrespectful.

My much older half DB was left in his cot for 4 days when he was a couple of months old by my Dad's first wife (while Dad was away on army tour) back in there early 70s. He still has the scars from the hives caused by soiling himself and not being changed.

That's neglect. Don't you dare compare the two.

Do it, don't do it. But calling this neglect is obscene.

It's like when people spout nonsense about cortisone levels should someone leave a baby to cry for a few minutes.

This is NOT neglect what a load of twaddle. Some people don't know they're born.
It's not going to cause long term mental trauma either.
Some grandparents are unable to see there families more than once a year for a variety of very good reasons. This shouldn't mean that their much loved grandchildren should never be left alone with them. When do they ever get to create that relationship???
The circumstances to this particular situation seem a little odd but as a general rule there is no issue with what they have chosen to do.

Surely the baby will be very confused and distressed, with parents gone and instead it's with people it doesn't know. I would think that would be quite traumatic even for 1 day, let alone 10.

I wouldn't

The baby doesn't know the GP so they're practically strangers. Some parents just do what they want to and don't give a fuck about their kids. Nothing you can do though

Yes, you are right, it is shitty parenting. But, so much of it goes on and who are we to judge !

What do you think is going to happen?