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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be angry at dp for booking this holiday?

565 replies

Imengagedtoanidiot · 26/06/2017 20:42

  • [Message from MNHQ - just noting, this thread was started in July 2017 and has been resurrected FOR NO GOOD REASON Wink - move along now, please there's nothing new to see here...]

So for ages I've been saying I wan to go to Paris I've never been and it's always been somewhere I want to go but money's right ATM.

Anyway I was talking about how much I want to go in front of my mum a few months and turns out she said to dp to book it for us, she'll have the DCs and pay for the trip for my birthday and keep it as a surprise.

I found out this trip was booked last week by accident and was obviously very excited although felt awful that my mum had given dp the money (£500)

I've just had a look at the details and he's booked it leaving on a Saturday afternoon (arriving late Saturday) and returning very early Monday morning. He booked the Monday off work for me and confirmed mum was having the dcs from Friday night and dropping them to childminder Monday (we collect at 6pm)

AIBU to be fuming that he's taken £500 for essentially 1 day?? I've looked and he could have got Friday evening/early Saturday flights and late Monday flight back for the exact same price so it's not a price issue - he said he just 'didn't think'. He's saying I'm so ungrateful and should be thankful for him (he didn't bloody pay for it)

I'm really upset and don't know if I am being ungrateful and a spoilt brat but I'm just pissed off and feel like my dream break and first holiday without dc is a fucking joke.

I've tried changing the flights and even cancelling but the charge is excessive.

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 26/06/2017 20:52

We'll have you asked him what the reason was that he's booked at odd times?

Maybe it's not how you'd have done it but you're being treated to it aren't you, why pick it apart and be horrible about it?

lampshady · 26/06/2017 20:52

I'm with you op - I'd be disappointing. I think it shows a lack of effort and research, like he's just booked the first thing that came up. Wandering round Paris is cheap and great and there's loads of free stuff so it's not like it'd be too expensive to go early and leave late. I don't think people should have to smile and nod because someone put the absolute minimum in.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 26/06/2017 20:53

Why are you with someone you despise so much?

burnoutbabe · 26/06/2017 20:53

Yes i'd be annoyed why they didn't book an Early Sat morning flight and a lunchtime/early afternoon Monday flight back.

I mean that is not rocket science to do? Why has he booked the one's with the least time there, rather than most time there?

ememem84 · 26/06/2017 20:54

Smile and say thank you you're going to bloody Paris!! I love Paris. Go for dinner in the Latin quarter on sat night, spend Sunday walking by the river eating patisserie, see the sights. Have a wonderful time.

Paris is amazing. Sit outside cafe and drink cafe au lait.

Be more grateful.

PinkHeart5911 · 26/06/2017 20:54

But he must of put money to it? You don't get flights and a hotel for 2 nights in Paris for £500 well not if you stay someone decent

Saturday night you could book somewhere nice to have your dinner, go for a nice walk
Sunday, pick what you'd like to do. Up at a reasonable hour and make the most of the day
Back Monday

Honestly it's booked now, you've always wanted to go so go and enjoy yourself.

Me & dh do mini breaks this way often, leave the dc with mil and we go Saturday afternoon to Monday. It works well

Piratesandpants · 26/06/2017 20:54

I'm with you op. yput mum gave him the money for a purpose and he should have taken it responsibly and spent the generous gift in a way to maximise it. Seems a disrespectful way to behave given your mums generosity. I'd be cross too.

ChameFangeNail · 26/06/2017 20:55

For the want of a bit of applied thought, he's wasted the money and the opportunity. He's organised and paid for one day in Paris for the same price as he could've got three days in Paris if he'd just put a bit of effort in.

usernamenonumber · 26/06/2017 20:57

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RainbowBriteRules · 26/06/2017 20:58

I also see why you are annoyed. Sounds like a rubbish deal, booked without enough thought, and now you will be expected to think the whole thing is amazing.

abigamarone · 26/06/2017 20:58

Maybe he could have sorted out better timings, but frankly you sound a bit overdramatic. Your OP states you're leaving for Paris on Saturday afternoon and a later post makes reference to arriving in the middle of the night. Unless you live thousands of miles away, you are exaggerating hugely.

Coastalcommand · 26/06/2017 20:58

Yes, I'd be upset too. But I'd get over it. Paris is lovely and maybe you could do something nice together at home on the Friday night too?

Fletchasaurus · 26/06/2017 20:59

I'm on the fence here, if it was me, I would have definitely done more research as it is a bit of a waste but your reaction isn't fair when he had done something nice. No, actually I think I'm mostly with you, he really hasn't thought it through!!

Mothervulva · 26/06/2017 21:00

I think you've got a point OP, it's a waste of money and opportunity.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 26/06/2017 21:00

I'd be disappointed by him.
He didn't pay for it, and it seems he didn't put any thought or research into it, just booked the first flights he found without thinking about what you would enjoy and how to make the weekend relaxing and fun.
Frustrating that he has used your mum's money so poorly. 500 pounds for only one full day there.

I'm not getting the posters saying they would be eternally grateful to the dh - he spent 20 mins booking a flight and hotel with someone else's money - he's hardly the milk tray man.

Does your mum know that you are having such a short trip yet?

HumphreyCobblers · 26/06/2017 21:00

I think I would be annoyed too.

It is not as if HE thought of a lovely plan and paid for it. If someone gave me money to spend on a weekend away then I would feel obliged to get the best deal for their money possibly, as well as for my own benefit.

midnightmisssuki · 26/06/2017 21:01

Confused you sound delightful ungrateful OP. If i was your husband i would take your lovely mum and go. Maybe that was the best deal that was available at that time? I am not surprised he's called you ungrateful - you deserve it!

sparklefarts · 26/06/2017 21:01

I'm going against the grain, id be upset to. Also partly for my mum as it seems a lot of money to spend for one day when you could have had two days there.

My OH would look and plan it so that we get the most time there.
Anyone who claims they wouldn't be slightly upset if their oh just went 'meh I'll book whatever flights without thinking' is either lying or just a bit odd.

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 26/06/2017 21:01

LACK OF THOUGHT??????

FFS! He's taking YOU to Paris! You are a spoilt Madam. 1 day is better than 0 days. I would leap in the air if my DH took me to Paris for a day. You are, essentially, getting three days without your kids - most of Saturday, Sunday and Monday as you said yourself, you're not picking them up til 6pm!

It doesn't matter that he didn't pay for it but yes, he took the time to book it and get a day off work.

YABVVVVVVVVU!

RainbowBriteRules · 26/06/2017 21:02

Exactly, what has he said to your mum? If I gave someone £500 for Paris I would expect them to do at least a half decent job of booking it.

Hulder · 26/06/2017 21:02

Also with you OP. OK, he's booked you a mini-break with someone else's money

But with an ounce of thought, that money could have gone far further which would have been respectful to your DM, andyou would have had a better break.

It doesn't take a genius to work out that a mini-break means travelling late Friday/early Saturday and back late on the Monday.

hippyhippyshake · 26/06/2017 21:02

Although I would probably have held my tongue I'd be bloody outraged! What a waste! Early Saturday flight would leave the whole afternoon and evening for wandering and sightseeing, a whole day Sunday ditto, (especially needed if long queues at the Eiffel Tower), then a leisurely breakfast, shopping, coffee stops etc on Monday before a late afternoon/early evening flight home. Is it too late to at least change one of the flights?

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 26/06/2017 21:02

I'd be incredulous if my DH had done this. I agree he's a bit of a tit, but hey, you're going.

AdalindSchade · 26/06/2017 21:02

I agree with you!
36 hours in Paris including 2 nights is daft and a waste of money, when he could have booked 2.5 days for the same money.

Ceto · 26/06/2017 21:03

I don't understand why people are so keen to say you are being unreasonable. When your mum has given him money she may not be able to spare easily so that you can visit somewhere your partner knows you really want to go to, it's perfectly reasonable to wish he'd put more effort into maximising what you'd get for your mother's money.