To be angry at dp for booking this holiday?

[Imengagedtoanidiot]

• [Message from MNHQ - just noting, this thread was started in July 2017 and has been resurrected FOR NO GOOD REASON - move along now, please there's nothing new to see here...]

So for ages I've been saying I wan to go to Paris I've never been and it's always been somewhere I want to go but money's right ATM.

Anyway I was talking about how much I want to go in front of my mum a few months and turns out she said to dp to book it for us, she'll have the DCs and pay for the trip for my birthday and keep it as a surprise.

I found out this trip was booked last week by accident and was obviously very excited although felt awful that my mum had given dp the money (£500)

I've just had a look at the details and he's booked it leaving on a Saturday afternoon (arriving late Saturday) and returning very early Monday morning. He booked the Monday off work for me and confirmed mum was having the dcs from Friday night and dropping them to childminder Monday (we collect at 6pm)

AIBU to be fuming that he's taken £500 for essentially 1 day?? I've looked and he could have got Friday evening/early Saturday flights and late Monday flight back for the exact same price so it's not a price issue - he said he just 'didn't think'. He's saying I'm so ungrateful and should be thankful for him (he didn't bloody pay for it)

I'm really upset and don't know if I am being ungrateful and a spoilt brat but I'm just pissed off and feel like my dream break and first holiday without dc is a fucking joke.

I've tried changing the flights and even cancelling but the charge is excessive.

if you had paid and came up with the idea yourself but made mistakes with booking, then no, I would not call you a fool.

If you had been given the money, been told how to spend it and then didn't bother putting any thought or research in then yes I would say you are a fool and have spend the money unwisely.

Okkaayyy... not a fecking clue what Mirrivan is on about now. Are people not allowed to have differing opinions? Why not engage instead of silly cartoon mocking? There are different opinions out there. If not willing to hear them, why ask for them in the first place?

tequila if you are shit at something, you ask for help. You can ask a friend, a colleague, a family member, online. Lots of people are willing to help.

All he had to do was write a post on whatever website saying 'I found this deal for a trip to Paris, can anyone do better?' Some people LOVE researching that kind of thing.

Hit the nail on the head there Wonderlime

big ava I'm inclined here to agree with both of you.
Paris IS about more than the louvre and the Eiffel touwer. But for a first trip anywhere touristy you see the big ticket things?

the first time I went we went to the louvre (to see Mona Lisa) the Eiffel Tower and saw the arc du triomphe. Since then I found out you can go up the arc, we just saw it from across the road the first time, we've been to the catacombs, we've walked miles around the city getting lost but finding amazing lovely places.

Same in Rome. My first trip we visited the big things (Vatican coliseum etc). Second trip we don't need to go there because we'll, we've done it. So we can take our time and really explore.

The first time we went to Paris we absolutely hammered it seeing all the big ticket stuff and it still took us three days and that was without actually going into any of the galleries which we decided to save for another trip.
It's not just a quick glance at the Eiffel Tower and a sprint down the Champs Elysees.... your want to also do things like browse the street markets, explore the little side streets of Montmartre, eat ice cream on Île Saint-Louis, have a nosey round Galeries Lafayette, people watch outside Centre Pompidou etc. These are all still super touristy but they are the things that make Paris lovely (Champs Elysees certainly isnt) and it takes more than one day and it's an absolute shame to miss some of them when you didn't need to.

Oh centre Pompidou! And muse d'orsee and macarons by the seine and the markets. And the parks. Oh. I 💙 Paris.

I've been pricing up the Eurostar

So why didn't the mother book it herself then seeing as it was the mother providing the childcare and the OP providing the specifications of the weekend? Instead of handing the cash over to the partner and expecting them to mind read.

How hard is it to work that out? I can just see a situation where the OP's mother's thinking was that she shouldn't go ahead and book because she doesn't know what would be the best weekend and what OP and her husband would prefer by way of travel time, hotel location and type, etc. My mother wouldn't know, for instance, that I always book a hotel with wifi given the choice.

As for expecting the partner to mind read - she offered babysitting for a long weekend. How difficult can it be to work out both that she intends them to go away for a long weekend, and that OP would want to maximise the time away?

I see it as Saturday evening /dinner in Paris and all day Sunday in Paris. You could have a lovely dinner and walk and see the sights on the Saturday evening as everybody eats late there then have a lovely brunch on the Sunday followed by a cruise or a visit to the Louvre then maybe see one of the famous shows and dinner in the evening then a walk back to the hotel.

Or you could have three lovely dinners, two lovely brunches, and see many more sights. There is an awful lot more to see and do in Paris than the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower and the Seine, you know. Why do people find this so hard to understand?

You can always visit again

But isn't that the point? Money is tight, OP has no idea whether she will ever be able to visit again, and certainly she can't in the foreseeable future.

I think that was very generous and kind of your mother and yes, he is a bit useless and I would be annoyed too. You really need to make your mind up to enjoy yourself and not let it spoil your trip. Make the most of it and thank your mother for the lovely trip when you get back. Forget sulking or anger, your attitude will make or break the trip.

OP, what time does the flight land in Paris and what time does it depart on Monday morning?

In your OP you said 'arriving late Saturday and departing very early Monday morning'.

I took that to mean landing at 10 pm or later so no good for going out for dinner once you've got into the city centre (someone said it can take 1.5 hours to get from the city to CDG, and I don't know about Paris Orly - is that the one that's miles away and only really Paris in Ryanair land?).

I would take 'very early Monday morning' to be 6/7 am, which may mean setting off to the aiport by 3/4 am at the earliest - sorry but that would be awful.

One thing I refuse to do unless unavoidable is to arrive at a destination late in the evening, especially if travelling alone. I also wouldn't want to have to get up very very early on the last day to travel home at stupid o clock in the morning.

There is an awful lot more to see and do in Paris than the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower and the Seine, you know. Why do people find this so hard to understand?

Well, of course there is - they were just examples of things to do, surely in response to all those saying it's not long enough, there's nothing to do on a Sunday, he's rubbish for booking etc. Showing that yes actually, there is stuff open and to do.
Why is that so hard to understand?
I agree with whoever just said it must come down to an attitude thing.
It's how you (general you) are determined to look at things - some automatically go to the black and miserable side and determined not to make the most of what they get.

Sorry but OP has already said she is resolving to make the most of it!

So why didn't the mother book it herself then seeing as it was the mother providing the childcare and the OP providing the specifications of the weekend?

Maybe she she's not sure about using the internet to book things. My mother wouldn't want to do that either. She might have given the money to OP though instead if she had realised that he would cock it up as OP would probably prefer three days in Paris to a "surprise".

Instead of handing the cash over to the partner and expecting them to mind read.

You don't need to be a mind-reader to realise that someone who has always wanted to visit Paris would prefer three days to one. The fact that his MIL offered childcare for 2/3 days should have provided a further clue. He just needed give it some thought and use his common sense.

But isn't that the point? Money is tight, OP has no idea whether she will ever be able to visit again, and certainly she can't in the foreseeable future.

Exactly - always somewhere she's wanted to go, money is tight, so doesn't sound like it's somewhere she could easily go again on a second trip for not getting to do everything she wanted in the first trip.
Doesn't sound like a regular occurrence thing to keep doing again for the bits you missed last time.
Yes,he could have made it longer, but he didn't. For your reaction to be to call him an idiot, a fool, etc when a trip to Paris has been booked, childcare sorted for the entire weekend and a day off work booked as well, just smacks of being so ungrateful.
Obviously not everyone thinks that way, and it's a perfectly reasonable way to behave with a present so we'll just have to agree to disagree.

I wonder what the OP s kind and thoughtful mother makes of it?

And don't say she should have booked it herself. There are plenty of reasons why the DH should have been a better ( not in retrospect) person to book it.

Sorry but OP has already said she is resolving to make the most of it!

Well, that's fair enough then.
Was just replying to some of the other posts, not necessarily all from the OP.

OP is very grateful to her mother.

But disappointed with her DP for somewhat wasting the generous present.

There was a really good analogy earlier about how the DP was given " £30 and bought a £2 box of chocolates with it".

Yes,he could have made it longer, but he didn't. For your reaction to be to call him an idiot, a fool, etc when a trip to Paris has been booked, childcare sorted for the entire weekend and a day off work booked as well, just smacks of being so ungrateful.

OP is grateful to the person who has paid for it and provided the childcare though i.e. her mother. She just isn't grateful to the person who (probably) quickly booked something on the internet without any thought or attention i.e. her DP. Why should she be grateful when he didn't provide payment or thought. She would probably have preferred to book herself.

£500 doesn't go far on a weekend trip to Paris. Could be the flight times were the only ones to keep in budget. Book a restaurant for Saturday night and get a horse drawn carriage along the Seine. You can easily knock out the main Paris sights in a day. The Eiffel Tower is open until 9 or 10 at night on Easter Sunday - I know because I went up it! Get a big bus tour with a bateau ticket. Book sights before you go.

It's already been established that he could have booked better flight times for the same price. He just didn't bother.

Is it possible that the shortened weekend is deliberate? Maybe he planned it round his own social calendar e.g. Didn't want to miss Friday night out at the pub.