AIBU? Disinvited from friend's wedding

[Working24x7]

My friend moved to London a couple of years ago and is having a fab wedding in the Dorchester. We never go out / holidays since having kids so booked a room and a nanny (she said no kids) from the hotel as a rare treat.
I was so excited, booked hairdresser, new dress, and she then said kids can come too, they were looking forward to the party. She's just phoned me and bumped us from the wedding to make room for grooms extended family........ I feel a fool, had booked the hotel etc months ago.

[MiddleClassProblem]

The only way I can see it being acceptable in any form is if the groom's family are paying and have insisted it but then surely she would have told you that and beenpretty pissed off herself and confided in you.

[DisorderedAllsorts]

I actually want the Daily wail to run this story.

Yoo whoo we're over here waves arms like a maniac

[senua]

Snitch on her to The Dorchester, I'm sure that they won't be impressed by such behaviour.

[Liiinoo]

What a rude, rude thing to do! The only possible explanation I can think oaf is she is being bullied into it by her groom or her future in-laws.

[expatinscotland]

I wouldn't go and stay in the hotel if it were possible to cancel. It must cost an absolute bomb and probably enough to have a mini break or even holiday somewhere else.

So I'd cancel the hotel and the friendship. I would totally cut this person off.

[Casschops]

As far as I am aware, the hotel depending on how big it is will cancel other bedrooms to make way for bridal guests. Please check your booking before you go OP. What a nasty thing to do.

[steppemum]

I would wite to her, after the wedding if necessary, and just point out that while you understand the need for grooms extended family, her actions were really rude.
Just point out that you have paid deposit on hotle, booked dress, booked nanny, booked tickects etc and that her changing her mind has cost you xxx hundred pounds.

I find this unbelievable that she hasn't thought of that.

Do go ahead and have a faba weekend though, the money you would have spent on the wedding present you coudl use to buy tickets to a show or something

[divadee]

We had the same happen this year. But.... my other half was the best man and was sacked as best man and removed from the invite list as he couldn't make the stag do. The reason he couldn't make the stag do was we had just had a baby and I nearly died in childbirth losing 6.5 pints of blood and was a wreck at home recovering.

Suffice to say the friendship that had lasted 30 years is all but ended. They chat by text maybe once a month for about 10 mins but it's all very strained and awkward.

I would just go and have an amazing weekend and forget about the wedding. The friendship will filter off anyway as you won't be able to get over the hurt. We can't for the friend that did it to us.

[Tirtytreeandaturd]

And if you and your husband arrive back late to the Dorchester from your fun night out and happen to accidentally fall against the door /telephone the honeymoon suite every 5 minutes at 3am, that would be fun. Better still start ordering, pizza, cigarettes, a lady of the night...... the mind boggles at the possibilities🤦‍♀️🤡🤓

[DollyLlama]

Totally agree with atticus, stuff this 'friend'!

Go out and have an amazing night, you deserve it.

[JaneEyre70]

I'd take it on the chin, keep the room and go away anyway. You'll have a fab time!! That is a truly appalling thing to do, you can't invite someone to a wedding then change your mind

[ChickyChickyChoccy]

senua Fri 23-Jun-17 08:45:57
Snitch on her to The Dorchester, I'm sure that they won't be impressed by such behaviour.

Lol they they would think you were a nutter. Dorchester are a hotel not the Wedding Police. People do get funny ideas .

[TheHobbitMum]

Unbelievable! Definitely go and have a great time while ignoring the now exfriend. Book a show instead of a gift x

[Ineedmorelemonpledge]

Also another one here that had the fleeting first thought that the grooms family or the groom may be bullying her about the wedding guest list, or controlling it in some way.

She's your friend op, would you get the feeling that this is a possibility, or not? Are you close, I mean did she involve you in discussions about the wedding planning for example.

My first thought would be concern at my friend exhibiting such strange behaviour. I can't imagine unless your a person with skin as thick as a t-Rex that it would be an easy call to make to tell someone that.

I agree also with a previous poster, the hotel may call you to cancel the booking if they need more rooms to accommodate the wedding guests. This happened at the Ritz a few years ago to a colleague of mine. But they offered her generous compensation.

I agree it'd be nice to keep your plans and still enjoy your weekend. But I'd flail a bit when I saw the guests, wedding etc as it'd make me feel sad all over again at the situation. I'd prefer to make another booking somewhere else or for another time.

Sorry for you op. What an awful call to have.

[ohfourfoxache]

What a bitch

She would be an ex friend for definite

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

That is SO unbelievably rude! How on earth does she think that's ok behaviour?!

I wouldn't be speaking to her again, that's for sure!

[BadLad]

Snitch on her to The Dorchester, I'm sure that they won't be impressed by such behaviour.

[DoomGloomAndKaboom]

divadee - BLOODY HELL!

Firstly, many congrats on your new baby, and I hope you are recovered now.

Secondly - someone who threw a tantrum and sacked your dh as best man, and disinvited you both from the wedding in those circumstances, was not a friend at all. Fuck thirty years, that's thirty years wasted on a fairweather friend and I would be ditching the 10 minute phone calls, personally.

Thirdly, bloody hell again....... I bet that made the potential godparent list a bit shorter though

[kaytee87]

That's awful! Are you sure it's not some sort of misunderstanding? Did you actually receive and rsvp to an invitation?
I'm gobsmacked that someone would actually do this

[FavouriteWasteofSlime]

Beyond rude, I really hope you are no longer going to be friends with her.

Seriously, who does something like that? Send her an invoice.

[divadee]

doom oh yes said person was on the list but was all too soon scrubbed out. I think what hurt the most was the lack of communication. We only found out when partner called to confirm some things. And then it was said in a 'you have enough on your plate so I asked xxx to do it all as you can't make the weekend stuff'

He was very upset and has questioned the validity of the friendship over and over. He was so sad. But we have an amazing baby that makes up for fickle friends!!

[FavouriteWasteofSlime]

Wow divadee, just wow. That's appalling. I can't believe your DH still even texts him.

[senua]

Lol they they would think you were a nutter. Dorchester are a hotel not the Wedding Police. People do get funny ideas

The Dorchester have Standards, doncha know. They're going to wonder, if the bridezilla can behave that disgracefully, what sort of people they are landed with. They will ask for extra accidental damage deposit and frisk all the guests on the way out to make sure they haven't stolen the cutlery.

[LoisWilkersonsLastNerve]

Snitch on her to The Dorchester

Comment of the day My neighbour wore PJ's on the school run. I'm telling the Dorchester.

[Iamastonished]

I would feel inclined to just cut all contact with her and block her on social media. Can you get a refund for the hotel?