To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding

[user1498221998]

My friend and I were both 16 stone this time 2 years ago. We both went on a diet and two years ,later I am now 10 stone and a size 10. She is still 16 stone and a size 18.

It's her wedding next Saturday and I showed my intended outfit to my Mum who said that while it looked beautiful I should wear something plainer and less figure hugging as almost everyone there hasn't seen me for over a year, doesn't know about my weight loss and I will attract too much attention away from the bride with my huge weight loss.

Do you think my Mum is right?

My friend will look beautiful anyway, so I don't see why I should have to deliberately look plain for her wedding!

My mum says it's 'rubbing it in' because she desperately wanted to be slim for her wedding. But that is not my fault.

So youve posted a link to a dress thars nothing like your actual dress..?

'Its like this one but longer, a different colour, made from a different material, no mesh panels and all in all, nothing like it'

Weird thread. Wear the dress. Presumably she knows you lost lots of weight and she didn't. Just wear the dress.

Well, in one way, you are not buying into the weight loss = success + beauty mindset as much as your Mum is. If the bride is your friend, I would hope you would be able to imagine whether she will stress about it or not. I think it would be polite (and also smart as people can be mean) to avoid getting drawn into conversations about your changed appearance, and to find ways to draw attention to the bride. Presumably she has seen you recently?

Your mum thinks the bride might be upset - would a good friend risk doing that to a close friend on their wedding day? Why take the risk?

OP - I suspect you are not going to listen to any of the people on here or in real life who have said it would be unkind to wear a dress like that to the wedding - I just hope you don't make a close friend unhappy on her special day. If you do, will it be worth it? Will you care?

Wear the dress. There's nothing wrong with trying to look your best for your friend's wedding - it's polite. I think that if the bride thought you'd changed your outfit so as not to 'outshine' her, she'd feel insulted and patronised. I know I would.

If you had worded your title differently OP, you would have had very different answers.

If you had put "I'm worried about upsetting my friend" and then posted a picture of the real dress, almost everyone would have said it was absolutely fine and you were worrying for no reason.

However, given the spiteful glee that you are thin and she isn't, you come across as quite unpleasant and not a great friend. Let's face it, the only reason you are going to this wedding is so hundreds of people can congratulate you on how "ahhhmazing" you look

Yeah, that photo was really helpful, OP.

"It's like this only different"

No you will look spiteful and everyone will think you are being spiteful

Ooh, yes, Coddiwimple. Spot on. OP, your ASOS dress makes the (gorgeous, pouting) model look like a typist on the razzle. Wear a fitted dress if you want, but channel Queen Rania of Jordan or indeed our own dear Duchess of Cambridge. No tatty meshy bits, no titties out, shoulders covered, down to the knee, good expensive fabric. Nothing tight under the arms. Maroon sounds a nice colour. But if your mum is saying, 'don't upstage the bride,' maybe she knows of what she speaks, eh? If fitted dresses are now your thing, with your new shape (and well done), and people are used to seeing you in them, then maybe you won't look like you're deliberately showing off.

'How dare you flaunt your curves on my special day!'
Bride breaks down as gorgeous guest turns up in a lace mesh panel thing"

By lazy "journalist"

I dont understand why would should not wear that dress.
I m sure you won't be the only one "size 10" and I bet there will be some size 8 women. Unless you became as beautiful as a Venezuelan beauty queen I'm sure no one will make a big deal of your new figure.

Unless the OP wears a sack how is she going to avoid ppl noticing the weight loss?!

She's not wearing white, a veil or has a train. She is wearing something appropriate for a wedding - maroon & knee-length. There will be other guests similarly dressed. Why should she go into purdah because she's lost weight?! It's thin-shaming.

Wear the dress.

What a funny thread. Lots of back pedalling to convince everyone the dress is neither stunning nor figure hugging..

I think you sound quite pleased that your friend didn't lose weight which is why you are looking for validation here

Who are all these people who haven't seen you for a year? Presumably not friends? Why would they care?

"Wear the dress if you want to but try to play down talking about the weight loss? There is a danger lots of guests that haven't seen you for a while will give that lots of attention."

There's also the danger that they won't actually be especially interested in the knicker size of someone they barely see from one year to the next......

The dress sounds fine btw. I've seen much worse.

I hope the bride has a lovely day. I'm sure she'll look beautiful.

I don't like that sort of dress myself OP but I'm sure it will look nice if it's longer and maroon. Well done on losing the weight.

Thing is, I agree, you will not be able to upstage your friend because she is the bride. You know her best and you know whether she will be upset if you wear the dress you've selected - or pick another one. As she's your friend and you're hers, you'll do what's right.

Not to pop your bubble but, it's already been mentioned, a lot of women will be slim and fit themselves. They may never have been overweight so you will just be another woman attending the wedding of somebody they presumably love. Nothing remarkable, just another guest.

If I were in your position I'd rather nobody said anything about my weight loss, just accepted me as I was. It's my own hang-up because my tiny granny always used to say to me (when hearing that I'd lost a pound or two when I was young), "That's good, Lying, but better that you didn't put it on in the first place"... Cut me down to size nicely. I miss my granny.

You said it was stunning and figure hugging, your mum is the only one who has seen it. Do you not value her honest informed opinion? Now you say it is simple and elegant, it cant be both. Are you back tracking because the majority agree with your mum?

I'm not sure what type of dress would disguise the weight loss. Boden probably have something she'd look suitably fat in.

[snort]

Smug much?

Up and down the country there are weddings where guests are thinner/fatter/prettier/uglier/funnier/smarter/duller than the bride etc
Wear the dress, everyone will look at the bride anyway.
There were people at my wedding who were prettier and thinner than me, I still felt incredible, didn't give it a thought on the day, and am only really thinking it now!

How do you think your friend will feel? You know her so would have a rough idea of hoe she will feel. I think the dress is fine youve said its knee length, not clingy and not sheer so i think would be fine i mean people are going to comment anyway on your weight loss as you cant hide it! Its her big day i really hope she feels amazing and although people will comment on your weight loss i do think most people will be focused on her. Saying that does your mum know your friend ? Or is it just something she thinks in general? Just wondering if she has some insight into hoe your friend is feeling.

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/women/sugarhill-boutique-boutique-kim-lace-dress/d739221.pd#255523348&_$ja=tsid:91443%7Ccid:706309872%7Cagid:36348743746%7Ctid:pla-268959165573%7Ccrid:198583443592%7Cnw:g%7Crnd:1458972521932560640%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:1o2%7Cmt:

Is this it? Not that special, if so.

Wear it. It sounds very nice and I have no idea what people wore to my wedding!