To wear a stunning figure hugging dress to a close friends wedding

[user1498221998]

My friend and I were both 16 stone this time 2 years ago. We both went on a diet and two years ,later I am now 10 stone and a size 10. She is still 16 stone and a size 18.

It's her wedding next Saturday and I showed my intended outfit to my Mum who said that while it looked beautiful I should wear something plainer and less figure hugging as almost everyone there hasn't seen me for over a year, doesn't know about my weight loss and I will attract too much attention away from the bride with my huge weight loss.

Do you think my Mum is right?

My friend will look beautiful anyway, so I don't see why I should have to deliberately look plain for her wedding!

My mum says it's 'rubbing it in' because she desperately wanted to be slim for her wedding. But that is not my fault.

Wear your lovely dress OP, congratulations on your amazing weight loss. You could always ask your friend, prior to the wedding, what she thinks of your dress choice.

Perhaps the kindest thing to do would be to put on all the weight before the wedding?

If the dress is appropriate for a wedding for any other woman, wear the dress and be proud about it, OP. Your friend had her chance to be slimmer, it's not your fault if she's much thicker than she'd like to be.

As your friend, the bride should be proud of you. I would never expect my friend to downplay herself so I can feel good. Plus, there is no way you'll be able to hide that much weight loss no matter what you wear and the bride will be constantly reminded of her failed weight loss bid from looking at other women. I'm surprised people aren't telling you to just hide at home, or shove a few burgers down you to catch up a bit.

As long as you're not constantly chatting about your diet or volunteering info about your weight loss, I think you can be sensitive without hiding yourself.

The bride will be beautiful no matter what and everyone will let her know it.

There is, as has already been said, a whole world of options between a "stunning, figure hugging dress" and a plain sack.
As others have said, this isn't about a particular dress, but is about you knowing how your friend feels.
It's brilliant that you have achieved the weight loss and figure you set out to, but, as your Mum has pointed out, your friend will be disappointed she didn't manage it, and going out with the sole intent of flaunting your weight loss is not a nice thing to do.
If you have lost that much, it will be apparent to everyone anyway without going 'all out there' as per your op / title.

In fact I think a generally good rule of thumb is that if a dress is described as 'bodycon' then no, it's isn't a good 'elegant' choice for a wedding

Nothing wrong with fitted/figure hugging. Nothing wrong with them at weddings up to a point.

However the descriptor 'bodycon' NEVER seems to go along with anything other than clubby/wine-bar style dresses. I have never seen a dress in this category look elegant. Sexy, eye-catching, dramatic, definitely absolutely lovely if that's your thing, but NOT wedding-style elegant.

I think what you describe is wedding appropriate but seeing as you both went on weight losing mission together you shouldn't wear something so tight. I'd feel shit if I were her and the bride shouldn't have to have her weight loss failure unintentionally rubbed in her face on her big day.

why don't you phone the bride and ask her if your weight loss and amazing dress would upstage her?

Sure she would tell you the truth

She 'desperately wanted to be slim' for her wedding day and you're going along in your 'stunning figure hugging dress' and there just happen to be loads of people there who haven't yet seen your weight loss?
I'll tell you what, op. Why don't you have your very own 'I'm not fat any more' party. Then you won't need to hijack her wedding, will you?

Your friend had her chance to be slimmer, it's not your fault if she's much thicker than she'd like to be.

Oh WetPaint4 that has got me literally crying, I know you aren't being mean at all but omg THICKER than she'd like to be

Well done on your weight loss, I'm jealous of course. I do think you know that your mother is probably right?

I realise that this is not the thrust of the thread however what struck me more is that the bride is '16 stone and a size 18'. I know everyone has a different build/weight therefore I'm also jealous of her! I'm 5ft 8, 12.5 stone and have to buy size 16-18.........?

Some of the guests are going to be thinner than the bride (some will be fatter) I imagine the bride is robust enough to cope with the fact that there are people in the world thinner than she is. Upstaging her would be if you wore a spandex wedding dress with a fifteen foot train and the back cut down to your arse crack.
A maroon knee length cotton dress, not so much.

There are 100+ people looking at that linked House of Fraser dress right now!!

This thread is horrible. OP quite clearly stated that she didn't think she'll upstage the bride but that that is what her mum is saying.

The suggestion on here is that fat = ugly and yet there are posters going on about feminism.

Seriously, would people really prefer that their friends didn't wear what they wanted because they thought they might look better than you? Really? I'd find that far offensive than someone wearing a skintight, cleavage bearing leather dress that they felt a knock out in.

This thread is depressing

Maybe it's actually this rather lovely Amish/Mennonite outfit 😉

FFS, there are more options than either wearing a "stunning, figure-hugging" dress, or a sack!

OP, your mum has seen the dress, listen to her. Or, ask your friend what she thinks of the dress. If she's fine with it, then go ahead and wear it.

What about the other female guests who have always been slim?

I'm a size 6 and some things do look 'attention seeking' on me, frankly. Ergo I wouldn't wear one of them to a wedding.

I don't think you sound gleeful or smug or any of the others words used to describe you. There are some bonkers replies on here.

You want to look nice for your friends wedding, so wear what you look nice in. You can't stop people commenting on your weight loss by changing what you wear, just thank them and move the conversation on.

I had a friend who many years ago was asked out for dinner by a man. She asked if I wanted to go along, then asked me if I would 'dress down'. Internally I thought WTF? And declined to go with her. She was insecure in herself and I was not going to be shamed by the way I looked, which tbh is average at best, because of it.

I don't think people are suggesting that fat is ugly. I don't like the fact that the OP is clearly looking to show off and make the bride feel like shit on her wedding day. She clearly doesn't care about the bride's feelings.

Her mum has given her conscience a tug, but she's clearly going to wear it as the needs of her vanity are more important to her than her friendship with the bride.

And OP, people will see straight through it at the wedding and you will come off looking like a desperate loon.

Congratulations on your weight loss. Some of these answers are crazy, you don't need to hide in a sack so as not to 'upstage' her! Wear the dress. Nobody's going to care! Least of all the bride. Why would she? It's her day, everyone's there to celebrate her wedding, it's not like the wedding is going to stop so everyone can admire your weight loss. Although you will get many well deserved complements. Again so what? That's normal!

All the most awful posters have come out for this one, I see...

You may think the OP was being smug... but if you actually look at her words, she was simply explaining the issue; any judgement you've made is speculative.

However, all the nasty comments about the OP's taste in dresses, all the digs at her supposed arrogance and lack of style - those are plain to see, in black and white.

There are also lots of stupid comments. Figure-hugging just means that the dress follows the shape of your figure. It's the opposite of baggy. It does not denote the type of fabric. It does not been lycra.

I really hate the way MNetters seem to think there is ONE way to do things, eg ONE way to dress for a wedding. What bullshit. We've all been to weddings and we've all seen hundreds of styles worn. Ffs.

Wear it OP.

OP, You won't look like a desperate loon. You'll look like a woman in a nice dress that she has chosen for her friends wedding. Just like pretty much every other woman there.

it's not the OP's fault that the bride hasn't managed to lose weight.

Exactly.

Also, bodycon in certain styles can look very classy at a wedding - I went to one recently and the lady in it looked lovely (powder blue bodycon with lace). Obvs not the lycra-y nighclub type dresses.