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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be angry at dp for booking this holiday?

565 replies

Imengagedtoanidiot · 26/06/2017 20:42

  • [Message from MNHQ - just noting, this thread was started in July 2017 and has been resurrected FOR NO GOOD REASON Wink - move along now, please there's nothing new to see here...]

So for ages I've been saying I wan to go to Paris I've never been and it's always been somewhere I want to go but money's right ATM.

Anyway I was talking about how much I want to go in front of my mum a few months and turns out she said to dp to book it for us, she'll have the DCs and pay for the trip for my birthday and keep it as a surprise.

I found out this trip was booked last week by accident and was obviously very excited although felt awful that my mum had given dp the money (£500)

I've just had a look at the details and he's booked it leaving on a Saturday afternoon (arriving late Saturday) and returning very early Monday morning. He booked the Monday off work for me and confirmed mum was having the dcs from Friday night and dropping them to childminder Monday (we collect at 6pm)

AIBU to be fuming that he's taken £500 for essentially 1 day?? I've looked and he could have got Friday evening/early Saturday flights and late Monday flight back for the exact same price so it's not a price issue - he said he just 'didn't think'. He's saying I'm so ungrateful and should be thankful for him (he didn't bloody pay for it)

I'm really upset and don't know if I am being ungrateful and a spoilt brat but I'm just pissed off and feel like my dream break and first holiday without dc is a fucking joke.

I've tried changing the flights and even cancelling but the charge is excessive.

OP posts:
gluteustothemaximus · 29/06/2017 00:21

Maybe if he had have booked the entire Friday to Monday he'd have been called an idiot for something else - wrong type of hotel, not near enough to all the attractions, blowing all the money on the hotel and leaving nothing for nice meals out etc when money's tight or whatever.

Come come now tequila, that's a bit glass half empty isn't it? Wink

I can safely say, that the OP would have been doing cartwheels if her DP had booked Friday-Monday. Even if he Sacrificed a better hotel. Even if he sacrificed some spending money. Because it isn't about the money.

OP and the rest are us are being painted out to be spoilt, money grabbing, self entitled ball breaking partners...but we really aren't.

I asked DH what he would do if he got given £500 for a trip to a place I'd dreamed of. He said 'I'd buy you a card, that inside said...you have a trip to dream destination...help me plan it xxx'

The surprise would have been the idea of actually going. The fun bit would have been planning it together. DH not so good on internet. He knows this.

avamiah · 29/06/2017 00:37

TequilaSunshine,
Omg,I can't believe this thread is still going on.haha
I thought we said it all .?
😬

RoseTico · 29/06/2017 01:24

If you can't change anything, just make sure you have a really well researched itinerary, you might be able to fit in as much in one well organized day as you would in three days of ambling about. And splash out on a luxury lunch/dinner. See it as a taster visit. It's not a once in a lifetime thing, you can always go back. Flowers

(Why is it the hateful cunts nearly always take the first handful of comments on each AIBU thread? Almost without fail every time...)

KERALA1 · 29/06/2017 06:08

Really odd first responses. What a massive cock up smacks of utter carelessness and slapdash organisation. Yes I would also be pissed off as would every other woman I know and we are pretty reasonable people. Nothing to do with being an optimist or pessimist

Does op usually do the bulk of the holiday/ house admin? I bet yes. Yet op supposed to be simperingly grateful he has spent 10 mins pressing buttons (not even his money!) to which he's given zero attention. Very poor.

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 29/06/2017 06:20

I would be furious op. There are cheaper and better ways to do Paris. How weird of him to book one day for all that money!!! Good grief. Sorry op. I think you'll have a good time anyway and he'll learn a lesson. But yes it's a waste of money and child free time and he could've done better yanbu

Emboo19 · 29/06/2017 06:35

I asked DH what he would do if he got given £500 for a trip to a place I'd dreamed of. He said 'I'd buy you a card, that inside said...you have a trip to dream destination...help me plan it xxx'

To be fair to OP's DP, he might have wanted to do just that, but her mum had asked him to book it! And if she'd posted that he'd done that rather than book it and surprise her as her DM wanted. She'd have had calls of what adult can't book a weekend away and do you do everything for him.

OP said in one post he phoned the first company and just booked it. She never said if he booked it as a package or not, but I'm presuming he did.
If he phoned a known travel agents, said I've got £500 to go to Paris between these dates and that's what they've come back with, then I do feel a bit sorry for him. I know plenty of people who book their holidays like that and trust the travel agents to give them a decent deal.

Also OP checked prices a week later and flights change all the time, so he could have booked the cheapest at the time! And I've asked, but OP didn't answer. What about spending money? She said money's tight so where's the spending money come from and could they afford spending money for 3 days and nights! I don't remember Paris being that cheap.

I guess all you can do OP, is make the most of it. Book as much as you can before going if possible, you can book Eiffel Tower tickets that bypass the queues. Stay up late Saturday night, a walk round Paris at night is lovely anyway, get up early Sunday and plan your day to include as much as possible.
I really hope you still enjoy it OP x

coconuttella · 29/06/2017 06:55

This is why "surprises" are so often a bad idea... I'm not sure why they generally seen as being so amazing! How much better this would all have been if the DH had consulted, and the OP would have had the experience he was hoping to give her!

Also, I feel sad at how many posters have such low expectations of their DPs that they would be so grateful for this cock up.

coconuttella · 29/06/2017 06:57

I've got £500 to go to Paris between these dates and that's what they've come back with, then I do feel a bit sorry for him. I know plenty of people who book their holidays like that and trust the travel agents to give them a decent deal.

Well that's just laziness on their part...

KERALA1 · 29/06/2017 07:01

Bet he would have been more careful if using his own money to book somewhere he wanted to go Hmm

ittakes2 · 29/06/2017 07:04

Is there a chance he is planning on proposing to you?

Emboo19 · 29/06/2017 07:27

This is why "surprises" are so often a bad idea... I'm not sure why they generally seen as being so amazing! How much better this would all have been if the DH had consulted, and the OP would have had the experience he was hoping to give her!

Really it would have been for her mum to do that though, wouldn't it?

Naicehamshop · 29/06/2017 07:35

Her mum obviously thought she could trust the dp to function like a competent adult.

Emboo19 · 29/06/2017 08:27

Maybe Naicehamshop but presumably the OP's DM is a competent adult so if she wanted to gift a weekend away she could have booked it!

It's maybe just my family/bf work very differently, but I find the whole thing odd!
I'm presuming the DM looked into how much trips to Paris cost, otherwise where did £500 come from? But then she's not accounted for spending money and OP says money's really tight. Did DM ask the partner if it was a good idea, if he could afford the spending money, getting to airport....
Then OP says she'll pay back DM! Can DM not really afford it? Is OP annoyed that her partner took money from her mum at all.

BitOutOfPractice · 29/06/2017 08:30

Enboo my elderly mom is definitely a competent adult in many respects. But she would not feel confident booking a holiday. Not in a million years.

WomblingThree · 29/06/2017 09:02

@ittakes2 given he's already her fiancé, why would he??

ShotsFired · 29/06/2017 09:58

I am imagining OP's fiance at work:

"Bob, have you got the details of the sales meeting in Barcelona please?"
"Yes, I booked us all to fly in on Monday night and leave again very early Wednesday morning, took me 5 mins, tops"
"Why the fuck have you organised a 1.5 day trip? It is a 3 day meeting!. That all needs rebooking properly...what do you mean the flights aren't changeable?!"

Or - in more likely real life...

"Bob, have you got the details of the sales meeting in Barcelona please?"
"Yes, I researched best hotels and flights combos. We all fly in on Sunday night and leave again late Wednesday evening so we maximise the time available"
"Great planning, thanks"

PratStick · 29/06/2017 10:42

I'd be pissed at him. He didn't actually do anything and booked something without mentioning it and fucked it up.

Don't let your mum know though! Lovely thought from her

SittingAround1 · 29/06/2017 13:06

YANBU For those having a go at the OP for being ungrateful, it's not about her not being pleased she's going but the wasted opportunity of not going for longer for the SAME price.

I'd suggest you look at eurostar tickets for the Saturday morning-might be some cheap ones & abandon the out flight.

Beware if you're flying into Beauvais it's the equivalent of Luton in distance.

I wouldn't rush around trying to see everything but pick one morning site and one afternoon site to visit.
Do NOT eat lunch on the Champs Elysees-in fact I'd avoid the champs Elysees altogether.
Try find a restaurant off the beaten track a bit.

An evening boat ride along the seine would be good for Saturday night.

You can still have a very enjoyable time despite a short trip.

endofthelinefinally · 29/06/2017 13:22

And
Be very wary of extremely aggressive begging and pickpocketing.
Never put your phone on the table in a cafe.
Always keep your bag on your lap or if you put it on the floor put it under the table and put one foot through the strap.
The pick pockets in Paris are amazingly accomplished.

Naicehamshop · 29/06/2017 16:43

Emboo19 - the op's mother may be a very competent adult but not happy booking stuff online. My mother wouldn't be, either.

Emboo19 · 29/06/2017 16:52

Maybe that's the case for the OP's DH though Naicehamshop OP did say he'd phoned a company to book it.
My dads not a fan of anything online but he's only 40! My grandad however is always on his iPad.

Naicehamshop · 29/06/2017 17:33

God - the people making excuses for useless men on here ...! Shock

TequilaSunshine · 29/06/2017 17:58

TequilaSunshine,
Omg,I can't believe this thread is still going on.haha
I thought we said it all .?

Well, the occasional grabby div comes along, pokes me and riles me up again and I can't help myself lol Grin

TequilaSunshine · 29/06/2017 18:04

God - the people making excuses for useless men on here ...!

It's nothing to do with MEN!!!
Rargh.
FFS. It's to do with people getting a present, waaahing and blahhing it's not good enough, throwing a strop and crying as they wanted more and asking the thread for opinions - then throwing their toys out of the pram when some opinions didn't tally with theirs and refused to join in with what they really wanted - not opinions, just a cheerleading chorus of "useless menz".
I don't care if next door neighbour's sodding cat booked the holiday, --you'd still be an ungrateful twat if you humphed at it not being good enough.
Grin

TequilaSunshine · 29/06/2017 18:06

then throwing their toys out of the pram when some opinions didn't tally with theirs and refused to join in with what they really wanted - not opinions, just a cheerleading chorus of "useless menz"

This is what boils down to my thread rage, lol - OP coming back mid thread to huff and puff and say "no I'm not U" so why fkn ask then if you don't really want to know.
I wouldn't be half as invested in this soddin thread if they hadn't come back to prove my exact point in the first place - never knows when they're not in the right and sticks fingers in ears la la la I'm not listening style .... Grin