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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding

855 replies

user1498221998 · 27/06/2017 17:59

My friend and I were both 16 stone this time 2 years ago. We both went on a diet and two years ,later I am now 10 stone and a size 10. She is still 16 stone and a size 18.

It's her wedding next Saturday and I showed my intended outfit to my Mum who said that while it looked beautiful I should wear something plainer and less figure hugging as almost everyone there hasn't seen me for over a year, doesn't know about my weight loss and I will attract too much attention away from the bride with my huge weight loss.

Do you think my Mum is right?

My friend will look beautiful anyway, so I don't see why I should have to deliberately look plain for her wedding!

My mum says it's 'rubbing it in' because she desperately wanted to be slim for her wedding. But that is not my fault.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
Blankiefan · 27/06/2017 20:47

I lost a load of weight and was a uni friend's bridesmaid. Friend has always been slim. We were going to be seeing people we hadn't seen for years.

Friend drunkenly confided one evening that she was upset she might be overshadowed. (We obviously both looked fab on the day!)

It's her day. Give her it. You'll still.obviously be thinner. Don't rub it in.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/06/2017 20:48

OP, I've only posted once on this thread and you haven't been back but it's one of those 'blue touch-paper' threads and I suspect you know that. I also suspect that you know your friend might well be sensitive about her weight because, you know, you were also that weight. Were you sensitive about it then? I imagine so.

I'm wondering why you started this thread, asking random people who haven't seen the dress, don't know you, your friend or your mum - whether you will be rubbing your friend's nose in it.

Again, I suspect you know the answer to that but you want all of these posts for reasons best known to yourself.

Your mum's seen the dress, we haven't. If you can't trust the person who loves you best, why would you give a shit what randoms think?

Apologies for not thinking the best of your motives for that but... there it is. You know what you're going to do, just get on with it.

user1495484765 · 27/06/2017 20:49

OP - please wear the dress. I doubt the bride will mind. Ignore the jealous comments on here. You don't sound smug. You have lost a lot of weight, why wouldn't you wear a dress you feel good in for your mate's wedding. The dress you showed as an example (albeit yours is a different colour and is longer) does not look tarty at all. As others have said, you have lost a lot of weight which will be noticeable whatever you wear. If you wear something baggy it will look like you have not made any effort whatsoever.

I have recently lost a stone and a half since January. Really slow weight loss by eating less and moving more. Never told anybody except OH and now it is starting to show. I have had to buy new clothes too, and I have bought clothes outside the style I normally wear because I no longer feel the need to cover stuff up. They are not tarty clothes, just a bit more stylish than I have worn for a long time. And now the comments and dirty looks have started - apart from one colleague who told me I looked terrific. I am not strutting my stuff, or talking about it but just me making more of an effort is getting people's goat.

Wear the dress. Don't let anybody put you off.

Scrumpernickel · 27/06/2017 20:49

It's not your problem she couldn't be arsed to lose weight and stay fat.

That sentence doesn't even make sense.

peachgreen · 27/06/2017 20:54

Hmm. Thing is, this isn't 'slim girl wears nice dress to wedding', it's 'newly slim girl who dieted alongside bride and succeeded where bride failed wears "stunning figure-hugging" dress to wedding to reveal dramatic weight loss to friends who will be seeing her transformation for the first time'. It's a bit different.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/06/2017 20:55

user149... you have no idea whether people are jealous or not. If they've never had a weight problem, why the hell would they be jealous - of the OP, of you, of anybody else?

I'd probably be envious of somebody who could mainline a million Wotsits without putting on an ounce but somebody who has had to work hard to shift weight, no, sorry.

I'm really pleased for you that you've lost weight, the same as I'd be pleased for anybody who lost weight that they wanted to but, the 'jealous' comments are a bit daft and mostly wide of the mark on this thread.

RhubardGin · 27/06/2017 20:55

That sentence doesn't even make sense

Why should the OP not show of her new body that she worked hard for because her friend might feel put out according to OP's mum?

The bride is still big, she didn't want or feel the need to lose weight so why should that be the OP's issue?

Struggling to see what doesn't make sense to you.

BertrandRussell · 27/06/2017 20:57

Absolutely, peach. Also "newly slim girl whose mother has suggested might be being a little unkind wears etc etc etc........."

BertrandRussell · 27/06/2017 20:59

"The bride is still big, she didn't want or feel the need to lose weight so why should that be the OP's issue"

You must have missed where we were told that they were losing weight together-the OP succeeded-the bride failed................

londonista · 27/06/2017 21:00

Rhubard

Do you not think that your wedding day might be the one day you could expect some extra empathy from a close friend, particularly if you've not been able to achieve a weight loss you wanted for your big day?

Reasonable or not, it would be kind to show some consideration especially since they were weight loss buddies

SteppingOnToes · 27/06/2017 21:00

FFS not only are you going to rub your weightloss in your friend's face, you're doing it in WHITE too?!?! Talk about trying to upstage the bride...

Not read the full thread sorry

SteppingOnToes · 27/06/2017 21:01

Forget the weight loss, that's irrelevant - you're wearing a fucking white dress to a wedding!

user1495484765 · 27/06/2017 21:01

As someone said upthread, lot of projection going on in this thread. Some catty comments directed at OP. Par for the course. Up the sisterhood.

londonista · 27/06/2017 21:01

Stepping ... stand by for a flaming!!

(The dress is maroon)

NameChangr678 · 27/06/2017 21:02

*you're doing it in WHITE too?!?! Talk about trying to upstage the bride...

Not read the full thread sorry*

if you did, you'd find out the dress was in fact MAROON.

user1495484765 · 27/06/2017 21:02

The dress is maroon - and longer. How many times has the OP said that!

WhatchaMaCalllit · 27/06/2017 21:02

No she isn't Stepping - the OP linked a picture and mentioned that she was wearing a maroon coloured dress

WonderLime · 27/06/2017 21:05

Wear the dress. Honestly, I'm not sure if some posters on here are suggesting you to wear a fat suit or a tent. You are slim - you can't hide it. So what if the dress is figure hugging? It won't upstage the bride - she will be the centre of attention regardless.

Scrumpernickel · 27/06/2017 21:06

Struggling to see what doesn't make sense to you.

Read it again. Maybe it will click after a while.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 27/06/2017 21:08

I'm just here to see if the OP returns and confirms if one of the links is the sodding dress.

Sophiealice95 · 27/06/2017 21:10

I have a fat friend whose son was getting married and I had lost a hellova lot of weight , I deliberately didnt wear a figure hugging dress that I had already bought because she didnt manage to lose the weight she wanted to . She looked amazing and so did I but I still have my very good friend and to this day I am so glad I did this .

upperlimit · 27/06/2017 21:10

Yes, the dress is maroon, longer and not in any way see through, it's also made of cotton. So take a long look at the dress the op linked to and then imagine the opposite. HTH.

happinessbythekilowatt · 27/06/2017 21:11

Maybe the OP should just wear a nice, loose fitting burlap sack. Hmm perhaps even a cloak. 100 denier tights to cover up those legs!

Or she could just wear the dress she likes

Scrumpernickel · 27/06/2017 21:11

I've scrolled all the way back to see the dress that's a bit like the dress but not actually the dress. It doesn't look much like a dress I'd expect to see at a wedding but maybe that's just the weddings I go to.

OP if your mother is generally a sensible sort who is sensitive to other people's feelings, including your own, I'd be inclined to take her advice and wear something else.

Well done on reaching your weight goal.

WanderingTrolley1 · 27/06/2017 21:11

Blimey. You're unreal, OP..

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