To want a film I don't feel comfortable with, turned off?

[Knightly]

DH and I were just casually sitting, flicking through channels. He stopped on one film, no idea what it's called, but it had already started in full swing.

I didn't have a clue to the story line and neither did DH so not able to fill me in. He said he knew roughly he thought and her identity was different and she was in hospital.

Next thing I know a woman has woken up in a hospital gown screaming and looking at her hands.

Then some nurse brings in this bloke who has paid to have sex (rape), with her. Nurse was under impression she was still knocked out. Nurse leaves and when rapist gets to it, she bites his tongue off.

I said "DH, I don't feel comfortable with this. Can you turn it off?"

"No, ffs"

I said "Well I am leaving the room then because I feel uncomfortable".

"Fuck sake. Fine! I'll turn it off"

I said "Don't worry, I'm going anyway due to the way you're speaking to me".

He said "Well no, it's just always about what you want".

Was I being unreasonable here? It didn't help that I didn't know the story line, so essentially film was just graphic scenes with no plot to me.

Also, anyone know what film it is? Is on now.

The fact you can see any film featuring rape and not see the rape as one of its main events is staggering tbh.

I think it's staggering you're unable to fathom that just because a film features something, doesn't mean the film is about that.

TheFat No, it's not true. Sometimes I get what I want. Sometimes he gets what he wants.

I see no big issues with either of us getting what we want over another.

Will have to chat about this

Uma is not getting her revenge for rape though. That is a one off scene.

That's my reason for saying it's not about rape.

(Don't want to give any spoilers but you had missed the first bit which is what it's really about.)

Kill Bill is, in no way at all, a film 'about rape'

Just an afterthought then is it?
The fact you can see any film featuring rape and not see the rape as one of its main events is staggering tbh

So in other words you have no clue and haven't actually seen the film in person?

If I don't like the film my OH's watching, I put headphones in, or a go to another room. I wouldn't tell him to turn it off though. I'd be pissed if someone told me to turn a film off when I was watching it!

Kill Bill is a brilliant film.
I understand you being uncomfortable and wanting to turn it over, I had the same reaction with the film The Last House on the left, It has a horrific rape scene in it and I had to leave the room it truly disturbed me, because of a past experience and because of how graphic the scene was.

Thing is, I would happily watch this Kill Bill. But, only from the beginning so I know what's going on.

Random scenes of violence don't sit well with my psychological responses

Btw you were basically at the beginning of the film, not halfway through.

Uma is not getting her revenge for rape though. That is a one off scene

Exactly - it's unconnected to her revenge on Bill and the other assassins, which is what the film is about.

Eggandchipsfortea93 "There was no suggestion at all that she was 'forced' to watch it - you made that up."

I did not make anything up!

I said "Being forced to watch things that make you feel uncomfortable is very abnormal and actually forcing someone else to do something hey are not comfortable with is really unpleasant." which is true! The OP's DH didn't force her to watch it but...

If you make a fuss and swear at your partner because they don't want to watch something or complain if they leave the room, you are effectively trying to force them to watch it because your partner doesn't want to make a scene, or make a 'fuss' as a previous poster puts it.

They are not being held preset in the room, instead they are being made to feel unreasonable for wanting the channel changed or to leave the room.

How many times do women do things because they are made to feel uncomfortable for not wanting to do them!

It is kill Bill, the film isn't about rape, it is actually a good film. she was in hospital because she was shot in the head and in a coma for I think 6 years, she wasn't really meant to wake up, and she was distressed because when she was shot she was pregnant and now she isn't. She really isn't worried about the guy as she is a trained assassin.

Italiangreyhound sounds like you haven't seen part 2 then...

Random scenes of violence don't sit well with my psychological responses

You're perfectly within your rights to choose what you watch and don't watch. I love violent films but appreciate that DW doesn't always (she makes an exception for anything with Michael Fassbender, weirdly). I think your DH was thoughtless, myself.

I mean thoughtless for his reaction to being asked to put it off, to clarify.

It isn't a rape scene. Nobody gets raped. It's insinuated and then he gets killed.

YABU. If you don't like it just leave.

But Kill Bill is a bloody brillant set of films.

Josh He would've made the same response of frustration if I'd have got up and left without asking him to turn it off.

I guess I'm a film spoiler

Sounds like he was being insensitive but just because you didn't know the film, perhaps he does and likes Tarantino and so wanted to watch it?

The last bit where he got angry and said 'it's always about what you want? Could that perhaps be what this is really about? Could it in any way be true...even just the teensiest? That would explain his insistence on watching a film that neither of you were particularly watching?

Are you both currently tetchy or stressed with each other about something else and the movie has been the vehicle that aired something that was already simmering?

The fact that he wanted to watch a movie you didn't want to doesn't seem like something to run to MN over, unless it's one of many things winding you up?

We don't know if he was just being an idiot because we don't know either of you but you do!!

Italiangreyhound sounds like you haven't seen part 2 then

Well to be fair it's rare to see ruddy part 2 on telly. They only ever seem to show vol 1

Must dig out the discs

You either love or hate Tarantino films - I personally love it but it's not for everyone - some are graphic and crazy, but I find them cool. Yanbu for walkinfg off due to the Wayne your oh spoke to you though.

Knightly "No idea why it chooses when to rear it's head" I am sorry it does.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat "I think you were both being U. The film was only 5 mins in, hardly the middle. You could have given it a chance since you knew your DP was interested." See, women know your place, if you husband wants to watch it, even if it is triggering for you, you are being unreasonable! "Sounds like you were both being a bit selfish."

Unbelievable. I'm guessing you only read the opening post, Iwasjustabouttosaythat !

JoshLymanJr "Just because a film features something in it's story doesn't mean that is what the film is 'about'!" OK it's not a film about rape, (big wows) it's a violent film with a violent attempted rape scene in it. Maybe if more women complained about rape and attempted rape being served up as 'entertainment' then it would not be such a feature of films!

limestrawberry "... but can you not just go somewhere else!?" did you read the bit where the OP said she was in her bed at the time, her and her dh's bed. Should she vacate it so he can watch a film?

YANBU OP, I might find that distressing if it appeared on my TV without warning and out of context, and I've never been sexually abused.

You're right to ask DH to stop something you aren't comfortable with. It's your house too.

As others have said, the film is good when you watch from the start.

He would've made the same response of frustration if I'd have got up and left without asking him to turn it off.

It's your evening in front of the telly, too, so you should get to watch something you feel comfortable watching. He came in well through the film anyway!

Elledouble "Italiangreyhound sounds like you haven't seen part 2 then..."

I have not seen any of it but I can read Wickepdia, I know what it is about. I hate slasher and horror films and find it quite sad so many people like them. But each to their own. I can see a trailor even a advertising bill board and know a film is not for me. In which case I won't watch them. I've walked out of cinemas before because films are not to my taste.

INeedANameChange "YABU. If you don't like it just leave." From her own bedroom!

Can you imagine if a woman said I just want to watch this Barbara Cartland Documentary, hubby, could you get up, leave our room and return in an hour!

Random scenes of violence don't sit well with my psychological responses

Knightly totally get that (hence originally saying you had seen that scene out of context of whole film). I'm like that too. If scenes of that nature need to be in movies then for me I need to have the whole story. Defo not one to sit and watch something like that for the sake of it. Defo give the movie a go another time though

Josh and you too! I've watched both volumes umpteen times and still discover stuff I love. I love Tarantinos writing so I may be a tad biased though.