AIBU? Disinvited from friend's wedding

[Working24x7]

My friend moved to London a couple of years ago and is having a fab wedding in the Dorchester. We never go out / holidays since having kids so booked a room and a nanny (she said no kids) from the hotel as a rare treat.
I was so excited, booked hairdresser, new dress, and she then said kids can come too, they were looking forward to the party. She's just phoned me and bumped us from the wedding to make room for grooms extended family........ I feel a fool, had booked the hotel etc months ago.

[OooYouAreAwful]

Think while may be on to something, any chance you as an old friend could 'show up' any elaborations about her shes said to new friends?

[BewareOfDragons]

Wow.

Incredibly rude behaviour by the bride. I'm not sure the friendship could recover had it happened to me.

[Missolford33]

Yeh unfriend and go have a good time with your man. I'm sure he will
Love the new dress hair etc have fun! ;)

[shinysinkredemption]

Bang out of order. Unless it's completely out of character or she was overruled by DH family I'd cool things with her for the foreseeable.

[KirstyLaura]

I agree with the majority of everyone else, that was disgusting behavior from your ex friend. I hope you let her know what a scummy thing she did to you and you are able to move on. Cancel the room and spend the money on a different special treat with your husband or family together. It will feel bitter to be there the same night, and you might bump into people. Let us know how it goes

[BengalGal]

You can cancel at the Dorchester with 48 hours notice. They don't offer the cheap no cancel option. As the cheapest room is 570£ a night it might make sense to cancel and use the money for a different break. I would also cancel the friendship, unless it appears she was bullied into this by her groom. In that case I'd keep in touch. He might be trying to destroy her support network and isolate her for easier control.

[MrsDesireeCarthorse]

Neutrogena, if someone just disinvited me then I could - while losing a lot of respect for them - get past it.

If someone disinvited me knowing I had very little money and had spent some already on their event, that I'd have told my kids and made arrangements...I would have no interest in any friendship with them again. Not because they disinvited me, but because they wittingly chose to fuck me over and waste my limited resources. Screw that, no way.

[Jaxhog]

Disinviting someone is one of the nastiest and rudest things a person can do.

This. It wouldn't matter if you were a millionaire. Anyone who does this, is NOT a friend. Be dignified, but if you have incurred ANY cost - send her the bill.

PS. If by any chance she re-invites you, politely decline.

[Mrstiggywink49]

I'd never talk to her again!

[brotherphil]

If someone overbearing made a demand of me and said that otherwise it would ruin their day and they'd never talk to me again, I'd be very tempted to reply "Is that a promise?".

[FrostyPopThePenguinLord]

How utterly tacky, who doesn't have a firm guestlist before inviting people. It is only once you have all your RSVPs that you invite more people to fill up spaces. If you don't RSVP on time as far as I'm concerned you are not coming.
I had a very small wedding and had only very close family, I'm sure I offended a few by not inviting them, but I never gave anyone false hope about being invited, we were actually very clear and firm about it being a very small wedding, nothing personal but our venue only held 40 and there was nothing more to be done.
Have a fabulous date with your partner, spoil yourselves and forget the silly twit. You don't need to attend the events of people who have so little regard for you and your feelings.
Whatever you do don't minimise this to her, if she says anything make sure she knows the expense and trouble you have been to on her behalf. X

[HappyFlappy]

Teddy Bear Museum though

[PutThatPomBearBack]

Sugar are you going to the wedding?
--
Grabs popcorn--

[sunnybears]

I got uninvited from a good friends weeding a few years ago. I went to wedding fairs with her and we emailed every day and I helped out with all her wedding issues. I wasn't even in the main wedding party but I was doing what a friend does. I went along to the hen do even though I didn't know anyone. I felt a bit ill during dinner and started feeling really anxious. I took myself off home. She went nuts and said I was rude and don't bother with the wedding. We will see where we are after it. I said no it's fine forget it. We haven't spoken since. I did tell people I was leaving the hen do but apparently I wasn't to leave! I could have stayed and thrown up over the dinner table. I felt it better to leave and not bring the evening down. So there you go. Sometimes people are just arseholes.

[TheWhiteRoseOfYork]

The first time I read the thread I also thought OP meant the wedding in Dorchester in Dorset. Just to go off topic, but Dorchester is a very posh town. Has anyone been to the Tesco superstore there? It has a fountain outside, Definitely a cut- above your average Tesco in my area.

[SocksRock]

Dorchester in Oxfordshire is also very nice :-)

[PovertyJetset]

where is the op ????

[Working24x7]

Thanks to all posters, we cancelled everything and relieved not to spend so much for one crazy night. I have deleted and blocked her number 😊

[Kannet]

Well done op.

[BewareOfDragons]

I'm glad you were able to cancel everything, OP. Sounds like you are well rid of your 'friend'.

I hope you and your DH get a night out without all the drama this summer.

[NellieBuff]

I am so glad you got your money back and I am relieved you have cut contact with this so-called friend. You deserve so much better.

[garmsfresh]

That's insane but not the craziest wedding related thing I have heard today ..,
A very good pal who lost a parent not so long ago became ill and consequently put on a few poundage. Well she's just been Informed she can no longer be a bridesmaid as the other 3 are " very slim " .

Brides are c🌸🌸🌸's

[ProphetOfDoom]

I'm glad

[EmNetta]

So pleased you've sorted this out so well, good for you.