Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be angry at dp for booking this holiday?

565 replies

Imengagedtoanidiot · 26/06/2017 20:42

  • [Message from MNHQ - just noting, this thread was started in July 2017 and has been resurrected FOR NO GOOD REASON Wink - move along now, please there's nothing new to see here...]

So for ages I've been saying I wan to go to Paris I've never been and it's always been somewhere I want to go but money's right ATM.

Anyway I was talking about how much I want to go in front of my mum a few months and turns out she said to dp to book it for us, she'll have the DCs and pay for the trip for my birthday and keep it as a surprise.

I found out this trip was booked last week by accident and was obviously very excited although felt awful that my mum had given dp the money (£500)

I've just had a look at the details and he's booked it leaving on a Saturday afternoon (arriving late Saturday) and returning very early Monday morning. He booked the Monday off work for me and confirmed mum was having the dcs from Friday night and dropping them to childminder Monday (we collect at 6pm)

AIBU to be fuming that he's taken £500 for essentially 1 day?? I've looked and he could have got Friday evening/early Saturday flights and late Monday flight back for the exact same price so it's not a price issue - he said he just 'didn't think'. He's saying I'm so ungrateful and should be thankful for him (he didn't bloody pay for it)

I'm really upset and don't know if I am being ungrateful and a spoilt brat but I'm just pissed off and feel like my dream break and first holiday without dc is a fucking joke.

I've tried changing the flights and even cancelling but the charge is excessive.

OP posts:
RhubardGin · 26/06/2017 22:42

For the posters arguing that it wasn't even his idea it was her mums well of course it wasn't his idea.

OP stated that they were tight for money so it would never have crossed his mind for him to book a holiday to Paris while they couldn't afford to.

Her mum kindly offered the cash, ill assume on a IOU basis and he took the opportunity. Why you were banging on about Paris when you knew you couldn't afford it is beyond me.

CaretakerToNuns · 26/06/2017 22:42

Typical husband who doesn't give a shit. I'd leave him behind and go with mum if possible.

JeanSeberg · 26/06/2017 22:44

Have you checked which airport you're flying to ...

YoureNotASausage · 26/06/2017 22:47

It's not just not perfect! He's turned her dream 3 day holiday into a 1 day holiday for no reason at all except maybe because he's not good at organising things.

Some of you people have very low expectations of your partners intelligence.

She shouldn't be grateful to him, he's done nothing but badly book a free holiday.

gluteustothemaximus · 26/06/2017 22:47

Ok, so everyone slating the Op's DP - see if you can book a decent weekend in Paris this weekend, for £500. Let's have a look then...

He booked it a week ago, so let's have a go for next weekend.

I've just got Easy Jet flights Friday afternoon, coming back Monday evening, staying for 3 nights in lovely 4 star hotel for £543.

What a weekend THAT would be. That's what I would have done. Chucked in £43, and made it 3 nights in Paris.

YoureNotASausage · 26/06/2017 22:48

Rhubarb, I hope you never mention anything in life you would love to try or experience if you can't afford it!!

VeryButchyRestingFace · 26/06/2017 22:48

I'm really agog at the posters here who think OP is a thankless meany to her poor dopey-as-fuck put upon husband. Shock

shinynewusername · 26/06/2017 22:48

Why you were banging on about Paris when you knew you couldn't afford it is beyond me.

Yeah, know your place, OP. No one who is tight for cash is allowed to have a dream. Hmm

PookieDo · 26/06/2017 22:49

I don't even need to look I know you can go to most European cities from Friday to Monday for £500 if you are clever about it.

MissDuke · 26/06/2017 22:50

I totally understand op, it was so kind and generous of your mum, it is a shame your oh didn't follow it through properly. I would be annoyed too! To be honest, I really would go ahead and change the flights if it were me, if there's any way you can afford to.

tillytown · 26/06/2017 22:50

I'm with you OP, it's thoughtless and disappointing

BarbarianMum · 26/06/2017 22:52

...or if not Friday to Monday, then at least first thing Saturday to Monday afternoon. You don't even have to be clever for that one. Hmm

Rachel0Greep · 26/06/2017 22:52

I'm puzzled at posters saying the OP should be grateful and 'he tried to do a nice thing'. No, he didn't. All he had to do, if he couldn't be arsed to do a bit f research is ask a travel company to do it for him, and have the wit to say that as it was a weekend they wouldn't mind early flights or whatever it took, to make the most of the weekend.
OP, if I were you, I would see if there is ANY possibility of changing flights. I know you have said it is expensive but might be worth it.
Enjoy the trip anyway. Paris is lovely. And your mum is obviously a fab mum.

5LiveSportsExtra · 26/06/2017 22:53

I just searched - two direct flights from my local airport to CDG, leaving at about half eight Friday morning returning half eight Monday night £320. Three nights at cheap but nice looking centrally located hotel with good reviews on the Booking.com website, about £180. There are loads of Paris flights from my local (non-London) airport though.

Original poster
Imengagedtoanidiot · 26/06/2017 22:57

I was not banging on about Paris when I couldn't afford I was talking about something I'd like to do infront of my family, it's quite a normal thing to do in the real world.

As stated mum offered the money as a birthday present so he has not offered it back to her.

Flights were the same for morning/afternoon. We have the option of any LDN airport so there's quite a few flights to choose from with cheap airlines as well as Eurostar...also the hotel is a cheapy (I don't care about that at all though)

The point is he had other options and he did not think to utilise the time we had there and instead quite clearly just booked the first one he saw and didn't think...

I don't see why I should be greatful for that. I'm greatful to my mum for providing us with the holiday, and I suppose I have gratitude to dp for picking up the phone/opening a webpage and booking it but aside from that I think he could have made a slight bit more effort to give us 3 days in my dream destination for the same price he's chosen to pay for 1.

If aNy of you have ever been tight for funds, you may see more where I am coming from that opportunity such as this rarely come about.

Each to their own, I'll be sure to tell dp he did a fabulous job To mumsnet standards.

I'm sure next time he uses the phrase 'all the other dad's at work get to laze about at home and their wives do everything' he'll tell me to ask the mn jury as they clearly think all men are goddesses to be worshiped Grin

OP posts:
Toddle · 26/06/2017 22:57

I do completely get where your coming from. I have a friend who lives abroad, another friend and I booked to go see her on seperate weekends for Friday-Monday. She's single and childless so took whatever flights she fancied and had a lovely near 4 day break there arriving early Friday leaving late Monday. Because I had to work around children/partners shifts I got there extremely late on Friday and left extremely early on Monday to be able to do school runs. However we both spent the same financially she got twice the break I did.

Although Id be greatful that my mother had given that as a gift, I would feel like he 'wasted' the opportunity and money somewhat.

ImaLannister · 26/06/2017 22:58

She doesn't despise or hate her DP. TBH I'd be pissed off too, because it is just for one day essentially. Waste of money when he could have got a whole lot more.

RhubardGin · 26/06/2017 22:59

OP said that she had been mentioning Paris to her mum for months. Probably explaining that they couldn't afford it.

Maybe her mum thought 'fuck sake, you've dropped enough hints' and shoved £500 in her husbands hand to shut her up.

There is nothing wrong with having a day dream or mentioning you would like to do something extravagant. But going on and on about it is bloody annoying if you are the person having to listen.

iamavodkadrinker · 26/06/2017 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

gluteustothemaximus · 26/06/2017 23:03

I wondered whether you were going from London. In that case, I'd have gone Eurostar.

I know exactly what you mean about tight funds. Every penny is precious..and you have to get the most bang for your buck.

biffyboom · 26/06/2017 23:03

Yanbu. I'd be pissed he's not put much effort or thought into spending your mum's money.

YoureNotASausage · 26/06/2017 23:04

Good lord Rhubarb, you're obviously thinking of some experience of your own here. Talk about reading a lot into nothing!

MargaretCavendish · 26/06/2017 23:05

There is nothing wrong with having a day dream or mentioning you would like to do something extravagant. But going on and on about it is bloody annoying if you are the person having to listen.

But you don't know she did that - you're having a go at OP for something you've made up in your head!

PookieDo · 26/06/2017 23:05

Yeah the imaginary convo Rhubarb is having about your mum is most weird IMO

Original poster
Imengagedtoanidiot · 26/06/2017 23:05

@rhubard
I did not say I was moaning to my mum for months about not being able to afford it - I said I mentioned it infront of my mum a few months ago.
Bitter are you? Has a peasent been begging for all of your riches or something? Hmm

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread