Overweight colleague - how should I intervene more?

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I work closely with someone who in very overweight. She's a lovely colleague to have, works well and is friendly but is very unhappy at being so overweight. She's constantly trying out new diets to help her loose weight and has my full support. However, she has some ingrained misconceptions about food and drink which are inhibiting her ability to eat and drink more healthily.

For example, she raves about drinks like Oasis saying how drinking them is just like drinking water despite me showing her the ingredients and bringing her attention to how much sugar there is. I've explained that excess sugar will not help her to loose weight but she says it's nonsense.

She'll snack throughout the day on nuts saying that constant eating is helping to keep her metabolism up thinking that if she's not eating, her body's not metabolising food.

For lunch, she'll eat a salad laden with mayo and cheese saying that it's healthy as it's just eggs and dairy, ie.natural food.

We went out for a Chinese lunch last week as a team and she ate huge amounts as well as other people's leftovers. Other colleagues are getting fed up with her saying how she doesn't understand why she's so overweight and she doesn't listen to anyone's advice.

It's been left me (decided by team), as I get on best with her, to ask her to either stop talking about her weight or to eat more healthily. I'm not sure what to say to her without offending her. Help!

Just don't, it's totally none of your business.

I was just saying she is but at the macro's she easily could be, I was more pointing out OP complaining about cheese and nuts as being bad they are not they are great health food.

Try to get her to move from the oasis to a suger free squash for now and eventually to water only small steps, the sugar free squash is just as tasty for now and way more healthy as intrum drink.

Nobody has a right to tell someone else what to eat so lay off

Nobody should try to get her to move to anything...

It's her issue, unless she specifically asks for advice.

@PortiaCastis

Thank you especially when it's healthy food like cheese and nuts. My DS school complained when I sent him in with cheese and nuts as being unhealthy I had to print of a load of info and tell them I know more about food then them so to stay the hell out of what my son eats.

Whatever someone eats is no concern of a random internet poster especially not one who preaches

Good luck Portia.

Well you can't go up to her and say, "Stop talking about your weight or go on a diet"

I wish we could.
People who constantly talk about their weight/latest diet really do seem unaware of how fucking boring and irritating it is to listen to them. Even more so if they talk permanently about their weight yet do nothing about it. Life is too short to listen to the daily empty promises people make themselves

OP, I'm glad you've managed to stay out of it. It sounded to me like you were being set up as the scapegoat.

As I think you know, her eating habits are not your responsibility. Neither are your colleagues' opinions and choices, or anyone's reactions to those.

Keep on keeping out of it. "Smile & nod".

doesn't sound like a very nice team being so horrid about or to a person with weight issues.
telling her to lose wiehgt wont help if its a bad as it written here.ts addiction now.
help her feel good help her feel there is more to her than weight.
help her feel gooda s a person and she will one day want to feel good health wise too.feeling crap because of what ur collegues think of you and how you look will only be driving her need to overeat.

Good choice.

As much as you might feel sad to think that another colleague would inappropriately interfere in this lady's business less sensitively than you would, if you don't want to risk a harassment case against you, staying out of it is your best option.

I am getting a bit sick and tired of the weight police in this country. Those adults who are over, under or ideal weight are responsible for themselves and it's no ones business.

You could wait until she starts again and then tell her how your 'friend' lost 6 sones at slimming world - and suggest she join

• if you're very fond of her you could offer to go along to the first meeting with her?

If you're not a dietician then don't go offering unsolicited advice about dieting!

Why not put an anonymous note in her desk?
If her perpetual going on about her latest diet is distracting the office from work, and the whole of MN seems to be against the idea of telling her, maybe do that.
The result would, hopefully, be the same (she stops going on) and you avoid being made the scapegoat and having to tell her yourself.

Logical, If someone did that to me I'd go straight to HR.
OP should just ignore the "overweight colleague" or change the conversation each time.

Why not put an anonymous note in her desk?
If her perpetual going on about her latest diet is distracting the office from work, and the whole of MN seems to be against the idea of telling her, maybe do that.
No! That would be just as upsetting for her if not more so! I'd be quite alarmed if anyone left me an anonymous, critical note at work - I'd probably formally report it to management!
If her manager feels something needs saying, her manager should do this, as her manager, in private. But I can't see that its justified. Leave the poor woman alone.

User - Helman's - Mayo, 2 tbsp 180 - 0 0 0 20 0

OP said 'laden' with mayo. I highly doubt in was 2 tbsp worth. In fact, judging by your measures, it would make a highly unlikely and unfulfilling lunch. (I assume there is more than literally green salad leaves, cheese and mayo - probably pasta that seems to be the usual combo)

Again - snacks on nuts all day. Very likely more than 25 grams.

That's a really weird assumption to make that an overweight woman who drinks sugary drinks and doesn't realise they are full of sugar would be on a keto diet.

I'd say try not to engage in any diet/food talk. I went to a self help group for eating disorders (to see if my daughter might want to attend regularly) and there was a lady there who was very overweight. She knew she was a compulsive eater, was very upset about her weight, and even more upset about comments from people at work.
Underneath what I had initially seen was a very unhappy person.
But a person has to be ready to make changes, and I think your colleague isn't yet.

Just because the manager has asked you to do something does not mean you have to do it, especially outside the remit of your job description.

This isn't for you to advise your colleague it's your managers role and responsibility, if I were the colleague I'd be hugely miffed.

I really really wouldn't say anything. I'm not hugely overweight but I've had someone point out to me that i am and it just made me feel worse. If you've told her the sugar content chances are she's just ignoring you.

It's none of your business. If her diet talk is disruptive in the workplace then it's her manager's job to speak to her and otherwise you should all just change the subject. Don't be the fall guy for your lazy boss.

There is absolutely no way the team get to decide that you must have this horrible conversation so they don't have to.

This woman can't be dense to the point she doesn't know that fat and sugar are bad for weight loss in tandem with starch and constant eating, or she'd be unemployable. She sounds like she has an eating disorder, frankly - it's all she talks and thinks about, she eats constantly, and she tells herself lies to be able to continue. If she had anorexia instead, everyone would be terribly sympathetic - the opposite manifestation, and people are judgemental.

Leaving a note in her desk would be bullying. Horrible, horrible thing to do to someone. Cowardly and the anonymity would mean she felt powerless and suspected everyone. In any competent and well-managed workplace, doing that would be a serious disciplinary offence. It sounds like this is a really poorly managed one.

I'd politely explain that you are really uncomfortable with the idea that you should talk about this with her, that it could jeopardise your friendship and that she clearly has food issues that could perhaps benefit from professional input, so you aren't even qualified.

I'd also be looking for a new employer. Your workplace sounds really, really horrible.

Its not up to you to say anything to be honest, I had a friend just like that, could not understand why she piled it on, when I saw what she ate I was not surprised x