Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be angry at dp for booking this holiday?

565 replies

Imengagedtoanidiot · 26/06/2017 20:42

  • [Message from MNHQ - just noting, this thread was started in July 2017 and has been resurrected FOR NO GOOD REASON Wink - move along now, please there's nothing new to see here...]

So for ages I've been saying I wan to go to Paris I've never been and it's always been somewhere I want to go but money's right ATM.

Anyway I was talking about how much I want to go in front of my mum a few months and turns out she said to dp to book it for us, she'll have the DCs and pay for the trip for my birthday and keep it as a surprise.

I found out this trip was booked last week by accident and was obviously very excited although felt awful that my mum had given dp the money (£500)

I've just had a look at the details and he's booked it leaving on a Saturday afternoon (arriving late Saturday) and returning very early Monday morning. He booked the Monday off work for me and confirmed mum was having the dcs from Friday night and dropping them to childminder Monday (we collect at 6pm)

AIBU to be fuming that he's taken £500 for essentially 1 day?? I've looked and he could have got Friday evening/early Saturday flights and late Monday flight back for the exact same price so it's not a price issue - he said he just 'didn't think'. He's saying I'm so ungrateful and should be thankful for him (he didn't bloody pay for it)

I'm really upset and don't know if I am being ungrateful and a spoilt brat but I'm just pissed off and feel like my dream break and first holiday without dc is a fucking joke.

I've tried changing the flights and even cancelling but the charge is excessive.

OP posts:
Notonaschoolnight · 27/06/2017 09:23

Haven't read the first 13 pages but totally get OP I'm massively careful with money I do my research to get best possible value I've spit feathers with oh to things similar to this many times , bugger "it's the thought that counts" that's the problem so little thought was done

R2G · 27/06/2017 09:32

On the plus side. I expect you will now ruin that one day by keep moaning of all the things you can't fit in and reminding him for evermore of his cock up. Good t have one over the idiot.

RadioGaGoo · 27/06/2017 09:33

TheFatofTheLand. Absolutely spot on. Just because the partner made an attempt to do something, doesn't mean he should be celebrated! Some Mumsnetters obviously have really low expectations of their partners. It's a poor attempt and the OP has every right to be disappointed.

TheFifthKey · 27/06/2017 09:35

It just shows that women are conditioned to expect very little - we're supposed to be grateful for anything, a minute's thought, any money spent. We don't just deserve the bare minimum in life! It's ok to want and ask for more. So depressing to read this.

MyheartbelongstoG · 27/06/2017 09:38

You sound like a brat.

BarryTheKestrel · 27/06/2017 09:46

I haven't read every post but I can see where you are coming from OP. I always look at every possible outcome to get the most time somewhere for the least cost because I don't see the point going anywhere if you aren't there long enough to actually enjoy it!
Maybe see if you can change the booking? It may cost a little extra to make the changes but if you have a little spare money (easier said than done with DCs I know) it may be worth seeing if you can make some changes to potentially get an extra day. Or if you can cancel it and rebook for longer for the same price, do that.

If you can't, suck it up and enjoy your day in Paris. A day is better than none.

araiwa · 27/06/2017 09:48

£500 isnt a lot for paris for 2 people

op stated that money is tight so maybe its just not possible for them to add to the £500.

flying in a couple of weeks gatwick to paris with easyjet is £300. obviously 2 nights hotel is cheaper than 3. and paris isnt known for cheap food and free activities.

maybe he has done quite well to give you a full day and 2 nights in paris for £500 all in?

BigYellowJumper · 27/06/2017 09:57

fifth

So true. My mother was grateful for any crumb of affection/help/money she got. I thought things had changed for the next generation but this thread proves it hasn't.

Chloe84 · 27/06/2017 10:00

araiwa someone up thread already costed a 3 night stay in a 4* hotel including flights for £543. Choose a slightly cheaper hotel and you can bring it down to £500.

Motherbear26 · 27/06/2017 10:12

Wow, low expectations on here by some PP's. Are we expected to be grateful little women for every slight effort our poor hard working men make, however piss poor it is? I'm with you OP. He's been given the cash and free babysitting, all he had to do was put some effort into researching the best deal. I don't see why he should expect credit or gratitude for doing the absolute bare minimum. Your mum, who you have said you have thanked profusely already does deserve the gratitude as she has tried to do something lovely for you. Unfortunately DH has cocked up. I can't help but wonder if he would have taken more care if it were his own money he was spending, or his own dream trip he was planning. You'll just have to get on with it now but I would be furious too.

Dowser · 27/06/2017 10:15

I too would want a lot more bang for my mothers £500 buck than what you're getting op.

It's probably the reason why I do all the holiday arrangements/ utilities contracts etc.
Hopefully he's chosen somewhere that really spoils you.

araiwa · 27/06/2017 10:16

araiwa someone up thread already costed a 3 night stay in a 4 hotel including flights for £543. Choose a slightly cheaper hotel and you can bring it down to £500.*

so £50 over already to sit in your room for 2 days eating the complimentary biscuits and tea as you have no money to go out or buy food. i seem to recall paying 10 euro for a cafe au lait in paris

clumsyduck · 27/06/2017 10:20

Haven't rtft but am totally with you op

Just because a bloke does something really we shouldn't have to be eternally grateful . Sounds like he put no thought in ( wonder if he would had it been his money !)

Your essentially going to Paris for 1 day .

Joey7t8 · 27/06/2017 10:27

so £50 over already to sit in your room for 2 days eating the complimentary biscuits and tea as you have no money to go out or buy food. i seem to recall paying 10 euro for a cafe au lait in paris

The money he's spent only includes flights and B&B; it doesn't include any other spends while they'll be there (for 30-36 hours).

Chloe84 · 27/06/2017 11:12

so £50 over already to sit in your room for 2 days eating the complimentary biscuits and tea as you have no money to go out or buy food. i seem to recall paying 10 euro for a cafe au lait in paris

araiwa they wouldnt have had to pay the £43 extra, as I said, he could have chosen a slightly cheaper hotel, bringing the price down to £500. Then they could have used the spending they on top.

MargaretCavendish · 27/06/2017 11:26

maybe he has done quite well to give you a full day and 2 nights in paris for £500 all in?

But isn't that why what he's done is so infuriating? He's spent money on two nights in a hotel for just one full day there. They probably could have done a day trip on Eurostar and spent nothing at all on hotels for the time they're going to get out of it. And both the nights are going to be rushed - one because they've just arrived, one because they have to get an early flight the next morning. Both of those could have been avoided easily.

SkintAsASkintThing · 27/06/2017 11:30

Op, I'd spend £100 to change one of the flights, probably the return one as you can leave your bags in the hotel, luggage room and explore for the whole day.

I know it sounds like a lot of money but the chance to.do.this may not come up again so you may as well do it properly.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 27/06/2017 11:30

Not everyone lives close enough to Eurostar for that to be a quick, easy and convenient or cheaper option, though.

Underparmummy · 27/06/2017 11:30

YANBU - the one bit he had to do (organise the trip) and he's put in crap flight times that see you lose saturday and have to get up early on Monday your day off!

Underparmummy · 27/06/2017 11:31

motherbear26 - YY - I totally agree!

MargaretCavendish · 27/06/2017 11:33

Of course not - but OP's made it clear that they do live pretty close (she said they could have flown from any of the London airports, or taken the Eurostar, which suggests they live in or very near London)

MargaretCavendish · 27/06/2017 11:35

Also, taking the Eurostar is so much nicer than flying, and has fewer hidden costs, so I think it's worth paying more on the upfront ticket price to go that way.

Elephant17 · 27/06/2017 11:37

I don't think I would travel to any city for one day for leisure reasons! I hate rushing and even in a long weekend it's hard to squeeze in all the things you want to do.

You've been wanting to go there all your life, you probably have a rather long list of things you want to do there, so one day of rushed sightseeing probably seems like a bit of an anticlimax. I totally get you, and if I was your mum I'd be a bit Hmm/Confused as to why your partner didn't think to stretch it to at least 2 days. If I were him and I couldn't find anything for longer within budget, I'd just wait a while and save a little to add to it and try again.

44PumpLane · 27/06/2017 11:49

Cba to rtft but read the first page- OP YANBU at all!!!
Going somewhere like Paris for one day when (for the same travel price) you could have gone for the best part of three days (go early Sat come back late Mon) is just lazy and inconsiderate planning, and to be honest it's careless with someone else's money I think too.

For those saying that costs would be increased while there- there are ways and means of keeping costs down. When we go places we take granola bars with us for snacks for example, you could easily save on food costs that way. Take drinks out with you (not everyone needs to spend money on fancy coffee to have s nice time).

Visitor attractions would of course cost money, but walking round the Eiffel Tower, down the Champs Elise etc can be free and perhaps save some money up to visit paid for attractions if possible.

But now there won't be a chance to have a lovely weekend away, it'll just be an expensive day out with airport faff at either side of it!!

Unihorn · 27/06/2017 11:54

A quick (literally 4 minute) search on Skyscanner and Trivago just found return London to Paris flights in July for two for leaving at 6am on a Saturday and returning at 4am on a Monday with easyJet for £192, and a 5* hotel with breakfast for 2 nights for £296. In 10 minutes I could probably knock £100 off.

YADNBU