Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to wash my friend's clothes?

238 replies

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 30/06/2017 07:16

My friend asked me to water her plants while she went backpacking round Asia for 6 weeks. No problem, happy to do it, got her key off her.

First time I went to her flat (about 3 days after she left) she had a full load of washing sitting in her machine all wet! And a few dirty dishes in the sink. Nothing extreme, looks like she had a quick meal before she left for the airport and didn't have time to wash up.

Anyway I washed the dishes and popped them on the draining board, took the washing out (which stank of course) and popped it in a bin bag, took it to mine, re-washed the load and then put it through the tumble dryer (my friend doesn't have one).

Next time I went I put it all, folded, on her bed.

There's no way I was gonna let her ruin a full load, after 6 weeks the clothes would have been mouldy beyond repair! I did more plant watering after that and didn't interfere in any other way.

Anyway she came back early this morning and has sent me a text that basically says thanks for watering her plants but she's a bit annoyed that I 'took it upon myself' to 'clean her kitchen' and come in her bedroom, she feels a bit judged, she was in a rush when she left and she feels it was intrusive Shock

I thought I was being a good friend. AIBU or is she being precious?

OP posts:
scootinFun · 30/06/2017 20:20

I would be really grateful in that situation.

Salmotrutta · 30/06/2017 20:38

Blimey, I remember years ago we house-sat for my parents and also "baby sat" my kid brother.
Unknown to me I'd left washing in my own machine (totally forgot about it) and when we got back to our own house a mere 4-5 days later that washing was all stinky and already had some mould on it so had to be binned basically.
I shudder to think what 6 weeks worth of incubation would have looked like! Grin

Ellapaella · 30/06/2017 22:55

Your friend is a twat. It was a perfectly normal thing for you to do given it was washing sitting in a machine and would of stunk if you'd left it. She is way overthinking things and needs to get over herself.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 30/06/2017 23:24

Got to agree that your text is too conciliatory, IMO.

Don't apologise, just say that she had left the washing wet in the machine and you re-did it because it would have been trashed with mould by the time she got back.

And no next time - although you don't have to explicitly say this, you can wait until she asks you to fuck her off.

AtHomeDadGlos · 01/07/2017 07:14

I agree with those saying the text is too apologetic.

Maybe a reply like:

Well, that's the last time I water your plants or try to help you out. Hope you had a nice holiday.

WillowWeeping · 01/07/2017 07:24

No need to apologise just state that you assumed she'd prefer not to come home to mouldy clothes / dishes.

GetafixTheDruid · 01/07/2017 07:39

Just make sure in the message she realises the washing was in the machine. My bet is she thought it was just in the laundry basket. As for the plates we'll thanks just ungrateful, they would have been revolting by the time she returned.

utterchaos · 01/07/2017 07:50

I'd say - Sorry I'm confused. The washing up was waiting to be done and the clothes were left wet and going mouldy in the machine. If I'd left either for you to deal with on your return, you would have come home to a stinky flat - is that really what you wanted me to do? I thought I was being helpful. I certainly wasn't judging you. Would you not have done the same?

Nocabbageinmyeye · 01/07/2017 07:50

Way too nice!! "Eh fuck off you grumpy cow and call me when your not jet lagged"

"I didn't judge before but now i am judging you for being an ungrateful witch"

But then I could say those things to a friend and it would diffuse the situation but as she'd laugh. You are being a doormat though to as nice as you are in that last text. You can be firm but nice, that's just way too nice

user1471545174 · 01/07/2017 08:11

Send what Questioning on last page, wrote.

DON'T APOLOGISE unless you have done something wrong.

SheSaidHeSaid · 01/07/2017 08:15

I don't agree with your friend being rude about it but I actually wouldn't like it if someone did that for me.

I don't know, maybe it's just because of see it as someone looking down their nose at me - whether rightly or wrongly so.

NotTooWorried · 01/07/2017 08:17

Too apologetic.

GetafixTheDruid · 01/07/2017 08:18

Gah autocorrect! My post should have read 'well that's' not we'll thanks.

IrritatedUser1960 · 01/07/2017 08:23

I think she is being very precious. You were in a difficult position. If you'd left the clothes she may have been angry with you becasue they could have been mouldy and slimy when she got back and you did them and got told off. You were doing her a favour by going into her place for 6 whole weeks which I think is a bit of an imposition.
if that was me and I was annoyed I'd swallow my pride and say thank you very much for what you did.
Honestly some people!!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/07/2017 08:30

Shesaid - would you really rather have come back to stinking mouldy dishes and washing? The friend was away for 6 weeks, not 1.

SheSaidHeSaid · 01/07/2017 08:31

I wouldn't leave stuff like that but I'd have thought that someone who does wouldn't care about the state they come back to otherwise they wouldn't have left it like that.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/07/2017 08:34

Well we don't know that she doesn't care, but she did have to leave in a hurry at the last minute, according to the OP:

CherryChasingDotMuncher Fri 30-Jun-17 07:38:25
...

I think she knows she left washing in the machine as she said she left everything that way because she was in an unexpected rush.

JacquesHammer · 01/07/2017 08:44

Put all the clothes you dried back in the washer. Run a cycle.

Text her and say you've returned things to how she left them 😄

ethelfleda · 01/07/2017 08:53

I'm with you OP - that was a thoughtful gesture and I would have been very grateful. If she trusts you enough to give you a key to her place then she must realise you were trying to do her a favour.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 01/07/2017 08:56

Can't believe she's not grateful!! I'd be thrilled.

Allyg1185 · 01/07/2017 09:10

We watch a house on a regular basis for a male family friend.

Hes only home bout 8 weeks a year. First time his house was left like this I did the dishes he left etc sorted out all the leaflets from his mail put through the door. Then the second time he left his house was left in the same state and then again and again.

Put a stop to all that after the first time. Quite clearly happy to leave frying pans on the cooker with fat congealing in them for 12 weeks at a time.

Actually put a stop to it all now. It was orginally only meant to be for a year which has now been a extended to five. And he treats my husband appalling eg not even a txt to say hes home or an invite out for a beer. He was our best man a year ago!

Original poster
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 01/07/2017 09:30

Hi all, sent that message last night (a little bit adjusted to not sound so apologetic) and she replied saying sorry she probably over reacted but she was tired and a bit embarrassed that her house was messy (it really wasn't), she forgot she had left the washing in the mcahine and said thanks for helping out. It's all good Smile

OP posts:
PovertyJetset · 01/07/2017 09:31

Great, glad it's sorted 😊

Dawnedlightly · 01/07/2017 09:42

Fab! You didn't nothing wrong and she was just tired and travel stressed.

Only1scoop · 01/07/2017 11:38
Smile
Swipe left for the next trending thread