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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Vegetable delivery guy calls me to accept delivery for my neighbor

202 replies

BeyonceZ · 01/07/2017 09:08

Last week, the delivery guy buzzed me. I went down (three stairs down) to the main door and asked for whom was the delivery. He said, "apartment 6". I told him I'm from apartment 3. He said, "I know, I needed you to open the main door so I could leave this box inside".

I asked him why he didn't ring apartment 3. He said he could not get through.

Today, the guy rang again. He said, "I have a delivery for apartment 6". I told him "this is apartment 3". He said "yes, I just need you to open the main door." I said I was busy and he should ring apartment 6. He rang again several times which I ignored.

Was IBU?

OP posts:
NellieFiveBellies · 01/07/2017 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

supersop60 · 01/07/2017 12:01

YANBU. It's not the same as taking parcels in for a neighbour when you are in a house.
Why didn't veg man buzz someone on the ground / first floor? Or do you think he did and nobody else answered?

Slimthistime · 01/07/2017 12:07

Ive actually wondered if you get buzzer systems with a mute button. I know when I'm expecting a friend and most delivery companies give you an estimate time of delivery so if it exists, there's a few of us here who could benefit. No need to unmute unless expecting someone.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/07/2017 12:12

Some have a privacy button slim which is the same as a mute button.

ZogsAnon · 01/07/2017 12:20

Yanbu. As someone who also lives in flats, I'd never schedule a regular delivery when I wasn't in expecting my neighbour to deal with it. If it is unavoidable I'd go, explain to neighbours, thank them after the event.
Being neighbourly is protecting the security of the whole building, that is what the buzzers are their for.

BrokenBattleDroid · 01/07/2017 12:24

Some drug dealers lived in the flat above me a long time ago. When the drug dealers were out and their customers couldn't get through to them on the intercom they would get enraged and start buzzing the other flats. When that didn't work they would start getting aggressive through the downstairs windows. They were really nice flats too, it was very unexpected.

All sorts of people want access for all sorts of reasons. I'd have probably gone down that second time and let the chap put the box inside the main door, but been clear that I wouldn't be doing it again and that flat 6 needs a more appropriate arrangement.

But a policy of not buzzing in randoms is just sensible. It's not un-neighbourly; buzzing in burglars is un-neigbourly!

Chrys2017 · 01/07/2017 12:26

When this happens in my building I ask them to deliver the parcel to my apartment and leave a card for the intended recipient telling them to collect it from me. That way the neighbours know I've done them a favour (in case I ever need one in return) and I can ensure it is a genuine delivery.

Itsnotwhatitseems · 01/07/2017 12:30

to be honest Op I am with you on this one, you did it once and had no thanks or apology from the neighbour who you kindly accepted their delivery for and then do it again the following week. I expect if they had spoken to you and thanked you for the previous week and then explained if they are out when he comes back would you be able to let him in then it would be a different matter.

I wonder if the delivery slots are very wide so the recipient finds it hard to be in for the whole time, or perhaps they asked for an after 9 and he came at 8, one of life's mystery's which we will never know I guess.

2littlemoos · 01/07/2017 12:35

Completely agree with OP and OP you are absolutely NOT an unkind person for refusing. It is great that you want to check but doing so is a hassle for you with a baby. Especially if baby is asleep. And it could potentially become a regular thing.

The neighbor should arrange deliveries for when she/he will be there or at least make a kind request to a neighbor to accept them for her/him.

refred · 01/07/2017 12:38

YANBU at all. It's the intrusion really I would object to plus the faff of stopping what you're doing, locking your own flat & carrying the baby.

But I'm probably seen as selfish on this thread. I live in a house & only take parcels for certain neighbours now. I've had people knocking for their packages so loudly the house almost shakes, waking DC's. Others knocking relentlessly late at night when I'm in my pj's and not having the decency to like may be in not wanting to answer the door. Another neighbour has a bloody bike case delivered which cluttering up my hallway for days as they were on holiday. I had to collapse the buggy constantly just to get into my own house.

refred · 01/07/2017 12:39

Other people are not very neighbourly!

Chrys2017 · 01/07/2017 12:40

Oh, and if the neighbours don't bother to collect it or the courier doesn't bother to leave a card, then you have yourself a free box of vegetables!

WashBasketsAreUs · 01/07/2017 13:10

Where I live I take parcels in for the neighbours and they do for me, although if I know I won't be in or back in time I always ask them if it's ok first. However I live in a house not a block of flats. I could probably run down and back quite quickly in a flat but not carting a baby and having to turn off cookers etc. Once is fine and nice to be asked and thanked for doing so, anything after that is taking the piss. You are definitely not being unreasonable.

misit · 01/07/2017 13:32

I bet apartment 6 were fast asleep with earplugs in, after all they didn't need to bother last week, some random helped out.

I would hate to live in the same block as posters on here who think that "being nice" to your neighbours is more important than keeping your neighbours safe.

Migraleve · 01/07/2017 15:03

Iwould hate to live in the same block as posters on here who think that "being nice" to your neighbours is more important than keeping your neighbours safe.

But it isn't one or the other? We have fully established that this was indeed a veg delivery man. I would have no issue letting him in. Someone who wasn't a veg delivery man, I would be slightly more cautious.

It is possible to keep people safe AND help them out

kmc1111 · 01/07/2017 15:10

YANBU.

I once lived in a very safe apartment building with a strict 'don't let anyone in who isn't there for you' policy. 1 person moved in and started ignoring that rule, and within weeks half of us had been burgled. First burglaries in the building since the intercom system had been put in over a decade before.

NellieFiveBellies · 01/07/2017 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PetalsOnPearls · 01/07/2017 16:02

Migraleve

No, the OP only establishes that when she takes her young baby down three flights of stairs to check. On one of these occasions leaving her cooking to do so.

There is already an adequate system in place for deliveries; to leave them in the foyer.

Vegetable boxes do not need a signature upon delivery - there is no need to (without asking) hassle a neighbour every week with your vegetable delivery.

Relying on intercom (ie. the way it would take five seconds) would mean anyone could claim to be anyone to get into that building. And there's no saying that any veg man, delivery man, tradie, or leafleter, isn't actually casing the joint as well.

What if she is bathing the baby next time?

DixieFlatline · 01/07/2017 16:13

I buzzed a couple in once who turned out to be Jehovah's Witnesses. They then went round knocking on the other few flats' doors because they were already in. I felt really bad.

Last time some were buzzed in (a lot more recently), after they got told where to go they went back outside and buzzed different flats instead of knocking directly on doors though. I guess they must have got a bollocking at some point for them to change tactic.

Original poster
BeyonceZ · 01/07/2017 21:46

including whoever it was who is so traumatised by the OP that she has to go and re-read another thread to calm herself down

GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
Original poster
BeyonceZ · 01/07/2017 21:55

all we actually have is a man with a box, asking to be let in.

This. I don't know if the neighbour did indeed got the box last week. Or if it was even theirs, or what it contained. It was a non-descript brown box.

I'd assume if they wanted people to buzz the delivery man in (assuming it was the delivery man buzzing - no video, just voice intercom) they'd ask me. But they didn't.

OP posts:
aaaaargghhhhelpme · 01/07/2017 22:11

Bloody hell. You've got a lot of stick op

But in our old flat it was strictly against the rules of our lease to buzz people in for other flats. It would also invalidate your insurance.

The fact that you went out of your way to take in the first box shows you're a better person than me! Yet you received no thanks or acknowledgment from the flat.

They must know making a regular order that they will need somewhere to deliver to. you even have an area for things to be delivered. They need to specify with the company that's where it goes.

It is not your job. You did them a favour. That's enough!

YouCantArgueWithStupid · 01/07/2017 22:37

Thanks for not buzzing him in OP. Many years ago I worked in a pub opposite my flat where I lived at the time. One particular patron used to watch me walk home and from the street you could see which flat I went into. He used to then buzz and ask to be let into as he was here to see me. They'd bloody let him in then I'd have him at my front door. I'd be scared shitless and had to call the police on many occasions. I used to finish my shift at all different times and no one thought it was odd he wouldn't just buzz me!

cowgirlsareforever · 01/07/2017 22:42

SuburbanRhonda It was me who mentioned re-reading another thread but I can assure you I am not traumatized by this thread Smile

PopcornNRedwine · 01/07/2017 22:43

YANBU.

There is such a thing as taking the piss.

If whatever number wants fresh veg delivered then they need to make provisions for it.

Thieves have been known to watch for routines. It's not up to the delivery man to make sure no one is tailgating him. It's not up to you to let the delivery man in.

My gran let someone in for a "delivery" and it turned out to be some junks who then knew my gran was in, and they robbed and assaulted her.
It's nice to be nice but tbh with the way this world is, you really do need to look after you and yours. It's only vegetables.