To want a film I don't feel comfortable with, turned off?

[Knightly]

DH and I were just casually sitting, flicking through channels. He stopped on one film, no idea what it's called, but it had already started in full swing.

I didn't have a clue to the story line and neither did DH so not able to fill me in. He said he knew roughly he thought and her identity was different and she was in hospital.

Next thing I know a woman has woken up in a hospital gown screaming and looking at her hands.

Then some nurse brings in this bloke who has paid to have sex (rape), with her. Nurse was under impression she was still knocked out. Nurse leaves and when rapist gets to it, she bites his tongue off.

I said "DH, I don't feel comfortable with this. Can you turn it off?"

"No, ffs"

I said "Well I am leaving the room then because I feel uncomfortable".

"Fuck sake. Fine! I'll turn it off"

I said "Don't worry, I'm going anyway due to the way you're speaking to me".

He said "Well no, it's just always about what you want".

Was I being unreasonable here? It didn't help that I didn't know the story line, so essentially film was just graphic scenes with no plot to me.

Also, anyone know what film it is? Is on now.

It is insinuated she has been repeatedly raped for 6 years while comatose by various men and what is disturbing about the scene is how common it had become due to repetition for the rapist!

THAT is what makes that rape scene so utterly horrific that I still remember it (and I hated the movie). That is why Tarrantino is a brilliant director - because he was able to convey the horror of being raped for 6 years while you're helpless in a fuckinf hospital without needing to show the actual act.

As for it not really being a rape scene, maybe not but it does suggest rape, doesn't it?

Also - I swear the nurse hands the pending rapist some Vaseline in case she's 'dry down there', because her pipe has dried up or something

In this scene she is not raped and it is not suggested either. She kills them both before it happens.

She has been raped before whilst in a coma but this is not seen either

It really doesn't matter about this particular film. You were already in your bedroom at night winding down before bed, and your DH will object and make a fuss if you either make a comment about the film or if you leave the room. Which puts you in a difficult position because the only other option is to say nothing and put up with seeing something that you find disturbing. It's not what I'd expect from my partner, it's not kind and it's not considerate.

In this scene she is not raped and it is not suggested either. She kills them both before it happens.

Sorry, but yes it is suggested.

He goes to do the deed and is prevented from doing so because his tongue gets bitten off.

Rape is suggested and is definitely a small theme

Knightly stop justifying yourself. It's absolutely fine not to want to see something traumatic and that doesn't make sense to you before you go to sleep.

I can't get over half the comments on here. I love a violent movie as much as the next person and Kill Bill (both vols) is a stunning movie, but you really have to be in the mood. We say all the time in our house 'hmmm, I'm not in a Kill Bill/Reservoir Dogs/Alien2 or whatever' type of movie and find something else. Often if we are looking to wind down, we might watch a comedy or easier box set series instead (Netflix) rather than traumatise ourselves- and we both check out what the other is wanting and respect that- the most tired/stressed/not in the mood person wins!

Also, if you are not prepared for a film or don't see the start, it can weird you out. That scene is replete with awfulness because she has only just woken up, and she's been there, at their mercy and with their Vaseline for 6 years. It's gruesome, even when you know it's coming.

I once got weirded out by watching a strange show where a blacked up person came into someone's house and took it over, keeping saying 'you're my wife now'. It totally freaked me out as I couldn't work out why anyone was using blacked up faces, my sense of the sinister was working overtime. I found out later it was from the League of Gentlemen, so a comedy. I just didn't find it funny at that time point.

OP put it out of your mind, it sounds like you are dwelling on it, just explain to your husband what happened- I felt vulnerable and it freaked me out. No other explanation is needed and no-one HAS to watch a certain film if they don't want to, my husband would go downstairs if he had a sudden urge for violence and I wanted Larkrise to Candleford or whatever.

'hmmm, I'm not in a Kill Bill/Reservoir Dogs/Alien2 or whatever' type of mood (not movie).

Wish there was an edit function on MN!

He goes to rape her but before he starts she kills him.

Ive literally just rewatched it on youtube

Foureyes I love Reservoir Dogs

"There are no rape scenes"

Just because you don't see the act of penetration does not make it any less disturbing.

You don't see it so it doesn't count ? That's a slippery slope.

Foureyes, I had that exact same experience with The League of Gentleman. The memory still freaks me out to this day!

So is The Shawshank Redemption a movie about rape too?

Oh and for the record

1. Love kill bill and Tarantino
2. Still think the OP acted very reasonably in the situation

A slippery slope to where?

There is no rape scene- literal penetration or even off screen. The guy is killed before he even starts.

A pillow or cushion would have been employed if I were in that situation. DP has been known to hand me one in readiness ( that's love that is).

If you don't want to watch something then leave the room or use iPad and headphones to watch something else.

If you don't want to see a film, leave the room. YABU to prevent your DH from watching a movie because you feel uncomfortable.

It's not a rape scene, btw. There I see no rape in it whatsoever.

There is no rape in it whatsoever.

So no expectations that a couple might be able to negotiate a compromise? Just fuck off and watch your own film? It's not what I'd want from a relationship. And it doesn't justify the DH getting so annoyed and sweary just because the OP expressed her views. It just seems so unnecessarily unpleasant towards her over such a minor thing.

This guy gets stopped before he rapes her

It's quite clear to me what had been commonplace before that he felt safe and entitled to have a go himself

If folk don't find that disturbing, count yourself lucky

I can understand that there are people who find even the suggestion of past rape disturbing. Some people are sensitive about car crash scenes or fire scenes because of past trauma.

They should not be made to watch such films.

But no, that doesn't mean they have the right to prevent spouses from watching those films.

But no, that doesn't mean they have the right to prevent spouses from watching those films.

Even when we're in bed settling down, and the last thing I want to do is break my settling down time and go sit on a sofa?

I'm shocked by people saying it's not a rape scene. It's an attempted rape where you discover horrifying details about multiple rapes over years of a comatose woman.

It should be upsetting/disturbing/shocking as it's so so nasty and horrid a thing.

OP & her DH weren't in bed.

If my husband already started watching a movie I didn't fancy in the main room, I'd get up and leave him to it, this happens often.

If I was in bed and said 'switch it off love, it's gross and I'm not in the mood' he'd get up and move downstairs.

'Rights' doesn't come into it, our marriage isn't based on us asserting our rights, but us being considerate and taking others moods/needs into account. No-one needs to watch Kill Bill in bed at the expense of their partner.