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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Vegetable delivery guy calls me to accept delivery for my neighbor

202 replies

BeyonceZ · 01/07/2017 09:08

Last week, the delivery guy buzzed me. I went down (three stairs down) to the main door and asked for whom was the delivery. He said, "apartment 6". I told him I'm from apartment 3. He said, "I know, I needed you to open the main door so I could leave this box inside".

I asked him why he didn't ring apartment 3. He said he could not get through.

Today, the guy rang again. He said, "I have a delivery for apartment 6". I told him "this is apartment 3". He said "yes, I just need you to open the main door." I said I was busy and he should ring apartment 6. He rang again several times which I ignored.

Was IBU?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 01/07/2017 10:00

'I really hope you don't live in the same block of flats as me.'

It's a shite council flat and the guy downstairs has a criminal record a mile long, he hates us especially after he had me dragged into court as a witness against some guy he tried to kill; across from him is a homeless flat full of E. Europeans with all sorts of people coming and going; the people across, well, last week she threw all his stuff out in the close but I guess they're back together now; the other gal is a prossie and the one on top, she's calmer now but a couple of weeks ago I don't know what the fuck she was on but she was awake for 2 nights.

As it is, there's usually no need to buzz because the two doors to the close are propped open with something.

headhurtstoomuch · 01/07/2017 10:00

OP! Did it ever cross your mind to actually go and speak to your neighbour after the first delivery? You could have clarified if it was actually a box of veggies or something more sinister. Also, that way if the delivery guy buzzed again you'd know it wasn't anything more than veggies.

Be neighbourly - it really isn't that big a deal and you are being incredibly unreasonable.

Original poster
BeyonceZ · 01/07/2017 10:01

live in a fourth floor flat so I do understand. Do you have a video screen as well or is it just a voice?

Just voice. And if I buzz him in, he's gonna have access to all the floors.

OP posts:
PetalsOnPearls · 01/07/2017 10:01

"What I do hate are fucking students on their walk back to halls from the clubs that think it's absolutely hilarious to buzz all the doors at 3am."

Do you live on the side of the building with the door? My bedroom used to be seven floors up, above the main door...

Iced cold water did the trick.

Original poster
BeyonceZ · 01/07/2017 10:01

OP! Did it ever cross your mind to actually go and speak to your neighbour after the first delivery?

Actually I forgot about it because I didn't expect to be buzzed again.

OP posts:
ElleDubloo · 01/07/2017 10:02

Also our mailboxes were in the foyer (no lock) so anyone who was buzzed in could rifle through all our mail. So definitely no.

PetalsOnPearls · 01/07/2017 10:03

expatinscotland

Not in the same block.

"but a couple of weeks ago I don't know what the fuck she was on but she was awake for 2 nights. "

This was are upstairs neighbour, she used to get high and then jiggle / tap her foot on the wooden floor all night... It was like Chinese drip torture but with a dull knocking sound.

AtSea1979 · 01/07/2017 10:03

What a sad world we live in when people can't be trusted to be buzzed in. I'm very lax about security but I've only had my car broken in to once. I would hate not be able to trust people.

expatinscotland · 01/07/2017 10:03

'Yeah, I guess it's difficult to understand how it's unsafe if you don't live in a flat.'

I've lived in flats for decades, how are they any less safe than a house unless you have a shite landlord who doesn't put in a proper front door, which they can do in a house, too?

Flyinggeese · 01/07/2017 10:03

OP I agree with you, this is not on. Also why is he repeatedly using your bell, not anyone else in the building?

To those saying you should just let him in, have you ever lived in flats or a shared building? IME it is really not the done thing (quite rightly) to just buzz in people you don't know.

Imagine the homes were not flats bit individual houses, would it be OK for the delivery company to repeatedly disturb OP in her home for her neighbour's shopping?

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 01/07/2017 10:04

So the choice is either allow a stranger free access to your block or walk down then back up 3 flights of stairs carrying a baby, or he leaves a box of veg in a hallway. YANBU

expatinscotland · 01/07/2017 10:06

'This was are upstairs neighbour, she used to get high and then jiggle / tap her foot on the wooden floor all night... It was like Chinese drip torture but with a dull knocking sound.'

This gal was pinging. I got up to go to the loo around 3 and she was still up, babbling loudly, singing. We all got up around 9 the next morning, she was outside smoking on her balcony and laughing to herself. We went out all day, got back after 8pm, she was still going, bouncing around the communal strip of grass bordering the car park. I thought, 'WTF?!'

Original poster
BeyonceZ · 01/07/2017 10:06

So the choice is either allow a stranger free access to your block or walk down then back up 3 flights of stairs carrying a baby, or he leaves a box of veg in a hallway.

Yes.

Also why is he repeatedly using your bell, not anyone else in the building?

I suspect because I let him in last time (assuming that's him too this time) and I won't be surprised if noone else agreed to buzz him in.

OP posts:
AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/07/2017 10:07

There's a button on most buzz entrance flats which says 'Trade'.

They should use that one.

expatinscotland · 01/07/2017 10:09

'have you ever lived in flats or a shared building? IME it is really not the done thing (quite rightly) to just buzz in people you don't know.'

I've lived in a house for about 3 years out of 20. Never once heard of people not buzzing someone in. I turn my buzzer off regularly.

C8H10N4O2 · 01/07/2017 10:10

I agree this a difference between house and apartment block dwellers.

I'm in a house. I take in parcels for all and sundry if I'm home, as do all my neighbours - I just open my door and take them in.

My kids are in various types of apartments in more than one country. They all have buzzer systems with strict insurance requirements that people are not to be buzzed in without checking their ID and reason in person. Running up and down several stories with a baby is not the same ask as opening your front door.

OP if there is a communal parcel/post area ask your neighbour to authorise the company to leave the veg there.

AvoidingCallenetics · 01/07/2017 10:10

It's not polite for the people whose delivery it is to just assume that their neighbours will deal with it every week.
I think it is sensible not to just buzz anyone in. He may be a delivery guy, equally he may not. I wouldn't go down 3 flights of stairs with a baby, to take in someone else's delivery either! I probably would if I didn't have the baby with me, but I wouldn't be willing to regularly do this if I had to stop cooking and carry the baby downstairs.

RedHelenB · 01/07/2017 10:11

Are flat doors not as secure as house doors? Obviously don't let anyone in but OP did state she knew who it was. She could have gone down and taken the box in I still don't get the angst it's a couple of minutes of her time.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/07/2017 10:11

Is it a more southern thing to be this uptight about neighbours?

Not southern at all. I'm up north and we're just as anal (with good reason!) here. Grin

MrsEricBana · 01/07/2017 10:11

OP yadnbu. He could be anyone at all, it's not about being unneighbourly. Totally different scenario from visiting neighbour in hospital, accepting occasional parcel for next door. I am one of only ones in during the day here and although I am very neighbourly I do get fed up with racing to the door only for it to be another delivery for someone else. I do take them though.

lamii · 01/07/2017 10:11

Not nice op

placemark123 · 01/07/2017 10:12

This has got to be about locations, I am from the kind of area where everyone is v neighbourly and gentle and keeps parcels and opens doors - no issue. I have also lived in London and when on own in block of flats definitely had - buzzed entry leading to burglary, tick, violent local threatening to kill resident, tick, identity theft, tick. In fact the identity theft was mine and def from the post in the post boxes downstairs, that kind of thing was so common there that I'd forgotten about it until now. Different actions for different kinds of places. And had to not get veg box as no where to leave it and no one I would put upon to receive it for me.

WomblingThree · 01/07/2017 10:13

FFS the stupid is strong in this thread. Guess house dwellers can't envision an alternative way of living 🙄

Why do the witty snarkers on here think a buzzer is attached to the outer door of a block of flats? To stop randoms wandering in and out at will. It's called security. Otherwise, why not just leave it open all the time? As has been pointed out, repeatedly, you aren't supposed to buzz people into the block if they are not there to see you.

If someone is having a regular timed delivery such as veg, then basic intelligence would suggest that a) you were at home to receive it, or b) you arrange with a neighbour to take it in.

It really doesn't make someone a selfish bitch for choosing to follow the rules of her building, and she's not responsible for everything that's wrong with the world.

StealthPolarBear · 01/07/2017 10:13

Criminals do keep an eye on places though to work out the best way to get in. Having buzzed the week before doesn't put him in the good guy camp.
Oh and I think bomb is unlikely. Theft much more likely.

Fluffy40 · 01/07/2017 10:13

The neighbour needs to be in to accept her own parcels. It's not your role.

I might do it as a one off if I knew my neighbour well.