To be angry at dp for booking this holiday?

[Imengagedtoanidiot]

• [Message from MNHQ - just noting, this thread was started in July 2017 and has been resurrected FOR NO GOOD REASON - move along now, please there's nothing new to see here...]

So for ages I've been saying I wan to go to Paris I've never been and it's always been somewhere I want to go but money's right ATM.

Anyway I was talking about how much I want to go in front of my mum a few months and turns out she said to dp to book it for us, she'll have the DCs and pay for the trip for my birthday and keep it as a surprise.

I found out this trip was booked last week by accident and was obviously very excited although felt awful that my mum had given dp the money (£500)

I've just had a look at the details and he's booked it leaving on a Saturday afternoon (arriving late Saturday) and returning very early Monday morning. He booked the Monday off work for me and confirmed mum was having the dcs from Friday night and dropping them to childminder Monday (we collect at 6pm)

AIBU to be fuming that he's taken £500 for essentially 1 day?? I've looked and he could have got Friday evening/early Saturday flights and late Monday flight back for the exact same price so it's not a price issue - he said he just 'didn't think'. He's saying I'm so ungrateful and should be thankful for him (he didn't bloody pay for it)

I'm really upset and don't know if I am being ungrateful and a spoilt brat but I'm just pissed off and feel like my dream break and first holiday without dc is a fucking joke.

I've tried changing the flights and even cancelling but the charge is excessive.

Op, why don't you take your mum and leave him home with kids? It's hardly going to be a romantic break now and if you really don't think he's put any effort in, maybe he's not that fussed to go.

I'm confused as to why people think the OP should be grateful to her partner. He's getting the same bloody holiday, for her birthday. He's the one who should be grateful. To her mum!

I'm making my assumptions based on what the OP has said in her original and updated posts.

People seem to be making assumptions about her fiancé based on this one misdemeanour without the full facts or what he is like on a daily basis but I suppose that's ok?

bet if he was arranging a boozy weekend with the lads he'd have thunk

Is there something else he would have preferred to do? Pub with his mates? Lie on the sofa?

He's a total fuckwit

Sorry I commited the ultimate sin and didn't agree that the chap was a twat. Maybe it's because I'm so bitter

He sounds like a dimwit.

If you're close enough to get the Eurostar he really should have gone with the Eurostar. You travel from central London to central Paris - comfort, ease, amazing. Trains leaving at all times of the day.

If you're arriving at Charles de Gaulle be aware it is a ballache of an airport to arrive at; huge, badly signposted. It makes me want to lose the will to live. But persevere!!! Annnnnnd most importantly: have euro coins ready to pay for the train to central Paris (it's called the rer b: blue line). No one tells you this and nowhere does change so you could lose precious time faffing around. Just have coins ready so you can use a machine. The train ride into Paris isn't very fun but again don't let it put you off. Because the airport is so bloody huge, brace yourself but it may take 1.5 hours from landing to actually get to central Paris.

Also be aware with the pound in the state it is your money will not go as far as previous years.

At least you don't need a visa to get there yet, eh?

Er - I would also recommend lafourchette.com for restaurant deals. Sometimes you can get a percentage off your bill or little free titbits like a glass of champagne.

I know this post may seem negative but I only trying to highlight that there are some inevitabilities about visiting Paris & how best to be prepared.

Last one: in some cafés if you order your coffee at the bar & drink it standing at the bar it will be cheaper than if you are seated. It's called drinking "au comptoir"

Best of luck! And next time: eurostar

(personally I would change just your flight times/cancel for eurostar tickets instead and have your dozy dp come meet you on the times he's booked. Sounds like you'd get more out of it having a bit of "solo roaming" time)

I've tried to do Paris in a day when I was younger and Paris dominated my travel aspirations. I left exhausted and disappointed (it was August, everything 'quaint' about Paris was shut )

I'd be seriously F'd off! A dream made true should be presented to you with a full heart. It's like me dreaming of tasting McDonald's fries, only to be presented with soggy cold limp dead ones. Even worse is the fact the person who bought it was given the cash to arrange it and rather than wait for fresh ones, they just contended with any old fries and then called me ungrateful for not appreciating this 'dream' that has just come true for me. WTF! Reeks of laziness.

You know what, my DH isn't so romantic but he does try to apply his brain when he wants to make me happy. As it so happens, my (now) DH heard my dream of travelling to Paris again and drove me all the way there, where we stayed in a cheap hotel but we had the most amazing time!

I think if DP spent less cash on a day trip instead of 500 on two unnecessary nights and a Sunday in Paris, the OP wouldn't be here complaining.

£500. Ffs

Yanbu at all op. I would feel exactly the same as you. That really is a waste of your mum's money. You are not getting good value for it at all. I bet she is secretly disappointed as well.

Fair enough if it was a bargain etc, but it wasn't. Just a waste of perfectly good money.

Oh and as a general point: east Paris or the "right bank" tends to be cheaper than the "left bank". One poster mentioned the marais - you can also head further into the 20th arrondissement - pere lachaise cemetery is there for example and it feels far less like "tourist Paris" than a lot of the rip-off places in Montmartre , for example. Although, if you are a fan of the film "amelie" her café does exist : it is called "les deux moulins" and it is on rue lepic, metro stop Blanche

Also, I'm with livefornaps, eurostar would definitely have been a better option for such a short time. If you can't cancel this, just use this trip as a taster for the next, obviously longer, trip you'll arrange for yourself at a later date.

I would be thoroughly pissed too, OP.

I totally see where you're coming from OP

I'm with you OP. Nice that he's done this but he's been an idiot and has wasted a huge sum of your mum's money and spoilt your weekend in Paris dream - all because he didn't think. Hardly worth going for one day - what has he got planned? I bet nothing. Annoyed on your behalf.

Yanbu for thinking he's silly for not getting a better deal for that price. Some people just are no good at booking holidays. I'd be annoyed too if I could of gotten two days for the same price. 500 is a lot for one day.

Still though, better than not going at all

Where do you live? Why is your flight Sat afternoon and your arriving late at night? I'm assuming your in the Uk...isn't it a couple of hours away???

Not surprised you're disappointed, OP.

Given that you can't now change the flights, my advice would be - don't try to do too much on the Sunday. Pick a few things you'd really, really like to see/do, and go with that, rather than trying to pack a million things in to one day.

As a pp said, tell yourself you WILL be back another time for a longer stay.

Hope you have a lovely time.

And what a nice mum you have.

OP you do not sound ungrateful, you sound sensible. Your dp stuffed up and did that with your mum's money. Much better for your mum to have given you the money and let you plan your own trip.

I am sorry that this is such a disappointment, and I do not blame you at all, i would be fuming.

Also flights at the weekend are not cheap. Maybe there wasn't anything on the day he wanted and Sat was the next best option. Tbh you sound very ungrateful. I'm saying that as someone who has just had a bday weekend away arranged by dh. He got it totally wrong but he tried his best, it just wasn't what I had in mind. I got over it and we had a great time.

Just read your other posts....looks like it isn't just about the Paris trip so apologies for calling you ungrateful.

God, that would piss me off. Especially since you have the Monday off & it's a waste of the Saturday too. Also, I would hate to be booked on a surprise holiday. He should have consulted you first.

^ ... please share with us how he got it 'so wrong'? If you're calling OP ungrateful and the near exact thing has apparently happened to you, at least offer her details.

YANBU as others have said, your dH is a twat and a dimwit bet he wouldn't have done it this way if it was a boozy weekend with mates as previously mentioned. I would ditch him and take your mother.

Yes it was a bloody stupid thing to do, your poor mum trusting him with her cash. She'd have been better giving it to you directly, or booking it herself. What a shame.

I'd say it sounds like something my DH would do, he's got ADHD and has struggled to understand how to find a UK holiday tonight, however he booked a semi surprise mini break to propose years ago and got it right, even with a flight change either way. We have plenty of money but I'm still a stickler for getting the best value. We got a four star hotel for two nights in Amsterdam with BA flights from LHR for £460 just before Christmas last year. Left at 5am and got home about 10pm.

Seems mad to me to not get as long as possible at destination. I'd always book the earliest possible flight there and latest back.
I mean yeah lovely thought from your mum and very generous.
But just Seems like a typical bloke lacking in proper thought processes.

Keep your eyes peeled for new flights and trains. If you have the choice of any London airports as you mentioned you could probably get completely new flights for less than 100 each. Then you might be able to change yours to a later date or refund, or just take the loss. Worth trying.
I agree, it is wasteful of your Mum's money not to spend a bit of thought on this, and he was a bit of an idiot. You are not ungrateful to notice this and be disappointed. He should be contrite and looking for other flights.

I can understand your disappointment op.
That is an awful lot of money for the one day on which practically everywhere is closed.
Given that you could have gone by train and stayed in a lovely airbnb for 2 nights at a fraction of the price, I would be upset too but would try to hide it.
The French only do the bare minimum on Sundays.