To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding

[user1498221998]

My friend and I were both 16 stone this time 2 years ago. We both went on a diet and two years ,later I am now 10 stone and a size 10. She is still 16 stone and a size 18.

It's her wedding next Saturday and I showed my intended outfit to my Mum who said that while it looked beautiful I should wear something plainer and less figure hugging as almost everyone there hasn't seen me for over a year, doesn't know about my weight loss and I will attract too much attention away from the bride with my huge weight loss.

Do you think my Mum is right?

My friend will look beautiful anyway, so I don't see why I should have to deliberately look plain for her wedding!

My mum says it's 'rubbing it in' because she desperately wanted to be slim for her wedding. But that is not my fault.

NameChangr678 "Would any of you genuinely be offended that a close friend lost loads of weight and you didn't, and then wore a nice dress to your wedding?"

As a groom I would have a lot of other things on my mind, but if I was aware that someone showed up in a stunning figure hugging dress then I would question their taste. It's not really about upstaging the bride, or indeed the bridesmaids, but a sense of appropriacy.

Were the OP to wear a bikini I'm sure she would still be welcome, but people would be rather bemused. But she would be escorted out if she brought out her ghetto blaster in the church.

Yes but stunning figure hugging dress can mean a wide variety of things, it could be a really lovely pastel lace figure-hugging dress (I posted a couple of examples many pages ago) or Kim Kardashian's latex monstrosity. OP said it was classy and wedding-appropriate, so I don't see the big issue.

I wish people wouldn't be mean to the OP. Yes, stunning figure hugging is unlikely to be wedding appropriate, and even less so given the bride and the OP tried to lose weight together. But she obviously cares or she would not have posted the question in the first place.

It's just the "not my fault if she couldn't lose weight" line that makes you sound like a crap friend. Obviously upstaging the bride is always tacky, even without the history. But perhaps you write without thinking about it much.

On the other hand I think some of the Kate Middleton dresses were both stunning and at least a bit figure hugging due to the cut, not cheap clingy fabric and they were all fine for a wedding.

MerchantofVenice

Oh my god borodin Are you a caricature of a twattish man?

On second thoughts- of course you are.

Apart from wanting to be rude to me, do you have anything to say? I assume you disagree with me. Why?

These are the sort of comments that put me off getting married. Its THE most important day in her life!!?? No pressure lol. Sorry that's beside the point. IF the dress is as the OP describes it sounds fine to me. I think all the negative bitching about this is interesting, where does come from?!! She could chat to her friend tho I suspect she has other things to worry about. Mum may be critical or over sensitive to the issue who knows but surely the best thing is for the poster to be herself and be proud. x

@BengalGal - page 14, I posted 2 example of figure-hugging dresses. I think they're extremely wedding-appropriate. I saw someone in one like it recently at a wedding, and she looked lovely. How could someone in a form-fitting dress upstage someone in a white meringue, bouquet, headgear, veil and bridesmaids????

The bride probably won't notice but I'd be inclined to look nice but definitely not too much flesh or white - that pic you put on wasn't flattering g or nice
For a wedding particularly if it's a posh affair - let her be the beauty for the day - you'll have (or had) your moment - dress smart but not sassy / trashy (not saying that'll look either but you'll understand I'm sure )
Enjoy her day

AIBU To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding

stunning and figure hugging are about dressing sexily, so you seem to be asking whether it's appropriate to dress sexily to a wedding.

If I'm right then from me it's s straight no. Otherwise I think you need to explain your choice of words.

namechangr are you a woman? Do you like being patronised by men? Did you read borodin's comments??

Why don't you think it's insufferable for a man to instruct a woman to stay a size 10 for a couple of years before having the audacity to show people her new figure??

Why don't you think it's insufferable for a man to instruct a woman to 'dress respectfully'?

Why don't you think it's insufferable for this man to instruct a woman to be grateful for her weight loss??

What, in short, is wrong with you? He is spouting the worst sort of insidious, poisonous sexism. And you're smiling along. Shame on you.

Yeah but what is or isn't "sexy" is literally anyone's guess. I don't think "stunning and figure-hugging" automatically implies sexy, you can get classy dresses like that - as long as they're not super short or low cut then it's fine.

Pippa Middleton's bridesmaid dress was "sexy", to be honest I think anything that isn't a tent/potato sack probably also is. Technically the only non figure-hugging dresses are those floaty maxi ones, and even they cling around the boobs.

Really we need to see the dress in question....

MerchantofVenice

"Borodin, have you read the thread? No, didn't think so."

Yup, I always read all of a thread before commenting. I can't see anywhere where you have "explained your opinions". In fact you seem to concentrate on name-calling. This is derailing the thread and I shan't be fuelling your temper any longer. You don't deserve a proper answer.

Oh yeah- and there was the bit where he implied women dressed sexily would be unlikely to be able to hold a conversation for more than 30 seconds.

He's a charmer.

You haven't read the thread, borodin. Zero points for trying to brazen it out.

*Why don't you think it's insufferable for a man to instruct a woman to stay a size 10 for a couple of years before having the audacity to show people her new figure??

Why don't you think it's insufferable for a man to instruct a woman to 'dress respectfully'?

Why don't you think it's insufferable for this man to instruct a woman to be grateful for her weight loss??

What, in short, is wrong with you? He is spouting the worst sort of insidious, poisonous sexism. And you're smiling along. Shame on you.*

That's also what 28 pages of women here have said. Dress respectfully! Don't upstage your friend! I'm way more upset at this shit from fellow women than from blokes, because we women are meant to support each other but are often our own worst enemies and saying OP is a "bitch" for wearing a dress she likes, because her friend is still fat.

Why are you not jumping on them too? Oh TBF, you have. Fairplay.

NameChangr678

My worry is that those words tell us what the OP intended by wearing it. No dress is stunning on its own, and going to a wedding ceremony with the intention to stun is a little odd.

Oh yeah- and there was the bit where he implied women dressed sexily would be unlikely to be able to hold a conversation for more than 30 seconds.

That's not how I read it - he said that no matter how sexy a woman looks, it's not important if she can't hold a conversation for 30 seconds.

Surely that's good, no?

and going to a wedding ceremony with the intention to stun is a little odd.

I don't think so - weddings only happen once a year or so, it's the best opportunity you get to properly dress up nice, curl your hair, wear a stupid hat, wear a colourful dress etc. I personally love dressing up for a good wedding In the 13 weddings I've been to I have NEVER seen a bride upstaged by a guest's dress, and I've seen a lot...bodycon, jumpsuit, vertical stripes. My gran even made herself an orange chiffon tent-dress.

MerchantofVenice

"He is spouting the worst sort of insidious, poisonous sexism. And you're smiling along. Shame on you"

No. Shame on you. The OP happens to be female and talking about her stunning figure hugging dress. What would you say to a man asking about turning up to a wedding in his stunning figure hugging leather jeans?

The sexism is yours.

If you really consider her your friend, don't do it ! Your mum is right... I would hate you if it was me .. haha because weight loss is a big problem itself :(

Wow sexism is still continuing on this thread.

Merchant I'm impressed you continue to fight the cause!

Don't you want to smile like a good girl to be pleasing on the eye?

Perhaps wearing clothes that are two sizes too big, please don't offend anyone by showing your figure. as society dictates what you wear according to unsaid rules that apply to women .

I am rubbish at fashion. And it is, as others have said, really hard to know without seeing the actual dress, whether you will be the svelte, stunning, figure-hugged siren that some posters seem to worry you'll be.

I would ask whether your mum's advice is usually right on such things and if you trust her? If it is, and you do, maybe you have another outfit that's suitable for a wedding and which don't have you worrying whether you've secretly upset your friend.

I am sure you will look great whatever you wear ... and well done on that fabulous weight loss. But if you are in any doubt, why not select something else and avoid the risk .....