To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding

[user1498221998]

My friend and I were both 16 stone this time 2 years ago. We both went on a diet and two years ,later I am now 10 stone and a size 10. She is still 16 stone and a size 18.

It's her wedding next Saturday and I showed my intended outfit to my Mum who said that while it looked beautiful I should wear something plainer and less figure hugging as almost everyone there hasn't seen me for over a year, doesn't know about my weight loss and I will attract too much attention away from the bride with my huge weight loss.

Do you think my Mum is right?

My friend will look beautiful anyway, so I don't see why I should have to deliberately look plain for her wedding!

My mum says it's 'rubbing it in' because she desperately wanted to be slim for her wedding. But that is not my fault.

Err so all thin people should wear ugly baggy clothes then. OK then. I'm a size 6. I never wear A line's because they bury me. I usually wear figure dresses because they suit my height and weight. This thread is just proof that women can never be happy for other women's success can they? Very pathetic!

There's no chance you'll upstage the bride...size 10 is average and no one pays attention to what anyone else us wearing.i could describe the wedding dresses from most of the weddings I've been to, but no clue what any of the other guests wore. Your weight loss of course feels like a big deal to you, but it's not to anyone else. They might come in passing but that's about it

This thread is just proof that women can never be happy for other women's success can they?

This thread is just proof that two people can have very different ideas of what a thread is actually proof of.

People who have never been properly fat don't really understand how amazing it feels to finally be able to wear a dress you've only ever see others wear.

I lost 5 stone when I was 32 and it changed my entire outlook. I felt like I'd taken off an invisibility cloak!

I can't remember if I was considerate to my weight loss buddies. I hope I was. Everyone's journey with their body image is so personal, I hope the OP, if she's still here, knowing what she knows of her friend, will do what is best for her, so she doesn't even have the tiniest little black cloud on her big day.

*comment in passing

Exactly China How very dare you wear what suits your figure.

It's irrelevant what people imagine the OP's 'attitude' is. What matters is whether she should wear a particular dress. If the dress is appropriate, then of course she should. Otherwise you're saying "yes, that dress would be fine on someone with a nice attitude, but you must wear a big baggy sack because you are a bitch."

Ffs.

Ideally the OP would show us the dress but she has already said she won't because she loves it and doesn't want us to criticise it...

Ponder that one, Mumsnet!

It's the thread title that has people pissed off, intentionally goady....how do we know you will look stunning op.....you may be an ugly ole pig with a slimmer figure.....go figure!

Yeah londonista what could she possibly be afraid of? Everyone has been so nice...

Most people have been quite supportive.
And this was very early on she said that.

It's just jealousy. Plain and simple. Do you think blokes would argue about this? Ban her from having her hair done too. What if her hair looks better than the brides? Make up?

Lucille sorry to be pedantic, but she said the dress was stunning, not herself.

But as I mentioned, her attitude (goady or not) is kind of irrelevant, isn't it? You think she's arrogant. So? Does that alter how she'll look? Are people advising her against the dress on the grounds she doesn't deserve to look nice?? That's fucked up.

Wear the dress. What's the alternative? A baggy kaftan? What are you meant to wear? Something that makes you look like you can't be bothered to make an effort in purpose?
P. S. No one will upstage the bride. That's why she wears a white meringue with a veil, train and flowers and attendants.

The whole jealousy thing is the laziest go to accusation on MN.

Oh and, virtue signalling!

Merchant

I haven't picked up on that. Of course she deserves to look nice.

Are people reading a different thread to me?

Most people have been supportive even if they disagree. But his is MN of course you're going to get some flaming!

Would the bride be jealous tho? I doubt it. TBH she'd be so happy on her day, she might not even notice OP. If you're toned and will look not only good but also appropriate (with other guests) in that dress then wear it. Otherwise why not splurge a little and go to Ted Baker? Some of their dresses are amazing.

Of course she can wear a nice dress if she wants to.

But it's a bit forward of her to think that her choice of outfit might spoil the bride's day.

For all we know the groom has a twelve inch willy, or is really rich- or even is just a perfectly ordinary bloke that the bride really really really likes.

Fat people can be happy too- even if there are gasp thinner people in the vicinity.

A bit of perspective wouldn't go amiss.

totally off point but i love kate middletons dress - the middle one with the lovely collar!

Wear the dress OP!

I think you must be reading a different thread londonista if you think most people have been supportive! Some have... but some of those who've been awful have been really awful.

You say you haven't picked up on this idea that OP somehow doesn't deserve to look nice. Really?? What other possible relevance could any of the comments about her 'attitude' have? Her attitude is totally and utterly irrelevant: if it's a suitable dress, it's a suitable dress. Makes no difference what thoughts she's entertaining as she puts it on...

But loads of people have gone straight for her attitude.

I guess I'm not looking for it like you are Merchant

But Merchant her mum thinks its inappropriate and she is the only one who has seen the dress, knows the OP, and her friend, and the dynamics of the friendship.

How can anyone on here know if her mum is right? And that is the question being asked.

I can't believe this thread! Honestly!

Wear the dress, OP. Its the bride's big day. A friend who has lost weight and is wearing a fairly modest maroon dress isnt going to 'steal her thunder'. Unless she is a bridezilla? is she? In which case, she needs to get a grip.

Maybe you should wear something like this?

Ok... I'm not really looking for it, I don't think... but one of my bugbears is unnecessary vindictiveness to OPs so maybe I am?? To me, people sneering at OP, saying, essentially, what makes you think you'll look so great is a nasty response to a perceived arrogance; it automatically makes it about attitude, not about what is and isn't appropriate. People are gleefully going for the 'tear down the woman who's inappropriately happy about her appearance' angle. They don't like her feeling so good about her appearance.

Nanna well I guess in rhat case, if you feel totally unable to offer any comments based on the descriptions and images that have been offered, I guess the only response is "sorry - can't comment."

Odd that people didn't all go for that, and instead went for 'stop rubbing her nose in it' and 'bet you'll look like a loon 'instead...