To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding

[user1498221998]

My friend and I were both 16 stone this time 2 years ago. We both went on a diet and two years ,later I am now 10 stone and a size 10. She is still 16 stone and a size 18.

It's her wedding next Saturday and I showed my intended outfit to my Mum who said that while it looked beautiful I should wear something plainer and less figure hugging as almost everyone there hasn't seen me for over a year, doesn't know about my weight loss and I will attract too much attention away from the bride with my huge weight loss.

Do you think my Mum is right?

My friend will look beautiful anyway, so I don't see why I should have to deliberately look plain for her wedding!

My mum says it's 'rubbing it in' because she desperately wanted to be slim for her wedding. But that is not my fault.

Its simple, if you're already thinking you will upstage the bride you probably will. I seriously suggest that this is not the moment to stage your caterpillar turned into a beautiful butterfly. I'm so pleased for you but this is not the moment for the spotlight to be on you.

Wear the dress.
Unless its long, white and has a veil. For then you would definatly be in the piss taking category.

Your mum is a bitch by the way.

Why don't you send a picture of the dress to your friend and ask her if it's suitable?

I've done it. The only smart dress I had in my wardrobe before one wedding was ivory.
I emailed a picture of it to my friend and said I could wear a coloured pashmina over the top and she said fine.

If your mate messages you back and demands you wear a muumuu and how dare you lose weight just to spite her then she's clearly a bitch too. In which case you should either not go to the wedding or go and wear the dress.

You're very brave for asking the Mumsnet crew about this one - they (we?) are having a field day! I'm sure you aren't deliberately gloating and feel genuinely concerned that you might upset your friend after your mum's comments.
This is a tough one if you aren't sure yourself how your friend will feel about it. IMO your weight loss is bound to attract compliments whatever you wear - the bride will already be psychologically preparing herself for this and whether she will or won't let it spoil her day is really up to her. That said, if you feel like your choice of dress will make her feel like you're rubbing it in then maybe choose something else: I'm sure you'll look great in lots of other dresses too.

IJust why on earth is the OP's mum a bitch? For suggesting that she should consider the bride's feelings? Since none of us has seen the dress, it's impossible to judge whether her mum had a valid point or not.

Can I ask why you posted this in AIBU?
The majority of posters here have said you are, your own mum has said you are but you still don't think you are.
Wear the dress, you obviously intend to making this thread pointless

I went to the wedding of a friend once who although attractive wasn't a head turner. Her best friend turned up a 'clubbing' dress (i.e. skintight, short, red etc) and looked incredible (she was beautiful, blonde and reed slim). It was all anyone talked about. I felt so sorry for the bride.

Incidentally, who wears maroon to a summer wedding?

Think you're getting a hard time here. People are supposed to look nice at weddings and there's no need to wear something baggy just because the bride is bigger than you! Enjoy your weight loss and feeling glam. If people talk to you about your weight loss, just answer! The bride will be wearing what she wants to wear, she'll feel lovely because it's her wedding day and she shouldn't give a stuff what you're wearing. Plenty of skinny friends at my wedding and I was glad they came and looked nice in my group photos

Maroon is an autumn colour. Agreed.

Be suitably gushing and complimentary to her and about her.

Wow. How's that for insincerity.

I think the OP perhaps is getting a hard time for her choice of words in the OP. If it said beautiful fitted dress, rather than stunning figure hugging, it wouldn't have sounded as bad.

LittleBird7

I know some of you ladies don't like us men on MumsNet, but as women are all different so are us men!

So, Read the damn post! I said "Go, enjoy yourself and feel proud and beautiful - just don't get smashed, hike your dress up and start dirty dancing with the bride's father..."

Jeez, some people.

Depressing thread. How is maroon an autum colour?? why can't it be worn in summer? Why are we policing what everyone wears FFS? I hate these rules which just make women look pathetic for bothering and feel self conscious if they are not following the rules. honestly, we are our own worst enemy at times. OP - wear what you want and enjoy your friend's wedding.

Incidentally, who wears maroon to a summer wedding? confused

Jesus fucking christ, didn't realise the fashion police were on patrol today.

Half of England wears black and khaki all summer but I don't throw paint over them and tell them their colour choice isn't allowed or it's "autumn colours" fgs

"Sorry dear, you can't wear pastel pink to our winter wedding, it's a summer colour" - said no-one fucking ever

I should wear something plainer and less figure hugging

This is all about your DM tbh.

I assume she is really good at the little jibes. Is your DM overweight? or are you slimmer than or as slim as here now?

This would be my DM. jealous and resentful of me. I don't have anything to do with her now.

Your mum is a bitch by the way

I just scrolled through 32 pages of this just to find if OP mentioned how she lost the weight 😭
@user1498221998 did you do a specific diet?

I am sorry, I have lost track along the way. Can someone be kind enough to tell me if there is a photo of the actual dress people have been discussing for 32 pages or is everyone still guessing?

Everyone is still guessing.

My view is that you should wear it, there's no way you can disguise your weight loss so you might as well look nice, and it does sound like a nice dress.

I would also like to say that I have loved Merchant's posts. Spot on.

No pics of dress
No diet tips
No op

thank you!

As you were, I am sure we can get a further 30 pages about the dress then!

I think that this thread has divided opinion because there are two opposing points-of-view running in parallel.

The view that women should consider the message that they portray through the clothing they wear, and the opposite view that women should not be judged on clothing. For all the "let the bride have her day don't be a bitch" comments there are the ones trying to get the judgmental posters to look at the bigger issue behind their initial brainwashed thoughts. Society sets women up to be controlled and to fail and other women join in with this. I am not happy to be part of the illusion and my DCs won't be brainwashed.

OP I hope you write a thread later to say that you wore the maroon dress shock horror at a summer wedding!

SaltySalt - you're right!!! We should all really get a life.

I think you already know the answer. Do the right thing, don't upstage your friend on her wedding day! This is one of the most important days of her life, not yours, you will have other chances to shine and show off your new figure. Her wedding day is not the time!

I agree about not upstaging the bride. It's her special day.