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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be angry at dp for booking this holiday?

565 replies

Imengagedtoanidiot · 26/06/2017 20:42

  • [Message from MNHQ - just noting, this thread was started in July 2017 and has been resurrected FOR NO GOOD REASON Wink - move along now, please there's nothing new to see here...]

So for ages I've been saying I wan to go to Paris I've never been and it's always been somewhere I want to go but money's right ATM.

Anyway I was talking about how much I want to go in front of my mum a few months and turns out she said to dp to book it for us, she'll have the DCs and pay for the trip for my birthday and keep it as a surprise.

I found out this trip was booked last week by accident and was obviously very excited although felt awful that my mum had given dp the money (£500)

I've just had a look at the details and he's booked it leaving on a Saturday afternoon (arriving late Saturday) and returning very early Monday morning. He booked the Monday off work for me and confirmed mum was having the dcs from Friday night and dropping them to childminder Monday (we collect at 6pm)

AIBU to be fuming that he's taken £500 for essentially 1 day?? I've looked and he could have got Friday evening/early Saturday flights and late Monday flight back for the exact same price so it's not a price issue - he said he just 'didn't think'. He's saying I'm so ungrateful and should be thankful for him (he didn't bloody pay for it)

I'm really upset and don't know if I am being ungrateful and a spoilt brat but I'm just pissed off and feel like my dream break and first holiday without dc is a fucking joke.

I've tried changing the flights and even cancelling but the charge is excessive.

OP posts:
YoureNotASausage · 26/06/2017 23:06

OP you're getting some venom from some very bitter people here. I can't believe it!

wiltingfast · 26/06/2017 23:06

He's a total fuckwit, I'd kill him personally.

He didn't THINK??? Hmm bet if he was arranging a boozy weekend with the lads he'd have thunk.

YANBU

I'd make him change the flights and pay the extra frankly. Might encourage him to engage his brain next time.

Pipsqueak11 · 26/06/2017 23:07

Im with you OP - how irritating that what could have been an exciting break is really just a lot of travelling - whats his excuse for being a prat and failing to do any research ?

PookieDo · 26/06/2017 23:09

Everyone probably hates me I mention how much I would like to go to Italy pretty much every time someone brings up the subject of holidays. I tried to find something that would work for a weekend in Italy but the transfers and travel just didn't work well

OP is saying that she will feel rushed and stressed and not at all relaxed, knowing the whole time it could have been twice the length but having to get up early Sunday to pack in sight seeing and Monday to travel home.
If you haven't had a child free break in a long time, or ever, does all the early starts and rushing sound appealing?

childmaintenanceserviceinquiry · 26/06/2017 23:09

I haven't read the thread.

He is bvu. A weekend is that 2 days. It sounds truly to me as if he couldn't be bothered. Your mum has paid. £500 is a lot of money for a weekend, your dp could have shopped around, got a greet deal for the money, instead he bought the first thing he could see, totally disrespectful to your mum and to you.

I hope you have a lovely time. Next time dp wants to do something you know exactly what to do,

tessieandoz · 26/06/2017 23:09

YANBU

I would feel exactly the same

tessieandoz · 26/06/2017 23:13

Change the flights and swallow the additional costs, otherwise you wont enjoy it and will live with regret instesd of happy memories

PollytheDolly · 26/06/2017 23:14

Bloody hell, I need more time than that to get from Yorkshire to Suffolk for a weekend!

I'd be miffed too if I'm honest. Can you not change anything to make it a bit longer?

Huldra · 26/06/2017 23:16

Yeah, I would be a bit disapointed too, it doesn't take too much thought and googling to make better use of the time.

My husband is shit at trip planning, his sisters are too, they don't really think things through and I have to sit on my hands and grin. We've just had to book a flight for one of my teens to fly solo and get to the airport by himself. We both googled and came out with different answers.

He saw flights from some airports for 50 and kept shaking his head at my flights for around 100 from nearer airports. I told him my reasons, he nodded and agreed, then went back to the 50. I had to take him step by step through each option, yes dear BUT he needs to be on a plane by 9am and he needs to get to the airport BY HIMSELF.

Cheaper flights - So he needs to get to the airport by 5 to 7 am, depending on flight. The only public transport, coach or train goes via London, that would take over 3 hours. Do you want to google trains and buses that leave our town at 2 to 3 am? There aren't any? If there were that would be shit for him? Right. Lets move on, so yes he could stay at a hotel there the night before. That would cost 70, so 50 plus 70, plus extra food, plus the longer public transport?? Ok so you're suggesting asking your parents to drop him? Yes? Ok now you're telling me that you think it's too early for them? You don't want to phone them and ask, despite there only being 3 seats at that price left? But you still want to do the 50 flight from that airport?

More epensive flight - He leaves the house at 5am, walks 10 mins to train station, gets 30 min transport to terminal, he gets on plane. God that was an exhausting conversation.

Bringmewineandcake · 26/06/2017 23:17

Change the flights, lose a bit of your spending money. Otherwise you could end up feeling cross for the whole time day you're in Paris and spoil it for yourself.
I get your disappointment, now you've got to try and make the trip work for you and your mum.

Huldra · 26/06/2017 23:18

Apologies for ranting Grin

If you don't have much time the tourist water taxis are good, you pay for the day and they drop you off at many of the various tourist spots. You used to be able to use club card vouchers for it. It's nice to have some time sitting down.

Starflame · 26/06/2017 23:19

Well wow! You're a nasty piece of work. If I was him I would have used that £500 to get as far away as possible from you Hmm

PoppyFleur · 26/06/2017 23:20

YANBU OP I would be pretty annoyed.

Very little thought has gone into the weekend, he hasn't researched anything to maximise the time spent in Paris or ensure the money your mum has generously given is being spent well.

I feel annoyed on your behalf.

Huldra · 26/06/2017 23:24

Starflame I don't think her Mum would be too pleased with that, it's her 500 to treat her daugter.

MadeForThis · 26/06/2017 23:24

Sounds like he doesn't really want to go so just booked a short trip.

Is there something else he would have preferred to do? Pub with his mates? Lie on the sofa?

Anyone excited about a free trip to Paris would want to make the most of it.

hellymart · 26/06/2017 23:26

I agree he has cocked up a bit but then, he's a man! I think you just have to make the best of it - smile and enjoy yourself (it's your DREAM holiday, after all!). In the big scale of things (terrorist attacks, people killed in burning towers) it's not exactly the end of the world. When you have more money, at a future date, you can go back and do all the bits you won't get to do this time. Paris is not a city you can 'do' in 3 days anyway. Don't spoil things by having a go at DP. He - and your Mum - are trying to make you happy. The least you can do is be grateful.

SomeOtherFuckers · 26/06/2017 23:26

He's not been great tbh but also Paris is both expensive and a bit overrated . They both tried to be nice

honeyroar · 26/06/2017 23:28

Rhubarb you're coming up with some strange assumptions here!

ethelfleda · 26/06/2017 23:28

If it was me I would try to think of your DPs thought process. If you think he was genuinely trying to do a nice thing and thought you would be pleased but perhaps booking holidays isn't one of his strong points then I would go easy on him. If you suspect he just couldn't be arsed and booked the first thing he saw as he didn't give a crap then I would be annoyed.

TattyCat · 26/06/2017 23:30

Don't spoil things by having a go at DP. He - and your Mum - are trying to make you happy. The least you can do is be grateful.

This. Don't be a miserable ungrateful cow and moan about how short it is; make the most of the time you have there. Life is short.

manhowdy · 26/06/2017 23:32

What ethel said.

Essentially if he's very very thick I'd let him off and try to make the most of it. But if he's - as you seem to suspect - taken your mum's money and spent it without any real thought then, nope. Dickhead.

Abloodybigholeintheground · 26/06/2017 23:33

I'm with you OP. You'll have a normal Friday night at home with no kids, faff around for most of Saturday until your flight, arrive Sat evening and see the inside of your hotel! Then a whistle stop tour of Paris on a Sunday without a lot open, Sunday night meal, early night ready for flight home to U.K. early Monday morning and faff around all day Monday until you collect the kids! Is there anything you want to do without your kids in your home town....this might be your chance! Hmm

Kardashianlove · 26/06/2017 23:34

It seems really strange that he would book to go late Saturday rather than early Saturday when they are the same price! Why would anyone do that?

What has he said when you have asked him why he chose the late Saturday flight over the early Saturday flight or a Friday night flight?

haveacupoftea · 26/06/2017 23:36

He sounds quite stupid, which is irritating, but not worth sulking over. Enjoy your weekend, I would give my right arm to have either a mum or a DP who would take me to Paris.

magicstar1 · 26/06/2017 23:37

I can't be the poster who said "but then he's a man"
Ffs that's nothing to do with it...he's a gobshite who didn't bother putting any effort in.

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