To be infuriated by this (school related!)

[ChippaChoc]

I am just about to send an email out to my DCs class to invite them to an event (the parents) via 'classlist'. This is an event for all parents (and DCs). Classlist is the way that parents and the PTA are supposed to communicate about any events, parties, social stuff outside of the normal school day but is also used most days to remind parents about things happening In the classroom too (e.g. Forest school days, sports day) which kids need kit etc for.

There's 30 parents on the list, not one is a father / male. I can't believe that still in 2017 when most of the parents at my DCs school work, plenty of them full time, it's only Mums that are on the school comms list. It has massively annoyed me. I know it won't change anything, but it just feels we are so far away from an equal load in terms of parental responsibility I can't see it will ever change. The class list sign up went out to all parents earlier this year (there's approximately 54 emails on that list, mums and dads) and low and behold only the Mums have signed up to receive communications regarding event / parties / anything outside of the formal school comms. I wasn't involved in that sign up admin process.

Off to hassle my DH about why he isn't on it now (I thought he was!)

Totally know where you're coming from OP x

Every day in my household feels like a battle. My misogynistic husband moans like crazy on the 1 day each week he drops the kids to school. He also try's to get me to cover his day (I do t mind if he has meeting or urgent work to attend to but he wants to stay in bed an extra couple of hours). This morning was his 1 day and I had to tell him yet again that no I was not dropping the kids off. Even on this 1 day I still get the lunches, bags. Fruit snacks, water bottles, signed reading records, uniforms, p.e. Kits etc.ready. On the Tate occasion I am away on business overnight he usually rings me to ask where something is or moan the kids are not co-operating. I have had to learn to be thick skinned and stick to making him contribute at least a little. He does around 2-3 of the pick ups each week and moans about the impact it has on his life. I also let the kitchen bin overflow now as it is one of his very few tasks so I refuse to empty it. Yesterday he complained as the bag was so full it was difficult to get out and then it split as he got out the front door. I choose to ignore him and not bother reminding him if he emptied it more frequently it would be easier. He is more than capable of carrying out these tasks, he works from home most of the time and rarely works more than 25 hours per week (paid a full time wage). I work full time and have a fairly demanding job. I keep the diaries up to date and do all the odganising. I am usually exhausted and have so much resentment towards him. This is my 2nd marriage and my 1st was totally different. We really did share all tasks 50-50 Just a pity my 1st husband was a serial cheater!

At the individual level, each couple can do things how they like. At the mass level, it's telling that every family has divided things up the same way.

YANBU to feel irritated about this, OP.

LOL at the poster saying that her husband had a panic attack because someone from the school contacted him. Give me strength!!

Some of you are missing the point. Of course families do what works best but out of 30 families you are seriously telling me it is easier for mums to get the texts. Not one dad has a desk job where mum is in teaching or dad works part time etc.
I am on mat leave and still in 2017 the playground is 90% female at pick up time. The PTA leaders 100% female. Primary staff = 1 male teacher.
You can all make excuses but childcare is still viewed as a woman's job. When I returned to work after dc1, I applied for a promotion and the boss said, "well, only if you think you can cope". My husband (same field) gained extra responsibility and no one said anything.

I think that's pretty standard!

Our school asked us for a primary and secondary contact person. I'm the primary one so I get all the texts and emails, despite my husband actually spending more time at the school. Could just be that.

Agree with you entirely OP. It's no judgement on individuals' circumstance, it's about the reflection on society. For what it's worth my DP is much better at this stuff than me, I hate it, but because of our circumstances when we had our DS he had to take a job with long hours and a long commute whilst I could get reduced hours locally in the career I loved. I have more time so it makes more sense for me to do more of the admin at home. Hopefully this will change though.

I find it shocking in this day and age than men have less rights when it comes to looking after their children. I'm talking about maternity vs paternity vs new parent leave. All parents should have the same rights and it's shocking men don't kick up a hell of a fuss about this - but I think that's down to society's expectation. Yeah, they don't all have to take the role of primary carer, but they should have the RIGHT to do it, if it suits their individual circumstances. It starts a precedence. And I believe it'll be a lot easier for women to get equal pay if society treats parents equally.